Not happy, not happy at all. I'm typing this sitting in the BBC car park waiting for Audi Assist to come and rescue me. Zac Goldsmith would say it serves me right for buying a one man global warming machine. My response would be that I didn't buy it, my partner did! We got it nine days ago and during that time have been able to drive it for one whole day. You turn the key to start it and nothing happens. I think it's safe to say that Audi can have it back on Monday morning.
UPDATE 3am: I'm home. I really wouldn't want to be the Audi Sales Manager on Monday morning. As Dr David Banner used to say: "You wouldn't like me when I am angry..."
If you buy a Skoda, sorry "Audi", what do you expect?
Oh dear, and still listed as an Audi lover in the left column. Time for a nice sensible car, what about a Kia Picanto or a Perodua Myvi? Vorsprung durch Tuktuk.
Don't worry: Richard Branson will say that he's coming to rescue you.
Of course, although he will SAY he's coming to the rescue he won't actually turn up - he's to busy turning chinese ladies up-side-down to see if their wearing any knickers.
Serves you bloody right! Get a Honda - now they are well engineered.
A minor blip Iain.
I had regular trouble with my BMW. Each 'incident' cost about GBP 700/800. Towed home by the AA, I asked the patrol man which cars break down the most. He told me that all cars break down except Japanese - BMW Mercedes Audi the lot.
He often had to attend broken down police BMWs on emergency business. He felt sorry for the Police being made to use them.
Prior to the BMW I had bought Hondas for 25 years and never had anything go wrong once.
Now I live without a car most of the time.
Much better for health. Walking more. Never get bad back.
The (lack of) reliability of cars is covered in Consumer surveys. Just stop looking at which ones are prettier and buy a reliable one. It's only a bloody car after all.
Japanese cars are reliable - it doesn't matter where they are made - UK made ones are fine, the AA man told me.
Iain - saw you doing the paper review earlier. Who was that tasty bit of posh totty along side you?
Do you think I'm in with a chance?
We, only if you want to have a fight with Piers Morgan. Celia Walden is his girlfriend. She is also editor of the Telegraph's Spy Column.
You should have come back in. I'd have got you a cup of tea and a licence fee subsidised biscuit, Iain.
Dear, oh dear, that's a shame Iain. One of my friends took delivery of one of the first A5's that came out of the showroom here. He's had it a couple of months now and is well pleased. I took delivery of the new A4 last week and there is absolutely nothing wrong.....yet!
The opportunity to batter Piers Morgan is hardly a disincentive.
Are you absolutely sure it's not an Alfa Romeo with an Audi badge on it?
Like the now extint AA man, does the chap from the company which provided that vehicle greet one with the traditional: Audi doody then?
As Dr David Banner used to say: "You wouldn't like me when I am angry..."
Wwww - I'm frightened Iain Dale - the Incredible Sulk.
Shame that the government banned Ladas - you would never have these sort of problems if you drove a Lada.
The Spy Column is the epitome of what is wrong with the Telegraph nowadays.
We're on to our second Mazda - never lets us down and fabulous service from the Main Dealer.
Calm down and go for a walk instead - losing your temper won't do you any good.
Oh Dear......,i had a spot of bother on Thursday,..or rather my Wife did.
She filled up the car with Petrol,
she had a senior moment, and forgot it was a Diesel
Fortunately, the car has a sensor fitted,and if it detects "contamination" it just will not start.
The RAC man came and organised a truck to return the car to my garage.
I Collected it yesterday, and paid the bill of £250.
Could have been worse, without the sensor,the entire engine could have blown,and landed me with a bill of £3500 or so....
The car in front is a Toyota. The car at the side of the road is an Audi.
Fight Piers? It would be a pleasure, and worth it just to give him a good kicking.
But you have to wonder about any woman who'd go out with the toerag..
How come a Tory like you buys foreign cars? Ergh, are there still British cars??? My Audi is ok! Maybe it's you, Iain?!
Aw, diddums.. Why not try using public transport ? Mind you, if your media tarting gets any worse, you will be getting the 'limo treatment' back to Tunbridge Wells...
Have you read the manual?
Some years ago, in Guildford, a man was having a dreadful time with his Alfa Romeo, he was not getting anywhere with the company.
So he sprayed all over it, slogans such as, 'This car is crap etc' and parked it at Guildford station. The story was picked up by the media, he soon got all the attention he needed!
I had nothing but trouble with my Audi in Germany, in 2 years I had them out 5 times. I have always had Japanease cars in the UK as I have now. They are the most reliable, but with most thing in Britain its style over quality.
Why is your blog giving support to Brian Paddick?
Why oh why do people spend over £10k on a bloody car! I make do with me 2nd hand ford focus! NOTHING has gone wrong with it!
I agree that 'Audi lover' may well no longer be a true reflection of the Dale-ite policy position vis-a-vis personal transportation systems.
As I was parking my Lada Niva in Sainsburys car park a very smart brand new Audi 4x4 pulled in along side. The owner gave me one of those dismissive looks that we Lada owners get from time to time. On my return from shopping I was delighted to see the Audi being winched up an AA recovery truck as the electrics had completely failed. I got into my Niva and as I pulled out I handed the Audi owner a sticker. It says
"Lada Niva. Built for Siberia not Suburbia."
He was not best pleased but I chuckled all the way home.
My other car is a Honda. Never had a single problem.
I've heard lots about Honda reliability. Can complain about my VW though.
One more thing. You've got an ad for the No to a third runway at Heathrow". Do you support the campaign?
Where else in the South-East could a new airport be built? Or should we use an existing airfield like Manston? (Kent International)
I am not "giving support" to Brian Paddick. I am taking his money.
Jeremy, I fully support a third runway at Heathrow. Just because I carry an advert (which I didn't actually know about) does not mean I endorse the message. Does ITV endorse all its advertisers?
It's the 'four spring duck technique' what does it.....
If you're serious about reliability you could do much worse that getting a cheap Japanese runabout. If you want to drive around in an Audi then get yourself a good and skilled independent mechanic.
I've had Audis, Volkswagens and, latterly, SEATs for years. All of the Volkswagens and Audis did more than 150k miles with little difficulty. I kept a couple of the Audis for over 250k miles and only got rid of them because I was bored.
But don't rely on the VAG group to keep your car in good order. Latest labour charges are about £150 per hour - slightly below those of a solicitor - and for that you get the apprentice idiot boy 'working' on your vehicle.
My independent mechanic is reliable, honest and really conscientious. I know, I've checked his work and watched over his shoulder. He charges me £35 per hour.
Simon - "why do people spend more than £10K on a car?" I would hazard a guess that it's because they can afford to. I make no apology for the fact that I would if I could.
Wouldn't be an Audi though, dull tank-like things. TT excepted :-)
dearieme, yeah, 130 miles. Great idea.
Simon, if people didn;t spend more than £10 on new cars, there wouldnt be any second hand ones, would there? :)
Just to make clear, I still love Audis despite last night! Indeed, I love them so much, I ordered a new S5 yesterday. [battens down hatches]
Glutton for punishment aren't you
I have told you before get yourself The Ultimate Machine...
"Just to make clear, I still love Audis despite last night! Indeed, I love them so much, I ordered a new S5 yesterday. [battens down hatches]"
As Clarkson might say, work harder and get an R8! ;-)
The S5 is a very sexy car though, a right fanny-magnet, so you may be getting some unwanted attention.
In my experience, Audi drivers, are worse than BMW 3 series drivers, especially the ones that drive the smaller diesel models. They are always rooted to the fast lane of the motorway, doing 120mph. It's as if they are trying to forget that they are driving a future mini-cab, and just want to prove that diesels can move as well.
At least you are driving a proper missile, that is so much more classy than a beamer, and I bet you drive like it like a Vicar in Moriis Minor anyway! :-)
Hold on to that Audi Iain! There is a pitcure of an Audi Quattro in today's (Sunday) Telegraph for the BBC series "Ashes to Ashes". They could be worth a shedload in a few weeks time. Well maybe if you'd bought it in 1982.
We own an Audi took it for a spare key and the mechanic seems to have ruined the central locking
NOW WE HAVE NO CAR STILL IN THE GARAGE AS WE WILL NOT PAY FOR THIER DAMAGE.
SO NEVER SERVICE AN AUDI OR BUY A NEW CAR KEY IN GIBRALTAR
MIGHT AS WELL CHANGE MODEL
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