Cats need "somewhere suitable to go to the toilet".
"It is your responsibility to read the complete Code of Practice to fully understand your cat's welfare needs and what the law requires you to do."
Owners must provide their pets with a "suitable place to live"
"Cats need opportunities to climb and jump."
"Dogs should be introduced to cats very carefully."
"An obese cat is an unhealthy at"
"Dogs are a social species and need the company of people, dogs or other animals".
As Martin, a commenter on the BBC story says: "Unfortunately, the people in need of this advice (and there are many) are probably too stupid to read."
UPDATE: In the comments, Ross has set the bar very high for dishing out further advice...
Fish need to be kept in water as they are aquatic animals. Do not try and take them for walks as they have no legs.
Can you go one better?
14 comments:
I think this kind of advice for pet owners is just what the government should be doing. I will also offer some helpful advice:
- Fish need to be kept in water as they are aquatic animals. Do not try and take them for walks as they have no legs.
please note:stuffed birds are NOT real.do not feed or water.
talking to them is optional.aehop
Iain..to add to Ross's sage advice "great care should be taken when introducing fish to cats."
Must be a first - I am speechless, my speech is dead!
Giraffes may require large amounts of space especially if kept inside.
If you have a pet goat that you wish to milk, make sure that it is female!
Giraffes are not suitable pets for people living in bungalows.
Remember: first trousers, then shoes.
You may be surprised to find that when you speak to your cat, it appears not to understand you.
There is nothing alarming about this.
Cats do not speak English - in fact they do not speak any language that human beings recognise. This may seem strange to you at first, but you will soon get used to it.
If your cat does not respond, this does not mean that it is deaf, or that it does not want to speak to you.
OMG! I can't offer any suggestions - I'm laughing too much!
Well done you lot.
"An obese cat is an unhealthy cat"...
It may be unhealthy, but current Treasury policy is to hand these 'fat cats' a huge dollop of taxpayer's £billions. A fair conpansation I'm sure you'll agree?
I also notice the absence of guidelines concerning smoking Beagles? Do we continue to follow the 1960's Government advice or should they now retire to the smoking shelter in the garden for their Pallmall filter tipped?
Incidentally, readers should note that under new EU regulation FU2-2008, dog whistles must not be used in the UK. Not usless you want bunch of panting Labour voters scratching the paint off your front door.
Keeper's of St. Bernard rescue dogs are reminded that their animals must also offer a non-alcoholic alternative to the traditional brandy. Further, those dogs rescuing more than three people at one incident must apply to their local council for an occassional drinks licence at least 7 days prior to any emergency.
Remember, you should only keep bears if you have a large area of trees for their use. Coming soon - differentiating religious leaders on the basis of catholicism.
Maybe Blair, Brown and the rest of the Labour Cabinet at the time should have listened to the UN advice on WMD in Iraq. ‘There are no WMD’s in Iraq.’ Yet Labour still went ahead and invaded.
Tortoise owners should take great care not to confuse their pet with a meat and potato pie, as prolonged exposure to microwaves may prove detrimental to the animal's wellbeing.
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