Monday, March 08, 2010

What's My News?

Just a bit of fun before I head off to Dagenham... A few minutes ago I posted this on my Twitter feed.
Just had some really exciting news. I sooo wish I could tell you. But rest assured you will be the first to know. Feel free to speculate!

My Twitter followers have posted some hilarious suggestions as to what my exciting news might be. Here are some of them...

  • Greg Clark resigning and you have been selected to represent RTW? Please?
  • You're one of Elton John's love childen after all haha? I know,I bet you've been selected to contest a seat at the General Election?
  • Ashcroft, anticipates more free time, to join TotalPol staff team? :)
  • Nick Griffin can't do your interview because he's accidentally brutally stabbed himself in the stomach while shaving?
  • Gordon Brown has resigned?
  • Which safe seat has just come up ;-) ?
  • You've been invited to be Communications Director at West Ham United?
  • You got the Cliff Richard tickets?
  • Is your "Exciting news" that you have joined Danny Finklestein on the first post-election Lords list?
  • Congratulations on your new role leading the opposition
  • You're going to be a father?
  • Have you and John been cleared to adopt?
  • Michael Foot left you something in his will?
  • You have found a Scottish constituency for yourself.
  • I suspect your news is that the Tories have a 30 point lead in a poll- w00t etc. for the blues
  • You know where the WMD's are hidden
  • Hair loss isnt permanent?
  • They have just cloned Gio
  • Youve done a Jack Dromey and gone through an all woman shortlist to be selected for the GE
None of them are within a million miles. But feel free to continue... It will keep me amused on the journey east.

38 comments:

eddie said...

You have got a permanent or long term gig on LBC?

Michael Heaver said...

I'm gonna go for....Total Politics is going to hold some sort of leaders debate of their own which will include internet involvement in some way.

That or Zola's coming off the sidelines and is gonna bang em in to keep you lot up.

Cynic said...

Your dog is pregnant

Cynic said...

You are moving into publishing fiction and have secured the rights to Gordon's memoirs ...to be released in September

Frugal Dougal said...

Has Peter Mandelson resigned from the Labour Party and asked to join the Conservatives...unsuccessfully, please God?

Cynic said...

Blair's memoirs are already remaindered

Cynic said...

you just discovered that Derek Draper is Gordon Broon's love-child

Houdini said...

You are Camerons new media czar?

Sean Haffey said...

Total Politics has been nominated for a Pulitzer?

Michael Heaver said...

You have a fully-fledged stalker in Cynic.

Neil James said...

You have been selected by DC to run the tory election campaign..............into the ground.

Only jokin im sure you would run it better than it has been so far

Painfully Liberal said...

You've discovered the existence of a TV or radio station that you haven't yet apeared on?

Wallenstein said...

Your BMI rating no longer reads "suitable for livestock"? :-)

Elliott Burton said...

Ed Balls is dead?

Nicola said...

Yasmin is pregnant

MikeyP said...

You are appearing in the next "I am a celebrity etc...." ?

Natalie said...

Mandelson has been given the leading role in the new West End Musical - "The Sound of Hubris" - and you are the choreographer?

Desperate Dan said...

You've just been offered a broadcasting job with someone we've heard of.

Jimmy said...

Even you are now fed up with the tories and have decided to vote Labour?

charles hercock said...

Tories 15 points ahead in poll

charles hercock said...

Mandy a non dom

Moriarty said...

Jimmy's a Tory?

Stepney said...

You have incontrovertible evidence that Ed Balls, Charlie Whelan and Damian McBride are all implicated in a Gordon Brown inspired and directed Labour/BNP alliance.

Either that or you're replacing Adrian Chiles on the One show.

Martin said...

You saw someone looking vile in an outfit you nearly bought?

Hunter-Gatherer said...

Your proposal for 'Chilcott - The Musical' has been accepted and Andrew Lloyd Webber will audition for the roles of Blair & Brown on BBC1 Saturday nights.

Generian said...

You've discovered that girls are fun?

Mick Turatian said...

Gyles Brandreth is going to knit you a jumper.

The Purpleline said...

That horrendous lady Yasmin Alibhai-Brown has confirmed she will have one off sex with you.

or

You have been given photographic evidence of Brown, Blair and Mandelson cottaging at Fulham ground in the late 1980's

The Purpleline said...

I do believe the real story is you will be appearing with your partner on the come dine with me series or the one with Michael Winner or Portilo.

Perhaps having to cook a meal for
Yasmin Alibhai-Brown

Not a sheep said...

You are to be West Ham's mascot at their next home game?

Stephen Glenn said...

I have it Iain. Having being inspired by my speech yesterday on moving the amendment to recognise the pre-existing relationships of gender reasigned individuals if they and their partner wish, you have a solution for us Lib Dems.

You are going to seek ethnicity and political re-assignment and become a BME candidate for the Lib Dems. Though I don't really fancy our changes in Dagenham, but give it a shot.

Despatch Box said...

Your Premium Bonds have come in!!!

trevorsden said...

Macshane just looking for an excuse.

Did he cancel his licence fee when griffing appeared on Question Time?

Steven said...

Cameron called to say you are becoming a working peer when the Conservatives get in. It has to be that as it too early for the Honours List, that's not till June

Chris said...

You're adopting a child?

titus-aduxas said...

You're pregnant.

ToryBanter said...

What is the news?

Sean Haffey said...

... and the winner is ... ???