Should I encounter young Master Brogan during my sojourn in Brighton, I might give him the benefit of my opinion about something.
In its now seemingly neverending quest to irritate its Tory supporting readers, what does it decide to do on the day the Conservative Spring Conference opens? It goes and gives a simpering interview, not to the leader of the Tory Party, but to the Prime Minister. I ask you.
The interview was conducted by Mary Riddell and Andrew Porter, but the questions had clearly been provided by Piers Morgan.
On top of this, today's edition carries a vicious attack on George Osborne by Simon Heffer. This is, however, counterbalanced by the leader column which contrasts Brown's leadership style unfavourably with that of David Cameron.
As I blogged a few weeks ago, as we near an election, it would be nice to think that the Daily Telegraph might just want to turn its attack on Labour rather than provide Gordon Brown with two pages to tell us untruths which aren't challenged.