"England has more history than it can manage" - Lord Hattersley, former deputy leader of the Labour Party.
"Every time I get on the Tube, I thank the butch, testosterone-driven men who dug those tunnels. Despite that, though, I still sometimes find men hideous" - Actress Dame Helen Mirren.
"The saga will run and run but where will Lembit hide when it all ends in tears, tantrums and disenchanted constituents? Could this be another case of an MP digging his grave with his you-know-what?" - TV's Vanessa Feltz on the Liberal Democrat Lembit Opik's romance with Cheeky Girl Gabriela.
"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them" - Just unearthed quote of the former President George Bush senior.
"I don't know whether I qualify as a socialist. I think I would. But corporate capitalism - I don't mean the average business - but capitalism is a scourge. It is a cancer. It is screwing the planet" - Actor James Cromwell.
"With John Reid rumbled at the Home Office, John Prescott starts to look like one of the more capable Cabinet ministers" - Ray Dover, of Ingatestone, Essex, in a letter to the Daily Mail.
"If you wish breakfast, lift the telephone and our waitress will arrive. This will be enough to bring up your food" - Notice in a Tel Aviv hotel.
"Thank you to every American alive who has not sued me so far" - Sacha Baron Cohen on accepting the Golden Globe for actor in a comedy film for his spoof Kazakh journalist in Borat.
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8 comments:
"TV's Vanessa Feltz"
The lorra lorra lorra cheekies girl!
"It is a cancer. It is screwing the planet"
As I recall it, this is an american euphamism for sex. And americans rather like sex. So they like screwing the planet with their capitalism?
Bears, woods and Oaten hair restorer!
Here's one I came across, from Arnold Bennett, in 1921:
Examine the Honours List and you can instantly tell how the Government feels in its inside. When the Honours List is full of rascals, millionaires, and - er - chumps, you may be quite sure the Government is dangerously ill.
Hattersley is really a poor man's Roy Mason
I wonder if Hattersley is unaware of this quip from Saki: "The people of Crete unfortunately make more history than they can consume locally". I'm sure it can only be that it has slipped his mind.
Baron Cohen also told the audience; "I've seen the best of America, but also the dark side. Like in the scene where when my fat, naked co-star sat on my face."
The Hattersley quote is a rip-off of a much better bon-mot in a (coruscatingly funny) Saki story: 'The Jesting of Arlington Stringham' (an MP who after a life of dullness begins to branch out into sporadic attempts at wit - a bit like Roy, really).
'It was during the debate on the Foreign Office vote that Stringham made his great remark that 'the people of Crete unfortunately make more history than they can consume locally'. It was not brilliant, but it came in the middle of a dull speech...Old gentlemen with bad memories said it reminded them of Disraeli.'
Don't bother with Hatters, Iain: buy Saki instead. You'll never regret it.
The quote about "I have strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them" is also attributed to Dan Quayle and to George W. Bush - but I have yet to see a precise citation to identify.
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