Monday, July 09, 2007

Nadine's Blonde Tractor Moment

Did you know it's Red Tractor Week? Well, the chances are you will soon. A group of politicians has just been in Covent Garden promoting Red Tractor Week (the pics you see on farm assured food in supermarkets). The square was covered in crash barriers as the politicians had to race little Massey Ferguson tractors against each other. If I tell you that among the participants were Lembit Opik and the Cheeky Girls, and Tory MP Nadine Dorries, you will probably guess that there was an "incident".

At the vital moment in the race Nadine discovered that her brakes didn't work. She careered through a crash barrier, knocked it flying and then took out a BBC camera and camerman (who was bruised and winded, but ok). Somehow Nadine still contrived to come second. She said: "It wasn't my fault, the brake. It really didnt work I swear to god." Expect the carnage to appear on Youtube before too long...


Newmania said...

She`s only gone and run throught the crash barrier"
" Naaaaaa"
" Yeeeeer"
" But thats not it "
" What did she do "
" I can`t say"
" Go on...."
" I will wet myself ..."
" Tell me .."
" She went right in..."
" Right in"
" Yer ...go on right into what ..."
" I Know I Know ...
" What are YOU like .."
" I Dunno....etc."


Anonymous said...



Geezer said...

She took out a Beeboid. Terrible! Shouldn't laugh;-)

James Higham said...

Maybe this will launch her into the cabinet stratosphere. No brakes on this girl.

Anonymous said...

British workmanship in action.

Anonymous said...

Is there no beginning to this woman's talents ?

I know you Tories think the BBC is out to get you, but don't you think running over their camera crew is a little bit excessively zealous ??

Anonymous said...

I must admit I didn't have a good feeling about this as soon as I read on Nadine's blog that she had never driven a tractor before, and that her top priority was to suitably attired in 'jeans and a stetson'...

This could have been predicted in a 'Question of Sport - What Happened Next?' kind of way, even by Bill Beaumont...

No doubt the BBC will now have blog buttons made so that we can track the recovery of that poor camera operator..

barry monk said...

Iain, what is your peculiar obsession with this very strange woman? If you think that the way back to power for the Tories is to clone her your are profoundly deluded.

Anonymous said...

Iain, Good story - but you can do even better. You must have her phone number. Get on the dog now and let us have a blow by blow account...

Unless legal action is under way and it is sub judice..

Anonymous said...

Iain, completely O/T but have you seen this extraordinary suggestion that the Beeb is giving Alastair Campbell £250-500K of licence payers' money to serialise his diaries on BBC2?

Garbo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Garbo said...


I have started a new blog that aims to act as a round up of all that is best on the political blogosphere so that political junkies from both ends of the spectrum can keep an eye on all the great and good (and bad) that is being written about UK politics on the internet.

If any of your readers would like to submit a post that they have written or have read for the blog, then please visit the site.

I would be very grateful for a link - I have linked you already, of course!

Anonymous said...

Poor Nadine.

Yet not as embarrassing as Campbell's account of what happened to Broon during a meeting with Blair to decide who should lead the Labour Party.

Oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Gordon Broon got locked in the lavatory...

Unbelievable that, our Prime Minister not only locked himself in the loo but didn't have the wherewithal to get himself out.

Gordon rang Blair on his mobile to come and save him. Blair apparently said he'd release Broon only if Broon agreed to Blair becoming leader

Anonymous said...

Gypsies secretly ruined the brakes because they were jealous of her gorgeous blonde hair. I know this to be true.

Anonymous said...

And on the subject of Broon getting locked in a lavatory, the following from Scotland on Sunday, written by the Balladeer:

the following My Father's a Lavatory Cleaner - An Ode to GB (Great Britain/Gordon Brown)

To the tune of My Bonnie Lies over the Ocean

My Father's a lavatory cleaner,
He’s honest and hard working too
But when he gets paid on a Friday,
His language is really quite blue

Oh give back, oh give back
Oh give back some money to him, to him
Oh give back, oh give back
Oh give back some money for him

I worked hard at school like they told me
And went on to get a Degree
But now I’ve a debt like a Millstone
That’s with me till I’m ninety-three

Oh give back, oh give back
Oh give back some money to me, to me
Oh give back, oh give back
Oh give back some money for me

My Father’s not at home as he should be
We buried him. He’s sadly missed
The Hospital couldn’t just treat him
He was two hundred and fifth on the list

Oh give back, oh give back
Oh give back my Daddy to me, to me
Oh give back, oh give back
Oh give back my Daddy to me

The point of my story dear reader
Yes, taxes you do have to pay
But money should be spent much more wisely
The waste just gets greater each day

Oh give back, oh give back
Oh give back some money to us, to us
Oh give back, oh give back
Oh give back some money to us

Auntie Flo'

Anonymous said...

Oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Gordon Broon got locked in the lavatory...

Sorry, forgot to add my blog name to the above posting

Auntie Flo'

Anonymous said...

Has captain lemsip given up any hope of maintaining a thin veneer of gravitas and electoral suitability , you think...?

Resigning himself to rogering the cheekies senseless and media moments ... along the road to deselection and political obscurity ...! with a glowing future in Panto and dog hour TV thrown in fer good measure ...

Its a tough call , but trust a liberal to call it ...!

Good job his hairlines not receding ..


Anonymous said...

Ok, I know it's lavatory humour

But someone surely should be running Campbell's account of Broon being unable to get out of a lavatory

Auntie Flo'

Anonymous said...

What is more worrying is that the 'Cheekies' allow an eligible single woman like 'Bonkers' Dorries near the raffish Mr Lemsip - still, the night is, as yet, young...

There is more mileage in this story yet...

Anonymous said...

so the leader of a "government of all the talents" cant even get out of the bog without help what does it say about the rest of them?

The great clunking cottager.......

Anonymous said...

I always knew McBroon was an anal retentive.

Anonymous said...

Cockney rhyming slang Mk72.

Nadine Dorries?

Stick to lorries.

Brown envelopes?

Because you're worth it!!

Anonymous said...

maybe thats where bliars description comes from; fist, dunking, grate?

Anonymous said...

or should brown be known as "Uncle fister"

Anonymous said...

Good to see Iain on the telly, just now, helping to publicise Alastair Campbell's new book.

Newmania said...

Cockney rhyming slang Mk72.

Cockney Rhyming slang part 94: James Blunt

Anonymous said...

HIGNFY tonight, classic re0run.

From the time of john Reids home office illegal immigrants fiasco...... phil the doctor makes a joke about "al quaeda could be Locom's in the NHS". The man was clearly ahead of his time.

Anonymous said...

Who said the BBC were biased

Anonymous said...

home office taking a hammering on Newsnight over the 21/07 bombers. Convicted bloke known to the security forces,detained by special branch at heathrow allowed to leave for pakistan when in possesion of military first aid kit and info about dealing with bullet wounds, he then went and trained in pakistan, was allowed back into the country, given a passport and then went on to plan the 21/07 attacks. Everyone from interpol down ridiculing the UK’s lack of border controls.

Top work Nulab; start a war, flood the country with terrorists, generally dont give a toss for public safety. Unelectable rubbish

Ted Foan said...

I haven't bothered to read any of the comments because we all know that Nadine is a fag-hag and Iain loves that. Just watch his spots on 18 Doughty Street when he's got all women panels - how they 'lurve' him!

And this is from a fan of his blog.

Scipio said...

Poor Nadine. She should try driving a 'propa sized tracta'!


Then again..

I wish the beeboid camerman a slow and painful recovery - sorry - I mean a quick and speedy return to filming for the neutral and unbiased BBC!

Was Boris there?

Anonymous said...

Get her on Boris' Mayoral Team quick. She's just the sort of girl he needs to ensure his campaign makes a hit with the media

Tapestry said...

The Red Tractor campaign is total fraud and needs exposing. It's basically supermarkets saying they are friendly to farmers, and it's telling consumers they can trust in that nice cosy farmer-supermarket relationship.

The relationship is so Postman Patish that your mind will picture no organophosphates, polychlorobenzenes or nitrates in your food giving you parkinsons, Alzheimers and cancers. The supermarkets ahve no idea how thefood has been produced, and neither do they care.

The supermarkets deal with farmers at arm's length, cutting prices to the bone until the industry collapses.

The red tractor campaign needs to crash. It's fraudulent propaganda suitable to Liberal Democrat politicians who love motherhood, apple pie and fraudulent lies from large organisations that give them money.

Anonymous said...

Iain - I preferred you when you had 'bloggers block' rather than reading post after post of dull Tory focussed twaddle. It started with your tedious coverage of the Tory front bench Junior reshuffle, where nobodys were moved between non-jobs.

I'm not sure what your reader survey said (when are the results out by the way?) but I hope it didn't give you a mandate to change your blog to be of only interest to Conservative geekoids.

Anonymous said...

I like the Tory geek stuff, if anyone else doesn't they don't have to read it, just like I usually don't read the Nadine Dorries stuff - and having made an exception to my rule this time, have regretted it and won't do it again!

Anonymous said...

How revealing that when Blair received the distress call from, a very distressed, Gordon Brown - after Brown had locked himself in the lavatory - Blair switched his mobile to 'outside broadcast'.

Blair thus ensured that the guests at a dinner party heard Gordon's pathetic plea to Blair to save him :)

Auntie Flo'

Anonymous said...

I agree with Barry Monk. Mad Nad is absolutely bonkers. She's the John Redwood of the 2005 intake. Nuts. She needs to realise she is only a backbench MP, heaven help if Cameron promoted her!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I'll be looking on YouTube.

Anonymous said...

Responding to Barry Monk at 7:33 PM and Anonymous at 12:19 PM

It's clear that Dr Barry Monk (ex Lib-Dem and Parliamentary Candidate at the next General Election) and so called 'anonymous' (Is it Better Bedford's directly elected Mayor under a pseudonym?) are threatened by Nadine's consistent and regular high profile, both in Bedfordshire and nationally. Why are they so jealous? Is it because her publicity could be at their own expense? One is a wannabe MP and the other is an ex newspaper hack, who would rather dish the dirt, than do what he was elected to do.

These two political pygmies would do better to put their obsession about Nadine Dorries to one side, and get on with their own jobs.

Why is it that men who are clearly beyond their prime, have nothing better to do than put down a strong and successful woman? Whilst the world around them is moving on, these two are stuck in a time warp where 'women know their place.' Yet another reason why we need more able and strong minded women like Nadine Dorries in Parliament.

Anonymous said...

The Publican said...

.... we need more able and strong minded women like Nadine Dorries in Parliament.

July 10, 2007 2:18 PM

I agree with that. Margaret Thatcher was not what you might call meek and she was a pretty good PM too!

I am a man by the way.

Anonymous said...

So let's get this right, without the grace of God, Nadine might well have killed the Camerman.

""It wasn't my fault, the brake. It really didnt work I swear to god."

Are these not the frequently-uttered last word of many who drive without due care and attention, or cause death by dangerous driving, before their convictions? Oh I forgot - sahe's a Tory MP so she hasn't got any convictions!

Anonymous said...

The Red Tractor scheme is not a fraud but is the farming industry's way of communicating to consumers the high standards that British, assured food is produced to.
Supermarkets are driving down the prices paid to farmers whilst production costs are increasing but the Red Tractor scheme is run by the industry not the supermarkets.