I knocked on a door and a rather good looking man opened the door with just a pure white towel wrapped around the lower half of his body. He was well tanned and to be honest it was rather difficult not to notice his sportsman-like physique. Naturally the first thing I spluttered was how sorry I was to disturb him etc etc but then by complete mistake said "I am finding it hard to concentrate...(nervous laughter by me)..." before finally getting out the point I was trying to make which is to see if he was going to support the Conservative candidate on Thursday. He replied "we don't vote" before hollering into another room "we don't vote do we love". A female voice replied "yeah, I vote Labour" before he yelled back "WHAT? THAT LOT ARE RIPPING US OFF - YOU CAN'T SUPPORT THEM...". At which point I could only apologise profusely for starting a domestic and scuttled off quickly to the next door. I didn't really know what to put down on the canvass card so entered a W for won't vote - he'll probably be at the gym anyway!I think a W was the least of her worries.
political commentator * author * publisher * bookseller * radio presenter * blogger * Conservative candidate * former lobbyist * Jack Russell owner * West Ham United fanatic * Email iain AT iaindale DOT com
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Tory Candidate Meets Semi Naked Man Shocker
Tory candidate Tracey Crouch had an interesting canvassing experience this morning, according to her BLOG. She knocked on a door and encountered a semi naked man. I'll let her take up the story...
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As a candidate years ago, I canvassed at the house of an attractive young lady who answered the door in some very skimpy underwear and a most impressive pair of breasts.
Unfortunately I'd actually been trying desperately to chat her up in a nightclub about 4 hours earlier. Five hours of me talking rubbish and lots of my cash later she walked out leaving me with only a false name and a phone number which was made up on the spot.
I had no idea she lived there when I knocked on the door.
I just apologised that she too had a very bad hangover, walked away and marked her down as a LibDem.
I once had a door answered by a very attractive woman in just a towel. She promptly told me she'd been to school with our candidate and would be voting for her. She then started telling stories about our candidate at school, got animated and I got increasingly distracted watching the knot in the towel working looser and looser.
A "W" will need re-canvassing before the GE. If Miss Crouch doesn't revisit I am sure her Campaign Manager will relish the opportunity to do so!
What bloody useless canvassing.
Here is a clear indication of an anti-labour feeling to be worked on and massaged and developed and enlarged and grasped firmly until it can be brought to its ecstatic conclusion in ........
A vote for the Conservative candidate!
"Tory Candidate Meets Semi Naked Man Shocker"
Nothing to do with this story
If the roles had been reversed, and a semi naked woman had opened the door to me, it would have been a "W".
The candidate flipped through the canvass cards, noting down the several addresses where electors had been identified only by the initials "JW".
[Those who've been there can safely ignore the rest of the anecdote.]
The candidate, seeing his initials alongside whole households, believed these indicated doubters who needed only a sight of his presence and a touch of his dulcet persuasion.
Only after knocking at the third address, did the penny drop: "Jehovah's Witnesses".
Iain looks like Watford will be looking for a PPC: put yourself forward.
'Labour ripping us off?'
Nonsense. They've been investing in public services, and buying aircraft carriers for Nicholas Sarkozy.
The ignorance and lack of appreciation of Gordon Brown by ordinary people means that all future general elections will be cancelled.
President Brown will rule forever from Brussels while democracy in Britain is suspended as it will soon be in Ireland.
The opinions of the half naked man are no longer required.
Lucky cow. ;)
Alone in the house at the age of fourteen I got out the bath (naked) and went downstairs to use the (working) lav downstairs. As I exited the lav my sister and four sixteen year old friends started to enter the house. I ducked into the dining room and to my horror discovered the group decided to follow me to listen to my sisters new Jam album. I stood stiff for 15 mins behind the curtains to the French windows before Jane decided to pull the curtain cord to open the curtains to establish the weather. She fumbled and pulled (at the wrong cord) until my sister offered to do it for her. At which point Jane put her head between the two curtains, cupped her hands against her eyes to see outside. Had she looked right she would have seen me. I was spared a humiliating night and a more humiliating day the next day at school.
Lucky cow. While door knocking for the Haltemprice and Howden election I was told by a female of the species that I was gorgeous. Had she been 70 years younger and in posession of more than two teeth I might have engaged her in a frank discussion of the issues.
Iain has promised to do the follow up visit
freedom to prosper
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