Monday, September 04, 2006

The Importance of Dr John Reid

'Dr' John Reid has rearranged his offices to reflect his new importance. As he was sitting proudly behind his desk for the first time there was a knock at the door."Come in", he called, and as the door opened he picked up his phone and said,"No, Prime Minister, I've already sorted that out with the White House. And I have arranged everything with the Metropolitan Police. Thank you, Prime Minister, it was no trouble. Goodbye."

He put down the receiver and looked at the workman who had entered his office. The man had a look of amazement on his face."Yes, what do you want?" said 'Dr' Reid brusquely."I've just come", said the workman, "to connect your telephone."

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a self important muppet.

Chris Palmer said...

Very funny Iain! Did you write it or get that from somewhere else?

dearieme said...

Was that in "Yes Minister"?

Anonymous said...

I wonder why you have his Doctor title in inverted commas. The man has a PhD and is perfectly entitled to use that title. A PhD isn't a mickey mouse qualification but requires many years of hard work and independent research.

Anonymous said...

A true Blairite: deceitful, delusional, self-promoting and lacking humility...

...if it's a true story.

Scipio said...

Brilliant! What a tosser!

Anonymous said...

As much as I enjoyed reading it, I fear it's a very old chestnut, published [more than once] in Private Eye and relating then to quite different 'Doctors'.
Shame on you !!

Anonymous said...

An amusing re-telling of this apocryphal tale.

Not as good though as the one JR tells himself, of the first time his mother say a picture of him sitting at his first cabinet meeting. PM in centre, Reid, sitting as far away from the PM as it's possible to get (whilst still being round the table) and so sitting at the furthest end of the table. "You've done very well dear if they're asking you to chair the meeting already" says Ma Reid.

Glass House said...

Guys. I don't think Iain is saying it's true. Its a joke.

Iain Dale said...

Yes, it is a joke, but the fact that so many people took it to be true says it all really, doesn't it?!

Glass House said...

Come on Iain. Stop trying to start an urban legend about John Reid.

Anonymous said...

Anon at 4.45 - you must be the only member of the Cabinet capable of using the internet, "Dr." John?

If you're not actually John Reid - he may indeed have a PhD, with a thesis about slavery in West Africa, I believe, but it isn't considered "the done thing" to use the title Dr. if you are not a Doctor of Medicine...........

Iain - I thought it was very funny and laughed out loud!

Anonymous said...

Well of course it was a joke,
I've heard it before.
But that's what Court Jesters were/are for.
To slip the truth in amongst the funnies.

Anonymous said...

Haha, yeah, I'm not John Reid, thankfully, wouldn't want to take on the responsibilities of the Home Office myself nor subject myself to the wrath of the Iain's followers on this site.

I probably should declare an interest as a PhD student myself though. I don't necessarily agree that it's "not the done thing" to refer to yourself as Dr. unless you have a medical degree. After all, do you think all these guys in the link below have a medical degree:

http://www.history.ox.ac.uk/staff/sublists/faculty.htm

Also, what about the Tories' potential candidate for Mayor, Dr. Lee Rotherham. I don't hear you giving this very well educated and articulate candidate a hard time about his title (and, no, before you ask I'm not Dr. Rotherham either).

Let's not forget the MP for Castle Point Bob Spink uses his Dr. title (just check Hansard if you don't believe me). Is he a medical doctor? If he is his biography on the Conservative Party site doesn't say so.

Anonymous said...

It is an old joke, but no less good for that.

Scipio said...

He's still a tosser!

Anonymous said...

A Doctor, is the only person you call Doctor.

Anonymous said...

jafo said...
A but it isn't considered "the done thing" to use the title Dr. if you are not a Doctor of Medicine...........

Cobblers

Anonymous said...

"A Doctor is the only person you call Doctor."

But if the doctor happens to be an imposter why would you call him doctor?

kingbongo said...

The old ones are the best - the fact it's instantly believable tells you all you need to know.

When I finish my PhD I will insist on being called "Doctor" by my family and friends. To ask any one else to do it would be un-British except in an Academic environment.

Smacks of Euroisation - some of my Austrian mates get quite frosty if not given the full 'Dr Dr' treatment (double doctorate means you get called it twice - I don't think that level of grade inflation has arrived here yet)

Anonymous said...

Is Dr John Reid any worse than Dr David Owen ?

Scipio said...

Perhaps he's a timelord?

Anonymous said...

The Americans were the ones (and perhaps the Mitteleuropeans too), who started elevating themselves with the term Dr because they had a PhD. It was considered very infra dig in Britain ... I was going to say "until recently", but actually, it still is.

Anonymous said...

It's just so pompous to insist on being called "Doctor" if you are not a physician. Why does John Reid feel the need to to give himself a title? What is he insecure about, I wonder? His hideous accent? Why not have elocution lessons, then? I have noticed that the BBC and Sky News do not refer to him as "Doctor" and I thank them for that.

Here' a doctor joke:

Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.

Doctor: What does he call his other eye?

The Military Wing Of The BBC said...

An ex of mine had a PhD, and much of her "official" post, addressed her as "Dr. ....".
This being London, a lot of that post got shoved into many of the next-door neighbours' letterboxes -if Mr postie was in a hurry.

.....Anyway, when someone suffered a heart attack in the street we had to explain under VERY stressed circumstances, that my girlfriend was not being "lazy" or "cowardly" as not all "Dr's" are "real Dr's", and it was best to wait for the ambulance!

"Dr" John Reid will hopefully learn a similar, uncomfortable lesson whilst the TV cameras are in attendance!

The Military Wing Of The BBC said...

Rick said...
"Is Dr John Reid any worse than Dr David Owen ?"

10:01 PM

You know, I always thought that Dr Owen WAS a medical DOC.
Even to the point of diagnosing "viral depression" in the other, smaller, David.
....was all that just another con trick by the then party of the media?

Yak40 said...

In the UK most medical doctors do not in fact have a doctorate degree, the title "Doctor" being a courtesy. On the other hand, don't ever call a surgeon "Doctor" !

Anonymous said...

You've got to be verrrrrry carefull using "Dr".

A radio debate some years ago on smoking had the chap from Forest (pro baccy), and a director of Ash (anti baccy).

The Ash man started after being introduced as "Doctor .....", and said his piece. When the Forest man was asked to comment, he said a couple of words, paused a second, then said, "You're not a medical man are you...".

The Ash man had to admit that actually, he wasn't.

Egg on face I'm afraid, and collapse of reasoned argument by Ash. Shame really.

Anonymous said...

This idiot would make a great Labour leader, and would undoubtedly ensure they stay out of power indefinitely.

A few questions......

How can a commited communist be a member, a senior member at that, of New Labour, who are more Tory than the Tories ever dreamed of, even in the demented minds of New Labour?

It's also hilarious how he was not DR Reid ever before or after, but was during, his tenure as Health Secretary (I know by the way you worded the article that you've been waiting for someone to point this out ;-) He is a Doctor of African Economic History, much as the Labour party would ike all to believe he is a medical doctor and therefore knew what he was talking about at Health.

It was also mooted that every time he went on TV during the 2005 election he lost Labour 10k votes, but now he is acceptable?

Peoples memories are not that short and as leader he would ensure the went under into hopefully the third party behind the barmy LibDems.

Anonymous said...

Why haven't the papers picked this up?

Anonymous said...

In Italy even someone with just a basic first degree is called doctor ; so determined is the hunt for jobs with tenure and pension rights it's possible to queue behind the dustbinpersons of central Florence who are emptying the bins during the morning rush hour as they address one another as 'dotttore'.