Saturday, April 01, 2006

EXCLUSIVE: Foreign Tory Lendors Revealed

In another exclusive for this Blog I can reveal the identity of two of the foreign benefactors who lent money to the Conservative Party before the last election. They were Portuguese Shipping magnate Abril Chiste and Russian Oil billionaire Approlina Wytka. Little is known about either man and a Google search reveals nothing. I have learned that Michael Crick was due to unveil them in his report on Newsnight last night but BBC lawyers prevented him from doing so, saying he must wait a few hours. Crick threw a wobbly and threatened to walk out. He was heard to shout "I'd get more bloody support from Alex Ferguson!". By then it was too late to get the names into Saturday's papers despite Andrew Pierce of The Times personally ringing Rupert Murdoch in a vein attempt to get him to stop the presses. Chiste and Wytka are understood to have loaned £250,000 each but were repaid shortly after polling day direct from the Party's secret vaults in Transylvania (since transferred to a secret location in Notting Hill). The terms of the loan are unknown but there is no suggestion from anyone that they broke any rules. A Conservative Spokesman told this blog: "We have at all times kept it real and made clear that we are all in this together."

10 comments:

barbara worth said...

Well done for uncovering this, Iain. I understand that Italian movie goddess Aprile Sciocco also chipped in with a few quid.

Iain Dale said...

Barbara, I was saving that one for later!

Anonymous said...

Ian, it is rumoured that a little known Irish entrepreneur and multi-millionaire called Ardal O'ediout has also been named as having given the Tories a few quid. Can you confirm?

Iain Dale said...

Mike, nothing would surprise me. Today of all days.

Anonymous said...

Conservatives should be alarmed about the news that the late Francois Mitterand's secret mistress Avril Idiote put her hands in her pockets too...

Anonymous said...

What about Avril Lavigne...

I'm not getting the hang of this am i?

Anyway, Abril Chiste stops at midday, you know. For lunch, that is...

Rigger Mortice said...

the thought of Crick having a wobbly makes me laugh.His first decent story in years and the lawyers block him.Superb.He must be squirming in his sandals

Just goes to show if you want the news,read the blogs

kingbongo said...

another comedy story from April the 1st in the year 2000

"underlined the concern on the Labour side about what has become known as "cash for coronets""

oh, I've just realised it wasn't a joke but a story by George Jones in the Telegraph. Don't remember the Crick investigation into that one.

Anonymous said...

Lendors?

You mean 'lenders'...

Tut.

Anonymous said...

Tory Spoksperson quoted "we are keeping it real".

Christ, you must be in trouble if you've recruited Ali G as a spokesperson!!