Wednesday, October 17, 2007

EXCLUSIVE: Straw Loses Out in the War of Lordly Procession

There's been a huge - and I mean HUGE - row between the Lord Chancellor, Jack Straw and the Lords Speaker Baroness Hayman. In their typical cock-eyed fashion, no one had thought about the Queen's Speech procession when Gordon Bronw made a Member of the House of Commons Lord Chancellor. Jack Straw still wanted to walk backwards in front of the Queen even though he is not in the Lords. This was firmly squashed by Baroness Hayman who rather fancied the role for herself. In the end she won the day, but much blood has been spilt, apparently. Jack Straw was obviously very keen on breeches and suspenders... No change there then.

18 comments:

anonymong said...

'Jack Straw was obviously very keen on breeches and suspenders... No change there then'

Do you know something we don't Iain?

Anonymous said...

Personally I have doubts about the breeches.

;-)

Anonymous said...

Obviously his usual gambit of offering career advancement didn't cut any ice.

Gary Elsby stoke said...

Now now, Iain, just remember the Chelsea shirt and that bottle of baby oil...

We have plenty in our bag that is oozing to come out and plenty of new pre-election stuff that can be aired for a fourth victory.

Paul Linford said...

Jack Straw was obviously very keen on breeches and suspenders... No change there then.

You're a very naughty man Iain.

Chuck Unsworth said...

I was aware of the suspender fetish, but thank you for this further revelation as to the breeches - which presumably are worn over those rather fetching fishnet stockings. Straw's proclivities are always a source of interest and amusement for me - as is his unbounded self-interest.

Mind you, he's quite good at this sort of thing. Remember when he was closely (extremely closely!) escorting the stunning Condi Rice around town and the subsequent rumours about sleeping arrangements on their journeys? I nearly ended up in hospital as a result of the intense cringing (near terminal cringe) that his arch, sycophantic, snivelling behaviour induced in me.

For a man of his undoubted talent at such matters, the process of walking backwards in front of a Monarch will be an absolute cinch. If he could possibly dress himself in some sort of mediaeval court attire it would make my day.

H.M.The Queen said...

One wishes it to be known that one would be amused to see one's Lord Chancellor prancing before one in bells with a bladder on a stick...

tachybaptus said...

I was told, some years ago, that the preferred wear with parliamentary breeches was two pairs of women's hold-up stockings, to provide the necessary opacity. Hold-ups were easier to find then than they are now. Have suspenders returned?

Anonymous said...

Sure it's his brother who's the sex offender?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/916179.stm

judith said...

Amazing how these old Lefties love a bit of pomp and circumstance when it's their turn!

John T said...

They're all nicking my jokes (no K, James, I know you're out there) I've only been gone a day! Next thing they'll be taking on old "Kilroy-Silk" Vreity-ass and asking her to leave the bottles out when she skips off back to her "offenes Grav!" (im Tal den donnendes Hufe, if any of the final solutionists are interested)

Bagoffrogs, I'm disappointed!!!

Byeeeeeee!

ps , Veritas asks for me to haul me out of the room, Iain, I'll tell Guido she's a socialist, and doeesn't look Ribbontropite at all!!!

pps To address your nonsense, Hansard's a pack of lies anyway, and we all know by now, they all lie through their teeth; it's just that some of them have better friends in the media.

Anonymous said...

"donnernden"-damn tpos, lefties all of em.

j. twat said...

Is this supposed to be funny?

P.S. Your German is shite.

freedom to prosper said...

Jack Straw was obviously very keen on breeches and suspenders... No change there then" This outfit will go down well in Blackburn. Seems a long way from his student days doesn't it?

Chris A said...

it's a shame he's not so keen on wigs though as he's refused to wear it.

Sea Shanty Irish said...

As a Labourite, two comments RE: the Right Horrible Jack Straw MP:

1) to paraphrase Neil Kinnock, the very notion that a Labour MP - a LABOUR MP!! - would disgrace the historic duties & perogatives of a member of the House of Commons representing the PEOPLE as opposed to the Crown, is DISGRACEFUL.

2) Have always regarded Jack Straw as a huge waste of space, at least as a politico. Sole achievement as Foreign Secretary was getting Condoleeza Rice to visit Blackburn; too bad neither took the opportunity to jump headfirst into one of that proud borough's internationally celebrated holes.

FOOTNOTE: on JW's exchange visit to Condi's home town of Bhm'nhm (local pronounciation) the good folks of Alabama were SHOCKED to discover that one of their favorite nursery rhyme heros was actually a Brit-twit looking like Lurch from the (old) Addams Family.

M. Hristov said...

There was a documentary which went "behind the scenes" at The House of Lords. It featured Jack Straw in his then role as Lord Privy Seal. He obviously relished his role in the Queens Procession for the State Opening and so must have been very disappointed to lose this fight.

Anonymous said...

Who is John T? He seems to be full of admiration for his own wit, a feeling that I would not expect to be shared by anyone else.

Clothilde Simon