Saturday, July 25, 2009

Balls to Purnell

Blinky Balls has gone and done it again. In an interview in the Telegraph he demonstrates his total unsuitability for high office, and instead of using it as an opportunity to discuss his vision for the education system, he does what he is best at - talking about himself. He then goes on to his second favourite pastime - slagging off any rival politician who might stand in the way of his ambition to succeed Gordon Brown. This time James Purnell is on the receiving end of some sage advice from Mr Balls' titanic sized brain. Brace yourself...

"There are times when individuals in their early forties have crises. They buy motorbikes or go off and travel round the world and have a gap year..."

At this point we should recall that Mr Balls recently bought a Scalextrix...

"...Sometimes people do that. I don't think for political parties to have those kind of moments is very sensible, especially when you are at your moment of greatest clarity and vision... [Now is not the time] to be going off to think tanks to find out what your identity really is."

Straight between Purnell's shoulderblades. Expect a lot more of this over the next nine months.

39 comments:

londonmuslim said...

"Blinky"?

Tom said...

Balls is a complete moron. Still, I had a lot of respect for Purnell until his Newsnight appearance last week where he completely floundered and made it clear his only interest lies in the futures of himself and the Labour party, he wouldn't even speak honestly about why he resigned. Little will please me more next year than seeing the pair of them voted out of office.

Lord Mandelbottom of Marrakech said...

Funnily enough Iain, I wrote an explanatory post about the Balls interview this morning. It's all part of a master plan.

http://lordofmarrakech.blogspot.com/2009/07/ed-balls-opening-door-for-me.html

WV: bless. Indead

Plenty said...

I blogged on JP's vision of the left and to be honest I thought a lot of it was right-wing? Here's my take on it, for what it's worth....

http://www.plenty2say.com/?p=252

Silent Hunter said...

Ah yes! The delightful Mr Balls - at it again. LOL

And there we have Labour; in a nutshell.

Frankly it's two scorpions in a bowl - you don't really care who stings who, with the optimum result being that they sting each other at the same time.

The General Election really can't come quickly enough.

VotR said...

The Tories should bring out some more policies now while Labour are tearing themselves to bits, Iain.

A double whammy, and one less mortar shell for Gordon to use. He'll be ducking from them himself, while locked in the bunker.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm. Curious.

You don't appear to be criticising or taking issue with what Balls said.

You appear to be attempting to smear him as someone who is just pointlessly or needlessly critical.

When you remember what Purnell actually did, it's not really surprising that Balls wouldn't have too high an opinion of his political judgement, and it's quite reasonable that he points that out. It's hardly unusual, though that's what you're attempting to claim.

I remember when Bernard Ingham criticised the late John Biffen for being a semi-detached member of the government, a similar sentiment to Balls' for a much lesser disloyalty than that shown by Purnell.

In short, criticising people for disloyalty is quite common and usual indeed, so don't try to pretend Balls is abnormal in this regard.

Hawkeye said...

Well, what do you expect from a pig but a grunt?

Fausty said...

That's the narrative in Ball's head. He and other Labourites do what Mandelson does - "creates" the truth.

Peter Oborne described this tactic adopted by Labour and the Tories in the last few decades as one of defining the objective that they want people to believe, then creating a narrative to sell to the public.

Pure fiction. Something Labour excels at but the public are getting wise to.

Anonymous said...

Balls and Cooper are too busy stuffing their faces for a mid-life crisis - remember they spend £600 per month on additional food defined as "Other food - reasonable additional costs while
you are away from your main home"

Balls too porky to get on his bike!

Tachybaptus said...

At this point in the decline of Labour, it no longer matters in the slightest what any of them say. They are automatically disbelieved.

What remains significant is who they attack, because it shows who they are frightened of. Balls is frightened of Purnell. It is this fact that deserves analysis; not one of his rubbishy visions.

There is also, of course, an attack on motorbikes. So is there also a side-attack on Hazel Blears with her classic Ducati? But if there were, would it matter?

Dominic said...

Is the motorbikes comment a reference to Hazel Blears?

DMC said...

I am not a fan of Purnell but at least he had the guts to stand up and say enough is enough.

Purnell could have easily kept quiet and kept on in the cabinet but he told the truth and stepped aside.

I would never expect Balls to do anything like that as all he is good for is promoting his wife and himself.

Domesday said...

Please don't slag off Ed Balls, Iain. Talk him up. We need him as Labour leader to kill Labour as finally as the Liberals committed political suicide in the 1920s. It's him or Harman, either will do very well.

Anonymous said...

And we care what Balls says, thinks and does why?

His wife Yvie "Bob" Cooper can't cook either, so really we know that Ed should get back to the sink, put his pinny on and wait for the breadwinner/chief flipper to get home for her tea.

raincoatoptimism said...

not you with the blinky stuff as well, its pub talk, akin to guido's bubblegum blogging, but you're at least a modicom better than that, no?

JuliaM said...

"At this point we should recall that Mr Balls recently bought a Scalextrix."

Probably just as well. I can't bear to think of the havoc this cretin could cause on a motorbike. Or a gap year...

"..especially when you are at your moment of greatest clarity and vision.."

?

I guess it's not just your readers that are total cokeheads...

Anonymous said...

One sad twisted delusional "I know what is best for EVERYONE" idiot commenting on another sad twisted delusional "I know what is best for EVERYONE" idiot commenting on the fact that neither of them have the faintest idea about anything except that they are both headed in the direction of "out of office"..and into the anonymity and lack of influence they both merit well, we can only fervently hope so....

Anonymous said...

Brown/Balls will never change!

moorlandhunter said...

Blinky Balls is the worst kind of person to be part of a government trying to run (messing it up more like) our country. I saw him and Ian Duncan-Smith on a news programme a while ago and Blinky would not shut up when clearly Smith had a right to speak. He just kept on shouting him down, talked over him, denying Smith any chance of getting his point across. But what we did see was Balls acting like a playground bully and he did himself no favours at all.
The man is a troll of the first degree.

Alan Douglas said...

Luckily Mr Ed "Absolute" Balls has enough self-love to cancel out the total absence of any towards him from anyone else, with the exception of one balls-spouting gamin automaton.

He will go far ...

wait for it ...

the further the better !

Alan Douglas

Anonymous said...

Expect a lot more of this over the next nine months.

I certainly hope so. I'm very much in need of a laugh.

Obsidian said...

Here's hoping his 10k majority is somehow overturned at the GE. It would be a wonderful sight, seeing the inane smile on his face getting wiped of.

Anonymous said...

Ball leader of the Labour party... they'd be sunk forever.

Does he not know how much he is hated out here in the real world!

Nicki UK (Trans Authoress) said...

This is power politics (I have the power and you don't (Or I in the case of certain members of the cabinet I am more stupid than you are))

Gherkin Jenkins said...

Iain, you can't expect Balls not to be scathing about Purnell. It's standard procedure.

The real question is, if New Labour are looking at the likes of Balls, Purnell and Miliband as their future saviours, does the Labour Party seriously have a future? I'd say the LibDem benches contain far more skillful politicians.

I wonder if someone like Cruddas will take a punt and regain the working class vote. If he doesn't I think Labour may be comparatively obscure in a decade or so.

Northampton Saint said...

Anyone notice how Balls looks like Nick Griffin? And about as pleasent.


Let him become leader of Labour if he wants, all it will do is guarentee another Tory Landslide in 2014 with him as Leader of the Opposition

Lord Mandelbottom of Marrakech said...

Domesday, haven't you worked it out yet? I am going to be the next leader of the Labour party. Why else was the Lords legislation proposed if not to let me resign title and take over from Brown?

norman said...

Imagine at the congregation of the White House Lawn this announcement.
" Ladies and Gentlemen, President Obama and Prime Minister Balls". One can imagine a plethora of people trying to contain their snigger.

Ollie Cromwell said...

Speaking of Balls, look what we did to your book cover.

canvas said...

I think Ed Balls is a BOGUS politician - it's never about the people - it's always about him him and him.

James Purnell has integrity - somethings Ed Balls knows nothing about. I do believe James Purnell will be a major player in the future....

Down with Ed Balls and down with Gordon Brown. Losers.

John Moss said...

Judean Popular Front - Popular Front for the Liberation of Judea.

Ferrets, Sack.

Tories 1990-2004.

Balls' tactics will make the infighting of the Kinnock years look like a Tory ladies' Tuesday coffee morning in Chingford. He will lead a Labour party of 50 MPs in 2015.

Can't wait!

Russell said...

@londonmuslim: a peculiarity of Mr Balls' appearance is his staring eyes, with the white visible all the way round the pupil as if he is suffering from exopthalmia. Maybe he is; I wouldn't know, or care.

This then draws attention to his habit of blinking rapidly while speaking. The more agitated he becomes, the more determined to impose his viewpoint on the assembled company, the faster the blink rate.

Hence "Blinky Balls".

John Moss said...

Russell,

Rapid blinking is a give-away that somebody is lying!

SHB said...

Taking him at face value, Ed Balls believes that Labour is "....clearer and more attuned to the realiities of the modern world than we have been at any time since I joined politics".

Clearly a load of balls and a clear demonstration, if you needed one, of the mans total arrogance.

Russell said...

Clearly a load of balls

I omitted to mention, in my elucidation of the term "Blinky Balls", that while the "Balls" part clearly refers to Mr Balls's bulging eyeBalls, there have been other interpretations of this.

Most remiss of me.

killemallletgodsortemout said...

@John Moss

So, why don't all politicians blink, all of the time?

Barney said...

Didn't Mr Balls work for the Smith Institute before becoming an MP? In his early forties?

Pots and kettles.

Anonymous said...

why isnt he simply referred to by all and sundry as 'Absolute'?