Monday, January 15, 2007

Dear Uncle Iain: No 94

In my role as Agony Uncle, I thought I'd share this letter with you that one of readers has sent in. Do feeel free to offer advice as to how I should reply to it...

Dear Uncle Iain,

Please warn readers of your blog of a cruel variation of the Nigerian internet scam which is all the more plausible because the chief scammer, Mr Big, has a London address (No. 11 Downing Street).

Last year I booked flights for my family’s 2007 holidays. Mr Big immediately demanded a £344 sweetener to let our family fly (including what he called an ‘air passenger tax’). I paid it in full, but then a few weeks later (6 Dec 2006) Mr Big told me that he wanted even more – in fact he wanted another £80. He claimed it was for a ‘Save the Planet’ scheme. I thought I wouldn’t have to pay because I’d booked and paid for my flights well before Mr Big’s demand for his second sweetener. But yesterday I heard he still wants my additional £80. He refuses to listen to pleas that I booked and paid for the flights well before he made his second demand. He said I should have read the small print. He’s now demanding the money with menaces – and I must pay up or my family can’t leave the UK.

I feel so sheepish – because in 1999 the same Mr Big told everyone he was going to replace their ‘married couples allowance’ with a better system called ‘child tax credit’. But in the small print (there’s that phrase again !) he ensured there was a year’s gap of no payments between one scheme finishing and the other scheme starting. Mr Big must have laughed for the whole 12 months after pulling that scam off.

So please warn your readers. We all know my extra £80 will never fund a ‘Save the Planet’ scheme and that Mr Big will ensure it's ultimate use will never be traced. But please ensure everyone is aware of how duplicitous Mr Big’s scams are – especially as I understand he might soon change his London address. And if he does move, even if it is just to the house next-door, I’m very worried that Mr Big will try to con us with even bigger scams in the future.

Yours sincerely

Gary Best

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have also come across this Mr Big and his scams.

The problem is that Mr Blue-Green and Mr Young seem unwilling to highlight his scams and so they usually go through un-opposed.

Anonymous said...

Gary, perhaps the 'best' thing you can do is not to fly, thus helping to save the planet, and showing your children that you aren't prepared to be a 'climate change criminal' - they'll hate you now, but thank you later.

Anonymous said...

Gary
It's a well known variation of the Nigerian 419 "Advance Fee Fraud".

Basically the fraudster (Mr Big) keeps demanding further payments from you to facilitate his promises great rewards (like a working NHS or new schools or perhaps a criminal justice system that works and does not treat criminals as "victims").

Sadly these promises never materialise but Mr.Big still keeps up his demands for further money and he can become quite menacing. Under no circumstances should you try to quibble with Mr. Big. He knows where you live.

I'ts illegal. Report Mr.Big to the police at once for Fraud and Misrepresentation. I'm reliably informed that he lives at 11 Downing Street (or is that no.10?)

Anonymous said...

Big Gordon is heading for a Big Fall.

Read this from today's Telegraph and then watch out for tomorrow's inflation figures.

If they're above 3% then the Blame Game starts between Big Gordo and Mervyn King.....

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/main.jhtml?xml=/money/2007/01/15/ccom15.xml

Anonymous said...

Fantastic letter Gary and well done it for putting it on the blog!

Anonymous said...

http://business.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,9559-2545708,00.html
Thousands face tax chaos
"Even if you file your self-assessment form by January 31, the Revenue is in such a mess that you could still be fined, warns David Budwort
Dawn Primarolo, the paymaster general, admitted last week that more than 450,000 items of mail were waiting to be processed by tax offices."

Anonymous said...

Here's some more of Big Gordo's debt chickens coming home to roost:

Public spending 'will need income tax rise of over 4p'

http://business.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,16849-2547504,00.html

The Government will have to raise taxes by up to £17 billion a year from the middle of the next parliament or cut public spending to meet its long-term finance plans and pay for a growing National Health Service, a report has found.....

Anonymous said...

Dear Gary.

You'll note that the duty is per flight. Thus you can pay the same amount of tax as long as you take half the number of flights. Go on your holiday. Don't come back. Say hi to Phil Collins if you see him. Bye.

Anonymous said...

This is a crime syndicate: Mr. Big is at the top of this apex of criminal anarchy, his acolytes in the 'chippy' crew include : Ed ' 'Arry Potter' Miliband, 'Red' Dawn Rola-Cola , Ed 'fingers' Balls and Charlie 'the OIK' Whelan All are l suspected of involvement in the attempted 'whacking' of rival crime boss Tony 'boobs' Blair last year.

The Military Wing Of The BBC said...

Mr Big told me that big 4X4's would have their road tax increased by £25 as a "green" tax.
He didn't mention my road tax on my MINI would go up by a simlar amount.

Anonymous said...

Do you think Gary is trying to tell us Mr Big is a lying, two faced shit just like Blair?

Anonymous said...

Funny how the higher tax starts just before the half-term holidays. No coincidence, obviously, that thousands more flights will be caught than if it had been introduced say on 1 March.