Thursday, March 04, 2010

Tony Blair: For the Journey


My first thought when seeing the cover and title of Tony Blair's forthcoming memoirs was to wonder if the book is being sponsored by Lloyds Bank.

It's a truly dreadful cover. Why is the right shoulder more visible than the left? There's a joke there somewhere. The book promises to be "human and accessible". Maybe, and I suppose the cover is supposed to reflect that. But if I had been Prime Minister for ten years I think I might want a cover for my memoirs which exuded just a tad more gravitas. The open necked 'I'm a normal kinda guy' look doesn't work on political memoirs in my opinion. This cover looks like it is advertising the memoirs of a has been soap star...

But will I buy it? Of course I will.

40 comments:

trevorsden said...

Cover tells you all you need to know about Blair - no need to buy the book.

Coningsby said...

Did you see his tribute to Foot last night? Unbelievable. There he stood, gurning away in his black tie about how Foot will be remembered for his .. integrity? (he's in America at the moment, so the rising intonation, y'know, comes naturally?) and even though he was bloody awful as a leader he once had a lovely chat with Blair about PG Wodehouse (who somehow metamorphosed in his second appearance in that sentence into Wode'ouse) ..

Moriarty said...

He didn't write all of it anyway. In accordance with a deal reached several years ago Blair has to stop writing at about page 120 and Gordon Brown takes up the story from there. There was a big row when it looked like he might reach page 131.

Barnsley Bill said...

Vertical Iron bars in front of him would have been a more agreeable cover.

moorlandhunter said...

I will not be buying the book to add to the coffers of this odious man. I already know he is not an ‘okay’ sort of guy so my money will be staying in my pocket…until Gordon lots take that as well.

startledcod said...

Oh per-leeease, 'The Journey'.

Has he just been voted off X Factor or Big Brother? Are we going to get a recap of his 'journey' at the same time as we watch a video montage of his 'best bits'.

A journey is:
1. a travelling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time; trip: a six-day journey across the desert.
2. a distance, course, or area travelled or suitable for travelling: a desert journey.
3. a period of travel: a week's journey.

Oh Tone, put on a tie on and a white shirt and choose a title with some gravitas.

idonotbelieveit said...

I'm surprised he's not wearing a white suit and shirt to be honest.

He clearly knows that the majority of citizens in this country have some sort pathalogical hatred of him, and he feels hard done by.I suspect he's hiding his left "wing" so we can't see the chip on his shoulder!!

caw rock said...

This cover looks like it is advertising the memoirs of a has been soap star...

... on his way to The Hague.

................................. said...

"human and accessible"? Do you think that was meant as a dig at his successor?

I take your point that, "This cover looks like it is advertising the memoirs of a has been soap star", but, well, isn't that what it is?

Ray said...

Why would anyone who knows so much about the man even consider buying this, and, as moorland hunter says, put even more money into his considerable pockets.
I should imagine it will be stacked on the "Modern Fiction" shelf, and be reduced to clear by Easter.

Peter said...

I am sure Beau Bo D'Or could have designed a better cover.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

You would think they could take the trouble to spell his surname correctly.

In an only slightly different world, this man would be behind bars.

Billy Blofeld said...

The Journey - to the Hague for war crimes trials?

Hunter-Gatherer said...

The journey is the reward? I doubt it. His journey is more like an X-Factor style journey where the money and fame id the reward.

I doubt whether he will ever say anything interesting or truthful. How I do wish he hadn't converted to Catholicism. Haven't the church got enough problems already without having Satan on the payroll telling them how to modernise.

tory boys never grow up said...

"Why is the right shoulder more visible than the left?"

It would have been even worse if the protrait had been centred - don't you know anything about publishing?

Any idea about the likely publication date?

Albert said...

I wouldn't give this man the time of day, let alone buy his book.

hatfield girl said...

There are going to be some surprised readers of supernatural and mystical blockbusters opening their new novel as their flight queues for take off.

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Keeeel him! Keeeeeel him!

Lola said...

It'll go the same way as most New Labour's apparatchiks memoirs - straight to the heavily discounted bin, or preferably for re-pulping. I will NOT be buying it. I know more than I want to about the deceitful little shit already.

Edward Gaffney said...

"The open necked 'I'm a normal kinda guy' look doesn't work on political memoirs in my opinion."

And most political memoirs sell, what, 500 copies? Hardly a record to be emulated.

Jimmy said...

Not published by Biteback then I take it?

Unsworth said...

If you're going to buy (and read) this work of light fiction could you please post a synopsis here?

Nothing, but nothing, would induce me to give this man a single penny of my cash.

Alan Douglas said...

Never mind the shoulders - what I wan to know is, above the cut-off top of the pic, and bearing in mind that frozen-rabbit-in-headlights look on his face, are they taking his brain out, or putting it back in again ?

I suspect the latter.

Alan Douglas

Cicero said...

One shoulder higher than the other?

"I can smile and murder while I smile, And cry 'content' to that which grieves my heart, and wet my cheeks with artificial tears, And frame my face to all occasions"

forgelindin said...

By any chance do you not like him then?

albertmbankment said...

Look into the eyes, not around the eyes. Look into the eyes, into the eyes, right into the eyes and - SNAP - you're under.

Elby the Beserk said...

I might buy a copy from Oxfam as and when, and put it by the loo. A loo paper.

cherami said...

Please give it a comprehensive trashing - review - then I needn't buy it.

The Evil Lord of Gracia said...

Why is the picture set off to one side? I guess that would be room for the hand of history to be upon his shoulder.

(probably bindun)

Lola said...

Publishing this book makes a cogent case for Fahrenheit 451.

tapestry said...

Had enough of blairs. fo life.

eb said...

Noo Labor is a soap opera after all

Barking Spider said...

This will be nothing but a sanitised account of Blair's delusional image of himself - eeeww!

The only journey I'd pay to see him take is the one up the thirteen steps to the gallows on his way to "the other side" as he swings for treason.

Mitch said...

Another dodgy dossier.

FAIRFACTS MEDIA said...

Blair looks old, tired, unwell, worryingly thin.
I wonder if he has an illness or something.

Richard Havers said...

Looks more like a former member of a boy band. . .

Stephen said...

Well I wasn't going to buy it but looking at the reaction here of the usual lunatics and raving malcontents I think sensible people owe it to Blair out of patriotic gratitude.

Undoubtedly these snivelling misanthropes are too thick to copmprehend that Blair saved us all after 9/11 in just the same way a Tory PM would have had to.

Ironically these critics calling for the man who stopped a nuclear holocaust to be imprisoned or hung are the same losers who'll wrap themselves up in the Union flag and won't even vote for Cameron.

Some things such as preserving our lives and freedom are a bit more important than party politics.

Stono said...

symmetry doesnt work that well in portraits, compare the cover to Blair Unbound, which looks abit odd in comparison, but also highlights another problem, there are tons of books on Blair, most of them with his mugshot and him wearing a shirt, suit and tie,so his book needs to stand out as being different and noticeably HIS. Especially as it will be displayed surrounded by competing books.

andI think its deliberately Blairs view of how he pictures himself, the relaxed statesmen, and of course notably mirrors Bill Clintons and even Barack Obamas approach to front covers.

Barking Spider said...

@Stephen

Oh, dear - a Labour troll!

You're easy to spot, I'm afraid - the only thing Blair saved was a lot of money in his bank account!

And I will be voting Tory, thanks, whether I like Cameron or not - anything to be finally rid of this Labour shower of commies!

Stephen said...

well Mr Spider

I'm pleased you at least are voting sensibly. I will therefore be measured in what I say.

If backing Blair in the Iraq war somehow makes me Labour, by that same astonishing leap of logic you must be Al Quaeda.

Blair didn't have to do the right thing which was to support America and Israel but he did. I am grateful to him personally for that because it would have been easy to go along with the Labour/ EU avoidance position.

Major, IDS, Hague, Howard and Cameron would have done exactly the same because it was the right thing to do.

Once upon a time being a Conservative in this country meant organising in order to stick up for the country and to stop the mad people.

It's because I'm a Conservative that when I see people sticking up for Britain I still tend to back them.