Just had some really exciting news. I sooo wish I could tell you. But rest assured you will be the first to know. Feel free to speculate!
My Twitter followers have posted some hilarious suggestions as to what my exciting news might be. Here are some of them...
- Greg Clark resigning and you have been selected to represent RTW? Please?
- You're one of Elton John's love childen after all haha? I know,I bet you've been selected to contest a seat at the General Election?
- Ashcroft, anticipates more free time, to join TotalPol staff team? :)
- Nick Griffin can't do your interview because he's accidentally brutally stabbed himself in the stomach while shaving?
- Gordon Brown has resigned?
- Which safe seat has just come up ;-) ?
- You've been invited to be Communications Director at West Ham United?
- You got the Cliff Richard tickets?
- Is your "Exciting news" that you have joined Danny Finklestein on the first post-election Lords list?
- Congratulations on your new role leading the opposition
- You're going to be a father?
- Have you and John been cleared to adopt?
- Michael Foot left you something in his will?
- You have found a Scottish constituency for yourself.
- I suspect your news is that the Tories have a 30 point lead in a poll- w00t etc. for the blues
- You know where the WMD's are hidden
- Hair loss isnt permanent?
- They have just cloned Gio
- Youve done a Jack Dromey and gone through an all woman shortlist to be selected for the GE
38 comments:
You have got a permanent or long term gig on LBC?
I'm gonna go for....Total Politics is going to hold some sort of leaders debate of their own which will include internet involvement in some way.
That or Zola's coming off the sidelines and is gonna bang em in to keep you lot up.
Your dog is pregnant
You are moving into publishing fiction and have secured the rights to Gordon's memoirs ...to be released in September
Has Peter Mandelson resigned from the Labour Party and asked to join the Conservatives...unsuccessfully, please God?
Blair's memoirs are already remaindered
you just discovered that Derek Draper is Gordon Broon's love-child
You are Camerons new media czar?
Total Politics has been nominated for a Pulitzer?
You have a fully-fledged stalker in Cynic.
You have been selected by DC to run the tory election campaign..............into the ground.
Only jokin im sure you would run it better than it has been so far
You've discovered the existence of a TV or radio station that you haven't yet apeared on?
Your BMI rating no longer reads "suitable for livestock"? :-)
Ed Balls is dead?
Yasmin is pregnant
You are appearing in the next "I am a celebrity etc...." ?
Mandelson has been given the leading role in the new West End Musical - "The Sound of Hubris" - and you are the choreographer?
You've just been offered a broadcasting job with someone we've heard of.
Even you are now fed up with the tories and have decided to vote Labour?
Tories 15 points ahead in poll
Mandy a non dom
Jimmy's a Tory?
You have incontrovertible evidence that Ed Balls, Charlie Whelan and Damian McBride are all implicated in a Gordon Brown inspired and directed Labour/BNP alliance.
Either that or you're replacing Adrian Chiles on the One show.
You saw someone looking vile in an outfit you nearly bought?
Your proposal for 'Chilcott - The Musical' has been accepted and Andrew Lloyd Webber will audition for the roles of Blair & Brown on BBC1 Saturday nights.
You've discovered that girls are fun?
Gyles Brandreth is going to knit you a jumper.
That horrendous lady Yasmin Alibhai-Brown has confirmed she will have one off sex with you.
or
You have been given photographic evidence of Brown, Blair and Mandelson cottaging at Fulham ground in the late 1980's
I do believe the real story is you will be appearing with your partner on the come dine with me series or the one with Michael Winner or Portilo.
Perhaps having to cook a meal for
Yasmin Alibhai-Brown
You are to be West Ham's mascot at their next home game?
I have it Iain. Having being inspired by my speech yesterday on moving the amendment to recognise the pre-existing relationships of gender reasigned individuals if they and their partner wish, you have a solution for us Lib Dems.
You are going to seek ethnicity and political re-assignment and become a BME candidate for the Lib Dems. Though I don't really fancy our changes in Dagenham, but give it a shot.
Your Premium Bonds have come in!!!
Macshane just looking for an excuse.
Did he cancel his licence fee when griffing appeared on Question Time?
Cameron called to say you are becoming a working peer when the Conservatives get in. It has to be that as it too early for the Honours List, that's not till June
You're adopting a child?
You're pregnant.
What is the news?
... and the winner is ... ???
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