Friday, May 23, 2008

It Was Maguire Wot Won It

Kevin Maguire's Mirror column is full of references to Tory Toffs. His blogposts rarely get posted without a dig at David Cameron's education or background. It was this kind of class war campaign which Labour adopted in Crewe & Nantwich and led them to a stunning defeat. It was entirely based on Maguire's schoolboy class based attacks. Well done, Kevin. We salute you.


Anonymous said...

This is a victory for the Tory party against the hereditary principle and the landed gentry.

Anonymous said...

With apologies to The Clash:

Campaigning in the hot sun
I fought the Toff and the Toff won (twice)
I needed a job cause I had none
I fought the Toff and the Toff won (twice)

I lost a by election and it feels so bad
Guess my race is run
It’s the best chance that I ever had
I fought the Toff and the Toff won
I fought the Toff and the

Insulting Timpson with a class war
I fought the Toff and the Toff won (twice)
Tax the poor, what’s Labour for
I fought the Toff and the Toff won (twice)

I let down Gordon and it feels so bad
Guess my race is run
It’s the best chance that I ever had
I fought the Toff and the Toff won
I fought the Toff and the

I fought the Toff and the Toff won (7 times)
I fought the Toff and the

Old BE said...

It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I feel Fine)

Anonymous said...

Dont dignify that clown with any credit for anything. Clearly Brown lost it - but a majority of more than the well loved Mrs Dunwoody, shows that the Conservatives are doing something right. Brown lost it - Dave piled on the majority and so won it

John M Ward said...

This only goes to show just how out of touch with the real Britain the Maguires, Toynbees, Aaronovitches and all the rest of that group truly are.

If the locals and GLA/London Mayoral elections of recent weeks hadn't woken them up (and at least there have been a few signs of change, here and there), then this one should finally burst their bubbles.

Some will say this and the other recent results were just protest votes, anti-Labour but not pro-Conservative. However if that had been the case, then the LibDems in particular (and others such as UKIP) would have benefited -- but they didn't, by and large. Indeed, the LibDem vote in Crewe and Nantwich went down a full four percent.

No: this is just as much pro-Conservative and it is anti-Labour, campaigning styles notwithstanding (though also contributing). It is also a tribute to all those from our party who went to C&N and worked toward this truly astounding result.

I am sure that Donal Blaney and I shall celebrate together when we meet later this morning...

Anonymous said...

So what you're saying is that your man Timpson isn't up to much, and had to have the elction handed to him by a mob of Toff-chanting morans.

Anonymous said...

He's Snottie McBean's mate.

Perhaps he will disappear without trace as well...

Anonymous said...

‘Twas a toff that liberated Labour from 18 years in’t wilderness.

Tony Blair was the first toff in Downing St for thirty three years, and not from any old public school either but an old boy of the exclusive Fettes. From 1964 – 1997 all PMs (three Tory; 2 Labour), were from grammar schools.

Old Labour campaigning; Old Labour hypocrisy.

Anonymous said...

Well said, but why didn't you write a post like this about Nadine Dorries and the abortion vote she lost with her rabid campaign backed by religious nutjobs?

Mrs Smallprint said...

Name calling is all the sad bunch of losers have left in their political locker. They only have themselves to blame if anyone that can pays for their children to be privately educated. The politics of envy are outdated and useless in today's world.

Sceptical Steve said...

As a north easterner by descent, it is noticable that the hatred of "toffs" is deeply embedded in the local culture, so KM's emphasis on this in the Mirror is true to form.

In any of the traditional labour heartlands in the former mining communities in the North East, their C&N campaign would have struck a chord with the locals.

Unfortunately for them, they didn't have the wit to see that Mrs Dunwoody's grip of the constituency was based on something more than just tribal loyalties.

However, in this moment of triumph, let us not forget that the result was a personal disaster for an unemployed mother of 5. Rejected by the people of Wales, rejected by the people of C&N, she can only hope that her family connnections will lead to another opportunity to get her snout back in the trough so that she can feed her bairns. Europe beckons?

Anonymous said...

Maguire's politics reflects Brown's politics. Brown, the son of Church of Scotland's Presbytarian minister
of Kirkaldy has been saying that 'he comes from an ordinary background'. I lived in Scotland in 1980s in a small town and know the status of Church of Scotland's minister's position in that community. Maguire's
politics is a signal that Labour is in melt down. Long it may continue!!

Shaun said...

I just don't get the class thing. I definitely remember being told, repeatedly, that it didn't matter if you were working class; we were all equal now. As a working class kid, I liked the sound of that. Equality, egality, fraternity and so on. Or is that next door? I forget.

However, if its alright to be from a working class background, what right does anyone have to have a pop at someone randomly born into a privelleged background? Even if it were blameworthy, its not their fault! No culpability!

That these misjudged, irrelevent 'toff' smears were deployed (charitably) on the behalf of (uncharitably - by) the daughter of the previous MP who herself stated her desire for her children to have the seat after her was so tragic it was almost funny. The woman actually appears in Burke's peerage (see Guido) so who's kidding who about toffs?

And I don't get why class matters anyway. Smacks of desperation on Labour's part, flailing about looking for something to rally the rebellious troops behind.

LiberallyCritical said...

Yes, it was a hopeless backfire. All very odd really though - clearly this was a lab test for rolling out a "Cameron is just a toff" campaign in the General Election, but they must be thinking again! In some ways it shows how muddled NL thinking has become - clearly, Cameron's appeal is that he is noticeably more human and one-nation than the last run of Tory leaders, despite his background.

Anonymous said...

I agree Iain, saw him smugly boast about it when the two of your did the paper review earlier this week.
The hypocrisy of it bearing in mind the privately educated government ministers, and not forgetting the Labour candidate that is in the Landed gentry bible.

Anonymous said...

Just heard on Radio4, Jack Dromey's wife Harriet Harman shutting her eyes and ears and dishing out the drivel about Brown who she still thinks as the economic wizard of Kirkaldy and Cowdenbeath. The BBC's Nick Robinson, the infantile scribbler produced his usual verbage which was in line with the pinko tradition of BBC. Long may Brown and Harman stay in their positions!! The Dunwoody's offspring, 'the ordinary single mother looking to get a job' as she put it in Crewe, like Brown and Harman belittled the intelligence of the voters. The last time I heard this line of argument was in America where I was working in 1970s. This was from Richard Nixon, seeing his support ebbing away during the Watergate scandal was questioning the intelligence of the voters. We all know what happened to Tricky Dicky.

Anonymous said...

come on Iain wake up and start blogging! I have been awake since and ready for my daily intake of politics and banter but nothing is happening.

Hurry up and get comments going.Joking apart i am a very happy man today and well done to one and all for the result and the very hard work.

Anonymous said...

Saw this on his blog site:

Anonymous said...

Jolly good work, Kevin Old chap !

Another master stroke by the Labour left


Time for the Crewe activists to go back to school I think - it's GCSE Exams this week !

Anonymous said...

A big pat on the back for Kev and his good pal Paul in the Mirror! They had to be worth a couple of thousand votes to the Tories each for their efforts.

Unknown said...

He pontificates on TV endlessly. I guess we are going to have to put up with the irritation now that he is clearly contributing so much to the cause.

Could he be a Central Office mole masquerading as a Geordie prole?

idle said...

Maguire is the sort of chap who will read this thread, so I'd just like to say to him:

Try honesty for a bit; try to reach opinions without recourse to class consciousness and the mixture of envy and embitterment that you deal in for a living.

And get this - toffs don't dislike you because you are a common twerp; we dislike you because you are a twerp, c'est tout.

Newmania said...

Well said Iain , I have thought for a long time that Maguire has the brain of a teas maid and is not at all funny despite his own internal rave reviews.
He is inexplicably ubiquitous in telly -land but I think I have a theory as to why .

I am browsing through the New Statesman and as ever I wonder what the point of the “humorous” whispers column by Kevin Maguuire is . In it, as is his ‘hilarious’ habit, he refers to Gordon brown as “ Uncle Gordy” ,and in a dazzling display of verbal dexterity harpoons the hapless David Cameron with a side splitting reference to “Druggie Dave “..

Well I quite literally have to gasp for breath , as I have done on each or the thousands of occasions he has employed this satirical alliteration......etc. I mean what a elephantine and embarrassing waste of paper .

Is it that he Labour Party is so utterly lacking in any human feature that they actually cannot tell what is funny and what isn’t. Maguire makes “humorous” style facial they assume this is the product they need. Should some human being sidle up to the Liberal left establishment and whisper ...”pssst is laughing, they never were”.

So farewell then Chippy Maguire
You thought you were a clown
Sadly you were right
Clowns are boring
So are you

Anonymous said...

Let's hope Kev is still in his job come the General Election. He has as much of a tin ear for modern politics as Gordon - each is worth seats for the Conservatives - but together, they can deliver us Prime Minister David Cameron.....

Marquee Mark

Anonymous said...

Hippocracy - The Key Feature of New Labour.

Anonymous said...

Toffu Maguire

Anonymous said...

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned helmets on. A man and his wife enter.

Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.
Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.
Man (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and toff; egg bacon and toff; egg bacon sausage and toff; toff bacon sausage and toff; toff egg toff toff bacon and toff; toff sausage toff toff bacon toff tomato and toff;
Vikings (starting to chant): toff toff toff toff...
Waitress: ...toff toff toff egg and toff; toff toff toff toff toff toff baked beans toff toff toff...
Vikings (singing): toff! Lovely toff! Lovely toff!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and toff.
Wife: Have you got anything without toff?
Waitress: Well, there's toff egg sausage and toff, that's not got much toff in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY toff!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon toff and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got toff in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much toff in it as toff egg sausage and toff, has it?
Vikings: toff toff toff toff (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon toff and sausage without the toff then?
Waitress: Eewwww!
Wife: What do you mean 'Eewwww'? I don't like toff!
Vikings: Lovely toff! Wonderful toff!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely toff! Wonderful toff!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't
have egg bacon toff and sausage without the toff.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like toff!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your toff. I love it. I'm having toff toff toff toff toff toff toff baked beans toff toff toff and toff!
Vikings (singing): toff toff toff toff. Lovely toff! Wonderful toff!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her toff instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean toff toff toff toff toff toff... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings (singing elaborately): toff toff toff toff. Lovely toff! Wonderful toff! toff to-o-o-o-o-off toff to-o-o-o-o-off toff. Lovely toff! Lovely toff! Lovely toff! Lovely toff! Lovely toff! toff toff toff toff!

strapworld said...


The Tories should put an ad in the papers thanking McGuire! Make him a figure of fun!

chris-p said...

Shaun's Post: Good on you-the best most reasonable take I've read on the toff controversy. Who cares what your mum and dad did if you are capable and honest.
This sort of stuff also makes the UK look cheap and nasty if you are looking at it from outside.

Anonymous said...

Er, Lola, I think the word you're struggling for is "hypocrisy". "Hippocracy", if it meant anything, would mean "rule by horses".

canon alberic said...

Do you think the voters have stopped listening to Zoe and Blake and poor brave Arabella (now wasting away in political exile)? What will Dame Vivienne say? Unthinkable, get the coal back in the bath the toffs are coming. On a serious but similar note the Today programme this morning (despite Humphries predictable savaging of the Harperson)was more like Mugabe's herald than usual. That pompous bufoon Naughtie was practically in tears, thank god for Burma was the editorial line, its a bloody disgrace frankly. Also, lets be honest, Tamsin Dunwoody was useless.

Anonymous said...

Wy are these socialists deliberately stoking up social tension.

Anonymous said...

canon alberic said...

"That pompous bufoon Naughtie was practically in tears"

Yep. He's a disgrace. Like the rest of the bbc.

The Remittance Man said...

Broon's talking bawgie,

"Rule by horses"? Didn't Nero, Caligula or one of the other loopier Roman emperors try that? Probably about right for Brown then.

btw: Which school did Mr Maguire attend? Anyone know?

Shaun said...

The Remittance Man said...

"btw: Which school did Mr Maguire attend? Anyone know?"

Was it that well known "Pull Up The Ladder Behind Me Grammar"?

Anonymous said...

Maguire is really a vile, odious narrow minded baby faced cretin, whose thoughts and words are irrelevant to todays Britain, as proven by the wonderful people of C&N