Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Top Ten Terrible Tories

That blogging minx, Penny Red, has written a bizarre piece for the Fabian Review which lists her Top Ten Terrible Tories. Unfortunately it is not online, so I thought I would list them for you here.

10. Iain Duncan Smith
9. Dan Hannan
8. Roger Helmer
7. Nadine Dorries
6. Michael Ashcroft
5. John Redwood
4. David Cameron
3. Andy Coulson
2. Margaret Thatcher
1. Jacob Rees-Mogg

Quite what JRM has done to Penny Red is best left undiscussed. But I am very disappointed by Lord Ashcroft's lamentable sixth place. He really does need to up his game :).

Now you know what's coming. Who would you nominate for your Top Ten Lamentable Labourites?


Mark Pasola said...

10. Kinnock
8. Prescott
9. Bradshaw
8. Hewitt
7. Draper
6. Whelan
5. Campbell
3= Balls
3= Harman
2. Brown
1. Blair

King Athelstan said...

The Brown Stain, Harridan, Two Jags, Millipede minor, Irritable Jowell Syndrome, Postman Plod, Ed Gonad, Ali Campbell, Sunny Hundal, Eddie Izzard. ( Only ten? )

waymore said...

Top ten Lamentable Labourites:

10. Woodward S.
I mean, come on!

9. Prescott J.
For services to farce.

8. Maguire K.
For looking in his shaving mirror each morning and resisting the urge to cut his throat.

7. Balls E.

6. Mandelson P.
Smarm, gush, bluster and no order.

5. Benn T(!)
If he is a National Treasure than so is Su Pollard.

4. Blair T (!!)
Give me one reason why not.

3. Short C.
Drama Queen, nasty pretend professinal conscience of the "movement".

2. Whelan C.
Funny guy, loyal to PM, witty, engaging. Actually a twisted opportunist with a vindictive personality who gives the bile duct a run for its money.

1. Brown G.
Sociopath, hater of England, malignant loser. Bastard.

Andrew said...

All the following were Labour and are lamentable:

Derek Hatton
Robert Kilroy-Silk
George Galloway
Harold Wilson
Dennis Skinner
Michael Martin
Alan and Anne Keen and all troughers
Gordon Brown
Glenys Kinnock

and of course...
Oswald Mosley.

Most took their collectivism into the realms of communism or fascism, or were gits, or both.

eoghan said...

I'm not sure Cameron is a strong enough or dreadful enough character to be as high as he is - he's really just a bit ordinary.

Tebbit has to be in there somewhere. As does Liam Fox. And there's something about Dominic Grieve that irritates me irrationally - not sure why.

As for me sexist, but pretty much any woman who's been in the cabinet in the last 13 years has been a disaster. Jowell and Hewitt are top of the pile for me, but Smith and Harman would be in the mix somewhere. Comedy villain Mandelson will no doubt feature prominently, but for me when all's said and done he's the most brilliant politician of our times so I find it hard to say a bad thing about him - you have to admire his deft touch, even if you don't agree with a word he says. I'm always pretty awestruck by him.

Sabreman64 said...

Yeah, that Michael Ashcroft is a bad man, and no mistake. I mean, he founded the charity Crimestoppers and is still a major donor to the charity today. If that doesn't make him a bad man, I don't know what does. Boo! Hiss!

Alan Douglas said...

10 Brown
9 Brown
8 Brown
7 Brown
6 Brown
5 Brown
4 Brown
3 Brown
2 Brown
1 Brown

Next question ?

Alan Douglas

ChrisM said...

Gordon "no more boom and bust"Brown
Gordon "fair" Brown
Gordon "equality" Brown
Gordon "sell gold cheap" Brown
Gordon "slackjaw" Brown
Gordon "McBride's mate" Brown
Gordon "America is to blame" Brown
Gordon "the troops got it all"Brown
Gordon "tripartite supervision" Brown
Gordon "son of the manse" Brown

In any order you like.

jailhouselawyer said...

Why are you leaving the Lib Dems out of this, do you still think they do not count?

Bill Quango MP said...

Only ten? Could do a hundred without effort..still, in reverse order of incompetence

10. Hoon
9. Byers
8. Kinnock
7. Hain
6. Ainsworth
5. Flint
4. Smith
3. Morris
2. Prescott
1. Brown

And in reverse order of evil

10. Margaret Beckett
9. Jack Straw
8. Tom Watson
7. Des Browne
6. Harriet Harman
5. Alistair Campbell
4. Peter Mandelson
3. Tony Blair
2. Ed Balls
1. Gordon Brown

Tom said...

I met a man from the Unite trade union. He told me he’d bought a political party at a knock down price. He seemed very pleased.

Tom said...

What has Ashcroft actually done to earn that status? Is it a capital offense for a non-dom to donate money to the Tory party now? It's not like he does much bloody else! Where's Ted Heath in that list eh etc.

Ray said...

My two out of my three 'favourite' Tory MPs/MEPs are in that list (John Redwood and Daniel Hannan (the other being Douglas Carswell) so I guess I must be doing my choosing somewhat correctly!

Favourite = agree with a lot of their politics.

Anonymous said...

Who I hate in Labour:
1: Gordon Brown
2: Harriet Harman
3: Lord Mandelson
4: Gerald Kauffman
5: Ed Balls
6: Sion Simon
7. Emily Thornberry
8. Tom Watson
9: Liam Byrne
10: Nick Brown

I hate them all; the one I hate most is Gordon Brown – Nasty piece of work!

Stepney said...

1) Gordon Brown
2) St Anthony Blair of Basra
3) Ed Balls
4) Charlie "Huntin', shootin' fishin'" Whelan
5) Mr MacBride (source E. Balls)
6) Odious McShane
7) Jacqui "Arrest him" Smith
8) Patricia "What's in it for me" Hewitt
9) Harry Harman and her tame Dromey.
10) Ed Balls. (So bad he deserves 2 spots).

So many more worthy contenders, but, even in a very crowded field, no place for Lord Slime. Shame. Maybe next year.

Sen. C.R.O'Blene said...

All of them, except Frank Field, who is a great bloke.

I Squiggle said...

Damn, I was preparing this but I’ve been beaten to it! @Chris and @Alan Douglas

Hmmnn... tough one. But I’ll go with:

‘Mendacious’ Brown
‘It started in America’ Brown
‘I agree with Nick’ Brown
‘Prudence’ Brown
‘The military got all the equipment they asked for’ Brown
‘No return to Boom and Bust’ Brown
‘I’m Middle Class’ Brown
‘Hard working Families’ Brown
‘World Statesman of the Year 2009’ Brown
‘Now is a good time to sell our gold’ Brown

Paul Burgin said...

I'll tell you what Iain, in the spirit of less punch and judy politics and given a lot of people dislike the more personal side of such skirmishes, why don't you do a list of Top Ten Labour and Lib Dems you respect as opponents. To be fair, I'll do a similar list from a Labour perspective.

AlexH said...

1. Brown
2. Balls
3. Hain
4. Cooper
5. Harperson
6. Mandelson
7. Hattersley
8. Woodward
9. Draper
10. Beckett

Unknown said...

10. The BBC
9. The BBC
8. The BBC
7. The BBC
6. the BBC
5. The BBC
4. The BBC
3. The BBC
2. the BBC
1. Have a guess

Michael Heaver said...

Lol, amazing that they hate Cameron more than Helmer and Hannan.

Not even hatred is principled nowadays!! :P

Mulligan said...

Frank Field and Kate Hoey are the only two Labour politicians I could ever vote for. Darling is bearable and I suspect might have a chance of being a half decent chancellor without Brown's interference

On the other hand if IDS comes in a top ten list of "terrible Tories" then it really can't be such a nasty party after all. The likes of McShane wouldn't even make the worst 20 Labourites. Says it all really.

Scipio said...

all of them!

Cogito Dexter said...

I was going to suggest lukewarm libdems, but can anyone actually name as many as 10?

Praguetory said...

ouldn't keep it to 10, but here's a bunch grouped by their particular problem.

Keenest Class Warriors
Purchase, Skinner, McCabe

Worst Champagne Socialists
Harman, Booth, Follett

Most Abusive Of Their Office
Moran, Uddin, Prescott

Most Nannying
Cooper, J Smith, Foot

Most Dangerous
Ahmed, Mandelson, Byrne

Closest To Weimar
Balls, Campbell, McBride

Party Before Country
Brown, Draper, Mann

Thickest Lefties
Prescott, David Wright, Waltho

McDonnell, Dismore, Livingstone

Foxy Brown said...

All of the above - plus Diane Abbott, Margaret Hodge, Yvette Cooper and Phil Woolas. I'd also like to include Baroness Toynbee of Tuscany.

Hughes. said...

Only allowed to choose 10?


I suppose at a push I can leave of some of lesser loathesomeness.

John Prescott
Patricia Hewitt
Ed Milliband
Harriet Harman
Ed Balls
Peter "Swiss Tony" Hain
Athony Charles Lynton Blair
Gordon Brown
Peter Mandelson
Jacqui Smith

and a couple of hundred spineless PMQ "Would the Prime Minister agree with me..." toadies too.

Special mention to Michael Martin, and Bob Quick for their part in the arrest of Damian Green. A filthy episode where Labour earned shame and contempt that should never be forgiven.

Dual Citizen said...

In the order I scribbled them down on a paper napkin:

Ed Balls
Alastair Campbell
Derek Hatton
Gordon Brown
John Prescott
Arthur Scargill *
Peter Mandleson
Sion Simon
Harriet Harperson
Stephen Byers
Damien McBride

* not in Labour any more so I get to choose 11.

Dual Citizen said...

@Paul Burgin
OK here's my list of Labour/Libs I've respected through the years:

Frank Field
Ming Campbell
Paddy Ashdown
Cyril Smith
Jim Callaghan
Tom Harris
Barbara Castle
George Robertson
Alastair Darling
Gwyneth Dunwoody

Anonymous said...

Not one mention of a Milliband yet, which just doesn't seem right somehow. I accept of course that the competition is extremely stiff.

Colin said...

It's a very hard list to compile, but here goes...

10] Tony "McNumpty" McNulty
09] Elliot "Phantom Mortgage" Morley
08] Hazel "Rock The Boat" Blears
07] Kevin "Comical" Maguire
06] Stephen "Taxi" Byers
05] Harriet "St. Paul's" Harman
04] Ed "Bert & Ernie" Miliband
03] Ed "Mr. McBride" Balls
02] Gordon "Bust & Bust" Brown
01] David "Where's my spine" Miliband

I can't bring myself to include Mandelson because although I loathe him, I also can't help admiring him at the same time. He's so very good at what he does, yet what he does is so awful! It's a pickle.

Paddy Briggs said...

10. Stephen Byers
9. John Stonehouse
8. Reg Prentice
7. Woodrow Wyatt
6. Ramsay MacDonald
5. Oswald Mosley
4. Desmond Donnelly
3. Robert Kilroy-Silk
2. John Marek
1. George Galloway

Pogo said...

In passing...

@jailhouselawyer Why are you leaving the Lib Dems out of this, do you still think they do not count?

Having read their proposals for economic policy, I fear you may well be correct.

Phil said...

Iain, are you miffed you didn't make Laurie's list? ;)

Chris and Laura said...

10. Prescott
9. Bradshaw
8. Hatton
7. Scargill
6. Primarolo
5. Kaufman
4. Harman
3. Balls
2. Brown
1. Mandleson

Can't believe I'm the only one to pick Red Dawn!