Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Newky Brown, Anyone?

Oh. My. God. That's the last time I shake hands with Kevin Maguire*...

* And yes, I know he's from South Shields, but the joke was too good to resist...

17 comments:

Marina Pepper said...

Another take on the research here

Anonymous said...

I notice that quite a few men don't wash their hands after using a pub toilet. I also notice that many of those that do wash, blithely grip the door handle as they make their exit.
Tip: keep a tissue in your pocket to negotiate toilet doors.

Tony Sharp said...

Two men, one British and one French, go into the Gents convenience to use the urinals. When they are done the Briton simply walks out and the Frenchman goes to the sink to wash his hands before leaving.

Outside, the Frenchman sees the Briton talking to some friends and decides to comment on the poor hygiene demonstrated.

"Monsieur," he says "I saw you leave without washing your hands. In France we are taught always to wash our hands after we have used the toilette."

The Briton turns around and replies "Good. And in my country we are taught not to piss on ours."

Jilted John said...

Toilets!

I once asked a medical friend what the best way to avoid bacteria on your hands in public conveniences was. Reply?

"Piss all over them. Urine's sterile. For ****s sake don't touch anything though."

Anonymous said...

I can think of far better reasons than bacteria to not shake that man's hand.

pr roger j clementine cbe iii said...

The prof is noble

Yours in nobility

The Prof

Anonymous said...

Didn't you know the derivation of 'Northern Rock'?

Shake hands? Lots of other appendages contaminated with faecal bacteria in certain circles (homo and hetero!)

John Pickworth said...

On a serious point...

I've noticed that around Asia, some restaurants place the hand wash basin immediately outside of the 'conveniences'. Not only does this avoid the door handle problem but anyone skipping the hand washing is easily seen by the other patrons.

Lord Elvis of Paisley said...

What an immature, childish and petty post. Love it!

whisleblower said...

Whistleblower said...
Lest we forget, Brown a year ago...
From Brown's speech to the City in June 2007, his last as Chancellor:

Over the ten years that I have had the privilege of addressing you as Chancellor, I have been able year by year to record how the City of London has risen by your efforts, ingenuity and creativity to become a new world leader...

So I congratulate you Lord Mayor and the City of London on these remarkable achievements, an era that history will record as the beginning of a new golden age for the City of London... And I believe it will be said of this age, the first decades of the 21st century, that out of the greatest restructuring of the global economy, perhaps even greater than the industrial revolution, a new world order was created...

So let me say as I begin my new job, I want to continue to work with you in helping you do yours, listening to what you say, always recognising your international success is critical to that of Britain's overall and considering together the things that we must do - and, just as important, things we should not do - to maintain our competitiveness: enhancing a risk based regulatory approach, as we did in resisting pressure for a British Sarbannes-Oxley after Enron and Worldcom.

Hat tip Polly

Arkangel said...

I wondered why he's known as 'Toilets'!!

trevorsden said...

Yes whistle blower - get this in on every availablre opportunity.

'enhancing a risk based regulatory approach' --- but then new labour was founded on the principle of double think ('new' and 'labour', for instance) and the notion that people have memories like a goldfish's.

Anonymous said...

Difference is,Iain, he has it on his hands; you peddle it as informed comment!

Ken Hurst said...

Look here

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8zXIrWpYq5w

Iain's view of Northerners perhaps?

Anonymous said...

I am always annoyed by the number of 'high quality' bars and restaurants where the quality of the toilets, and the facilities for washing and drying of hands is absolutely abysmal.

Half the problem are those bloody 'hand dryers' which are often worse than useless so the damp hands pick up whatever germs are on the door handles.

Why can't a supposedly developed country get this right ? And the quality of 'hygiene' on some loo seats is a national disgrace - Why can't we get something as basic as this right in the 21st Century ?

Bad Bunny said...

It's not just men. It amazes me how filthy and disgusting the women's toilets at our office become.
All these supposedly intelligent women, yet nobody taught them
1) How to clean up after yourself (leave things as you'd like to find them, my mum always said)

or

2) How to flush.

I was about to eat an apple on the train tonight, then remembered this report and lost my appetite.

Anonymous said...

A quick look at Valley's Mam's blog has a more Welsh slant on a similar subject......Unbelievable.

http://merchmerthyr.blogspot.com/