I won't be blogging David Cameron's speech this afternoon, as I have driven home to Tunbridge Wells to support my partner John at the funeral of his beloved mother Enid, who died ten days ago.We're all really missing her, as she lived here with us and her husband Roland. She relished a good old political argument and she and I loved winding each other up. She was certainly a doughty defender of pensioners' interests!
I will never forget how she welcomed me into her family and John and I were delighted that she was able to attend our civil partnership (see pic) in June. She had already been diagnosed with cancer and was finding life very difficult. It's terrible to see a loved one suffering from this awful disease. John did everything he could for her and tried to make her last weeks as tolerable as possible. Roland now has to cope without the woman he had been married to for more than fifty years and we are trying to support him as much as we can.
When we, her family and friends say goodbye to her this afternoon, we will remember a woman who had a loving family and gave her love to them without expecting anything in return. A woman who had to cope with the loss of her elder son Roger in a terrible accident in Thailand, and a woman who found huge comfort in the company and love of our Jack Russell Gio. He is clearly missing her just as much as we are.
Enid was an avid reader of this blog - she reckoned it was the only way she knew what I was up to. She was also a great critic of my media appearances and always told me when she thought I was talking rubbish (not that often!). I miss her in so very many ways, but today I am thinking of John and Roland and what they must be feeling. Thoughts of the party conference are a very long way away indeed as we prepare to honour Enid's memory, her life and her love.
42 comments:
All the best to you both today Iain.
You will all be in my prayers today.
All the best on a difficult day.
Iain and John, I hope that you can fix your attention on the fact of her presence and contribution for so many years, rather than the new situation of her absence.
Imagine how much worse it would be if you were glad she was gone !
My mother died in June 13 days short of her 100th, so I know what you are going through.
Alan Douglas
Iain, my thoughts are with you today, I lost my father last month after he`d been ill with Motor Nurone Disease for almost 5 years, so know what you have felt like watching someone you love suffereing in a terrible way and not only being unable to help but that person knows what the end will be........my thoughts with you on a grim day, but remember that at least she is out of pain
A great many people will have seen a much loved relative or friend struck down by cancer, and will know only too well the feelings that you describe. Best wishes.
All the best.
Best wishes to you and John (and Roland)
Ah, commiserations and condolences - to you both. It's been a year or so of extremes for you. I hope you both find some peace and stability.
Best wishes.
Best wishes Iain - you are a very decent human being.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Best Wishes Iain
if I can echo somewhat Alan's thoughts, I hope you can both see today more as a celebration of a life, and less the mourning of a death.
The best to you both
JJ
Take care Iain, do remember yourself, often supporting someone who has lost someone close can be more traumatic than a personal loss.
So sorry for your loss John and Iain.
Sending love and light to you at this difficult time.
My deepest condolences to you, John and all the family.
I lost my own mother to cancer just over a month ago, at the age of 55. It's an awful thing to go through.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
Kay
My condolences to you and your family.
My condolences to John and the family; how good to have spent her last years in your loving care.
Wishing well.
I wish both of you well in these dark days.
I know exactly how you feel. For the past 2 days I've talked a lot about my mum, and remembering things from childhood - buying a puppy, 1st visit to Santa, seeing mum in the crowd during nativity play. Your partner might talk a lot about his mum now, and you'll just have to listen a lot like my husband is now doing. Concentrate on the memories. It so helps. God bless you both, and grant you the peace which passeth all understanding.
My thoughts and sympathy are with you, John and the family today.
Losing a mother is hard , she is a lynchpin of a family
Take care
valleys mam
Hope you are able to enjoy Dave's speech later Iain - it was his finest yet.
Sincere sympathy with you both, much understanding and very many thoughts.
Iain, my thoughts and sincerest sympathy to you both and also to all of the other people touched by this loss.
Concentrate on the great memories that you must have.
Thinking of you both
May the peace of God dwell within you, and the eternal light of salvation restore your grieving souls.
His Grace is weeping with you today, and his heart is full of compassion.
+Cranmer
I lost my Dad back in 1980. I was 18 and thought I knew it all. Didn't have a chance to grow up and realise what a great friend he was to me.
My Mum died 17th Feb 2008. She was 90 and had a great life, active until a couple of months before she departed. I think I ended up paying my dues to both but it still wasn't enough. I was with her at the end. I understand what you are both going through and pass on my best wishes.
May Roland and John find the inner strength to cope.
Iain - all the best to you all. Difficult stuff. No idea what you're all going thru but many commiserations.
Sorry to read of John's loss and I am sure you are providing all the support and care he needs and deserves. Take care both.
Iain;
I disagree with a lot of your views but I have seen the devastation cancer can cause to the sufferer & his family.It took my father years ago. At the end of the day it is not an end I would choose & your partner is a wonderful man for doing what he has done for his parents.
It doesn't matter what your politics are on a day like this, it's our shared humanity which counts.
You have my condolences on what must be a difficult time. I wish all the best to you and your partner and I have every faith that you will help eachother through.
My sincere condolences to you Iain, John and to Enid's family.
Thank you for keeping us updated Iain.
Iain, I hope you and John will find great strength in each other today, in the support of your friends and family in memories of what sounds like a wonderfully full and fruitful life - and in whatever faith you may have that the love we feel for each other in this world is a part of something far greater, and doesn't end with death.
My heartfelt wishes to John and you. Losing a parent is so very hard. Words cannot imagine or express; and it takes time to accept. Take all the time you feel needed to deal with your loss. John will need your love and support, more than at any time now. My best to John at these dark times.
Sad news.
You are both in my prayers, God bless.
Iain I know how you feel I lost my Mother 18 mounths ago to cancer I still feel the void but it does get better my thoughts are with you and your family god bless
Please accept my condolences.
They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:
Long, long shall I rue thee
Too deeply to tell.
(Byron)
Belated condolences Iain - for obvious reasons I didn't see this yesterday but I will remember your partner's mother and both of you in my prayers today
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