Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Top Ten Ways David Cameron Can Become More Popular

IAIN DALE IS AWAY - SHANE GREER IS STANDING IN

Our Top Ten List on Vox Politix tonight will be the TOP TEN WAYS DAVID CAMERON CAN BECOME MORE POPULAR. Your suggestions please...

57 comments:

Anonymous said...

suddenly discover that his dad was, in fact, a dustman.

legalise prostitution, with goverment sex-credits to assist the low paid to get laid

take a megaphone into the house of commons, and use it to yell 'stop picking your nose' at Brown periodically

Daily Referendum said...

Drop Green taxes and concentrate on matters that the voters care about.

Daily Referendum said...

Keep pushing on crime, prisons, health and education.

Daily Referendum said...

Bite the bullet and talk about illegal immigration. The other parties are doing it.

Anonymous said...

Resign

Anonymous said...

Re-join the Tory fold

Anonymous said...

Enter the real world

Anonymous said...

Take his head out of his.....

Daily Referendum said...

Repeat and repeat again that he will give us a referendum on the EU Treaty.

Anonymous said...

1 / Learn to Pole Dance

2/ Outsource 'webcameron' to Theo 'NSFW' Spark..

Anonymous said...

Stop 'PC David Copperfield' going to the Canadian Police Force by paying him a decent salary to come up with the 'Law and Order' policies this country so desperately needs.

Oh, and buy 'Wasting Police Time' for every member of the Shadow Cabinet !

UK Daily Pundit said...

Handing in his notice would be a good start.

Anonymous said...

Suicide.

Anonymous said...

3/ Buy "It's your time your wasting" by 'Frank Chalk' to understand what a complete balls up has been made of Tony Blair's famous promise to have three priorities "Education Education Education."...

Anonymous said...

.Resign

Anonymous said...

4/ Deconstruct Ming's policies to a/ Hike Taxes b/ Encourage Immigration - and harvest votes by having a helly telly tour of Lib Dem marginals in the run up to the next General Election

AnyoneButBrown said...

- Get on TV more often, he comes across very well. Try to contrast his youth and inherent decency against Brown's mendacity and greyness and Ming's indecision and age
- As ConHome correctly suggests keep a narrow focus on crime and the NHS and link to the Broken Society Agenda. It resonates and is very fertile territory
- Passionately attack NuLab. There are literally dozens of open goals to kick the ball into (lack of trust over not giving an EU referendum, rising crime, police ineffectiveness, massive overweening bureaucracy, ID cards, Scottish devolution unfairness to the English, NHS, economic stability etc etc). Go for the jugular. Never leave any stone unturned to attack (Brown is doing likewise)
- Ask the "emperor has got no clothes questions):
1. Why if the UK is such an economic success are 5.4Million people of working age paid by the state to do nothing? Why have the number of NEETS barely moved even though epic sums of money have been spent on the new deal?
2. Why is our public deficit the highest its ever been?
3. Why if our economy is a miracle etc, has there just been a run on a major bank. Where is the stability in that?
4. Why does the government British Crime survey claim that crime is falling, yet police statistics show crime and especially violent crime is rising substantially?
5. Why do some police officers estimate that around 80% of their time is wasted on bureaucracy?
6. Why are our cancer clinical statistics apalling by international standards?
7. Why are our educational attainment figures so poor, given the vast additional funding provided to education?

... I could go on...

Anonymous said...

5/ Get Zac Goldsmith to compulsorily purchase the Guido Fawkes website - as all the 'hot air' from the 'traffic' is contributing to Global Warming..

Anonymous said...

6/ Start appearing in adverts for Marmite - they'd soon be wanting the 'old' David Cameron back...

Anonymous said...

7/ Nationalise Ming Campbell

Anonymous said...

Resign

Matthew Dear said...

Become a Tory

Letters From A Tory said...

He could become more popular by not trying so hard to be so popular.

Anonymous said...

8/ Get Laurence Boyce to come up with some fresh campaign slogans..

Anonymous said...

Give the Scottish and Welsh Conservative parties formal and official autonomy from the central party.

Barnacle Bill said...

Quite frankly it is too late.
He has numerous opportunities handed to him on a plate to do real damage to NuLabor, and hold them to account for their corruption, sleaze, spin etc ...
But instead he is trailing Gordimmo in the polls.
There's only one honourable thing left to do ...

Damon said...

Get his nose and belly button pierced, then turn up at the House for PMQs and challenge Brown to do it too.

Anonymous said...

9/ Give Ann Widdecombe carte blanche to cut the bloated mass which is the Department of Social Security by offering 'Doris' a thousandth of the savings from the first year.

Marquee Mark said...

Get himself a shadow chancellor whose balls have dropped....

Gerda Grip said...

(a) Start representing the beliefs and aspirations of the people who would always have voted conservative but for the dog's breakfast of policies and dissimilarity with Labour on tax.

(b) Highlight the true cost of government waste, inefficiency and incompetence to the taxpayer.

(c) Get the team putting over and ad nauseum repeating a clear and unambiguous series of simple messages about the differences between the two main parties and why the country's better off with the conservatives. Play the ball, not the soundbite.

Anonymous said...

Undergo a sex change operation, don a red wig and blue dress, and start talking sense for a change

sonofthatcher said...

1) Promise that, immediately afer being elected, his Government would divide HM Revenue and Customs back into two separate bodies - Inland Revenue and HM Customs and Excise.

2) Make it Conservative policy to repeal the Consolidate Fund Act 2005, stripping the Treasury of the power to issue funds out of the Consolidated Fund.

3) Announce he will scrap plans for a Supreme Court of the United Kingdom, restoring its power to the Law Lords.

4) Make it a manifesto commitment to revoke the Disability Discrimination Act 1995, giving choice back to business.

5) Steal Brown's thunder by announcing he would immediately scrap plans for "super casinos" - without having to commission a report in advance.

6) Announce he would replace the rail watchdog group Passenger Focus with a series of geographically separated groups.

7) Give a binding commitment to revoke all pardons given to soldiers executed for cowardice and other offences during the First World War.

8) Announce his Government would scrap the Consumer Credit Act 2006.

9) Make it party policy to increase the age of candidacy for public elections from 18 to 21.

10) Vow to end the proposed Commission on Equality and Human Rights.

Childprotector said...

He so obviously gives the impression of wanting to say and do whatever the bright ideas people think will get him into power. People want a completely different approach from politicians

1. A recognition that they are better at being custodians of the system than at running it. For most day to day policy decisions (leaving aside declarations of war etc), people would have greater confidence in real experts, made directly accountable to Parliament and the public whether they are elected or not, rather than politicians who promise much and are forced to obfuscate when they can't deliver. If the price of greater trust is restricting politicians' ability to intervene in evidence-based issues (ie as Hilary Benn did in letting the Chief Vet run the Foot & Mouth issue)it's a price he should be willing to pay.

2. He must convey a genuine impression that Government is about service, not power; and that the public interest must always come before party considerations. He could start by abandoning (and instructing his party to abandon) the traditional off-putting attacks on the Government and instead stick to a practical vision of what ought to be done rather than the usual dreary critique of what has gone wrong

Adrian Yalland said...

1. Use some of his wealth to hire a hit man to take out Gordon Brown?

OK, seriously then......

1. Read "How to Label a Goat" by Ross Clark, and then come up with some ideas about how to cut back on rules, regulations and general red tape which are strangling our country.

2. Own the socially liberal agenda and make it his own, and not be pushed off it by either Gordon Brown or Hefferlump!

3. Be more economically conservative - come up with policies which get the country living within its budget, gets the population saving (not spending on credit), reduce taxation and incentivise work

4. Deal with the feral youths and their scum-bag parents who ruin life for a great many decent people.

5. Give us back our police 'force' (we don't need a police 'service')

6. Scrap ID cards, speed cameras and halve the number of CCTV cameras. Give us back our privacy.

7. Scrap the DNA database, and get the police working on using frensic evidence to detect crime, rather than biros to fill in forms

8. Give schools budgets to emplpoy administrators to free up teachers from endless paperwork - and reduce the paperpwork required

9. Support the government's plans on the NHS to create hospitals which are centres of excellence, and bring care clower to people at home, and stop being so opportunisitc over non existent 'hospital closures'

10. promise a referendum on both the EU 'treati-tution' and whether we want to stay in the EU at all!

11. make absent parents support their off-spring properly - emotionally and finaincially

12. Scrap 24 hour drinking

13. scrap stamp duty (or make it a flat stamp duty) and scrap inheritence tax

14. legalise and licence canabis, but control its strength, thus preventing super-strength 'skunk' which causes mental illness

15. legalise and licence prostitution, and clamp down on kerb crawlers and the hookers

16. zero-rate bio fuels

17. remove VAT on second hand building materials

18 instigate a housing policy which doesn;t force people into overpriced and unnatractive shoe boxes, but gives people access to open space, gardens and green areas

19. bring back allotments

20. Pull out of the Common Agricultural POlicy, and force its collapse, replacing it with a system which links farmers to their marketsm and gets them producing goods which their customers want, at a price they will pay.

21. Clamp down on supermarkets who abuse their power to screw the farmer and the consumer

22. crack down on city fraud and corporate greed!

23. Improve access to pre-school nurseries

24. Introduce school vouchers

25. more grammar schools where there is a greater demand for them

26. bring back the assisted places scheme

and finally (for now) number 27 - for god's sake, start attacking that utter scumbag Gordon Brown for all the REALLY bad things he has had his fingers in for the past 12 years. Get on the front foot and start hitting back.

Jorgen said...

Telegraph has a headline saying: "David Cameron 'least popular party leader'", so resigning would make him more popular with everybody, except Ming!

Anonymous said...

A car crash in Paris.

Anonymous said...

Ask us scum,the voters what we are thinking and not his mates with the idiotic policies (drivel) that he keeps coming up with.

Anonymous said...

Basic tax rate for all 25%.

No tax credits, no allowances.

Just one simple tax if you are in employment you pay.

Chris Paul said...

Go and work for Oxfam?

Chris Paul said...

Car crash in Paris. That should work Hitch.

Rob said...

Find Madeline McCann alive and well.

Anonymous said...

Eat humble pie over grammar schools - admit he got it totally wrong and he's seen the light.

griswold said...

1. Sack Goldsmith/Gummer/Letwin
2. Move from Notting Hill to Basildon or Guildford.
3. Crime, Defence, NHS, Schools, Govt waste/economy.

I am afraid he has lost the support of Davis/Hague and co who are chuckling at his floundering.

Me, I am cancelling debit order since I dont think he is up to the job. Here in the middle of a banking crisis Govt emerges with credit. This is an own goal by Cameron.

4micah said...

Start working for the popular interest.

Dave Bartlett said...

1. Devolve whatever powers the Scottish/Welsh parliaments have to county/town council level in England.

2. Declare War on France, it's long overdue.

Grant said...

Make anonymous comments on his own website telling everyone how great he is.

Anonymous said...

"2. Declare War on France, it's long overdue.

September 19, 2007 5:32 PM"

And Switzerland. Those swiss have had it easy for far too long.

verity said...

Harry Haddock - Funny!

He could also make it against the law to serve halal food to British schoolchildren without the written permission of their parents. In fact, he should outlaw the disgusting halal practice altogether.

But most of all, he should admit he wasn't the right person for the job and throw his support behind Ann Widdecomb for leader. She would draw the voters in in their hundreds of thousands because she is driven by conviction and she isn't afraid to stand up and defend her convictions. She is a leader. David Cameron is not.

Yak40 said...

In no particular order:
Crime & punishment.
Illegal immigration.
Phony "asylum" seekers.
NHS.
Schools.
Expel religious agitators.
Benefits fraud.
Render the "economically inactive" active.

Address the concerns of the electorate as a whole not just the West End dinner party set.

Anonymous said...

Mmm. Then again, it might be a good idea to lose the next election, supposing it doesn't come before 2009.

My hedge fund mate told me three months ago that the whole credit thing would eventually unwind and would be so ugly 'it would look the 1930s'.

This will happen and it must happen on Labour's watch.

But we should also understand the sheer size and depth of the liberal revolution. It started in the 1960s with TW3 has has since rolled over consuming education, health, social services, social security, law, immigration,most of the professions, the police and now politics.

The only things left untouched are the City and the forces (mostly) which are the only two things that work properly.

Really, the liberals have never faced a major set-back, as they were never really at one with the unions anyway. Only an economic collapse will finish them off among the middle England punter.

And another thing, Daveboy. Oppositions will win only because they offer progress and betterment. Labour went down for the opposition to council house sales and still deeply regret missing the point completely. They also suffered for grammar school closures and the non-progress offered by Comps.

Oppositions must NEVER, EVER promise restrictions, more hurdles and more taxes.

Fixing a broken society, for example, means the FREEDOM to walk the streets.

Interestingly, hurdles and taxes/fines are now the provsion of local authorities (CCTV, parking fines ect) and the Tories recently benefitted because too many local councils wanted to tie people up. Remember the argument over bin collections?

Here's the basis for a manifesto

HOME - everybody needs a decent one - think supporting marriage, cheap robust housing, improving the housing stock

HEALTH - the basis of a good life. Only thing to do is chuck money at the NHS.

PROGRESS - schooling good enough to act as ladder. So grammars where voted for locally. Locking down disruptive pupils.

SECURITY - the mark of a civilised society. Ask PC Copperfield about red tape. Count up the crimes bad enough to call for a jail sentence, and you'll know how many prison cells to build. Immigration and a stable society also fit here.

Hit those four and you might get somewhere.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Well done Adrian Yalland for taking the time to think about it..and for what its worth, I agree with all your suggestions.

Anonymous said...

Join the Labour Party?

Simple Simon said...

Instead of banging on about minorities, single mothers, hoodies and the like, Mr Cameron should make the repeal of the Hunting Act, the most illiberal piece of legislation ever to sully the statute books, a centrepiece of the Conservative manifesto.

It's about time he repaid the huge debt he owes hunt supporters up and down the land.

Anonymous said...

Ensure that Pension funds do not close to members. Since robert Maxwell appropriated the mirror pension funds there have been a number of companys looking to do the same.

Royal Mail is trying to do this at the moment.

Labour has nothing to offer on this and state pensions, exept Gordon's 'work till your 70'.This is clearly stupid. My father who was determined to work found it impossible after 65. So instead of a pension we will claim dole?

Anonymous said...

Pensions, Pensions, Pensions!!!

Anonymous said...

David should challenge the goverment for not getting involved in the postal dispute.

This dispute is hitting small & large businesses, costing millions.
This damage will dramatically increase as we get nearer to christmas.

The goverment as owner of the Royal Mail should at least arbitrate. In the case of Royal Mail pensions they have a moral obligation to undewrite any existing schemes.

The Royal Mail pension fund is only in defeciet as the Goverment refused to allow (for 7 years) any contributions to it. In other words the current crisis has been engineered.

Royal Mail is the largest employer in europe. The effect on the mortgage,housing market & national economy if huge numbers of people are compusoraly dismissed without compensation or pension,would be devestating.

I think Gordon has failed and disapointed the whole country on pensions. Its time somebody hit him over the head with it.

Anonymous said...

1.Do not agree to Illegal immagration to be pardoned.

2.Protect existing pension funds.

3.Repatriate illegal immagrants, as any other country would do.

4.Stop local goverments and mayors from creating additional taxs or penalties being applied to motorists.

5.Stop local goverments and mayors from creating additional taxs or penalties being applied to residents.