1. “At the BBC, this is what we do...” [click]
2. “And now, over to our correspondent, Richard Bilton...” [click]
3. “You say, we pay...” [click]
4. “West Ham 0 Manchester United 1...” [click]
5. “Hello, and welcome to Vox Politix. My name's Shane Greer...” [click]
6. “And now, in entertainment news...” [click]
7. “And now for our special report on THIS WEEK, it's over to Jade Goody...” [click]
8. “And in a specially extended edition of MY FAMILY...” [click]
9. “Joining us today on the POLITICS SHOW is Des Browne/Jack Straw/Harriet Harman/Ed Balls (delete as appropriate)...” [click]
10. “LibDem leader Sir Menzies Campbell had this to say...” [click]
26 comments:
"And now on the Jeremy Kyle show.."
"And now over to Ainsely Harriott with Ready-Steady-CLICK"
"And now the news with Natasha Kaplinsky.."
Iain: calm down. It's only a Labour Party election.
1 More then 10 seconds of any BBC program.
2 As soon as Dr Aryeh/Lynette Nusbacher 'comes on.'Or whatever he/she does now days.(brave intelligent and honest person though, which is more then can be said for our next PM)
3 As soon as Tony Blair starts to try to look honest.
4 West Ham 1 Man U 0
5 England 43-4
6 Or Australia 470-1
6 Any Kissing
7 Anything about property and houses
8 Anything American except sport or South Park.
9 Any comedy except Little Britain
10 Big Brother.
I didn't like Shane Greer at first because I found his accent grating, but he's very witty and he can certainly think on his feet, and now I'm a fan
Anonymous 8:45 May you rot in hell. Iain, if ever a comment merited deletion, surely this is it.
1)Tony blair
2) Prezza
3) Alisdair Campbell
4) Jim Naughtie
5) Any z list celeb programme
6) any BBC election coverage
7) Match of the day (Fulham are nearly always on as the last game)
8) Eurovision song contest
9) GMTV
10) any TV chef
“Hello, and welcome to Vox Politix. My name’s Shane Greer...” [click]
Now there’s a piece of treachery to rival my recent article (and thanks for the publicity, by the way!) What has poor Shane done to deserve this? Did he drop coffee in your lap? I find his youthful political purity slightly grating, but surely preferable to the deeply entrenched political purity of Donal Blaney. There’s a chance that Shane might yet grow out of it!
The humour of my Shane Greer comment seems to escaped some people. Love him! I call him my Mini Me. He loves it!
I like Donol Blaney! And I like Shane Greer! They both have strong personalities and neither is wishy-washy. I hate wishy-washy people.
1. And now on PM, tory blogger Iain Dale....
2. Welcome to 18 Dou...
I also like that woman from Yorkshire who started speaking in German one evening - didn't catch her name as there was no transparency up - and I like Martine Martin's thinking. And Devil's Kitchen and Dizzy. You have a diverse and articulate team of commenters, Iain.
'If you want to win call...'
' and now Newsnight Review '
' New ITV Drama Starring Ross Kemp/ Robson Green '
1. "the hero is a maverick cop who.."
2. "Newsnight is presented tonight by Kirsty Wark ..."
3. "six celebrities will learn brain surgery in six weeks, prior to being let loose in xxx hospit..."
Any daytime show that has to be bleeped. If it has to be bleeped it shouldn’t be on during the day.
Shows such as Jeremy Kyle are like bloody Morse code.
KERLICK!
And now it's time to return to Ambridge for another ed.....(click)
Now here's Jenni Murray with..(click)
It's four minutes past twelve now and time for You and y....(click)
I can't believe I agree with verity (or words to that effect)!
"Tony Blair has.."
"Tony Blair is.."
"Tony Blair will.."
"Tony Blair today.."
"Tony Blair announced.."
all on Virgin Radio (1m listeners)
Classic FM (1m listeners), and a huge range of radio stations all supplied with news from Sky.
As well as the BBC
The best line is from the Radio 4 Today prog which begins with the words:
"A Report today reveals..."
that the English/British/Americans/West/McDonald's/Christians/Winston Churchill are all racist, fascist C*****.
- BUT
other cultures around the world that have never even discovered the wheel have nevertheless discovered cures for Cancer/Global Warming/MRSA/depression/war/hunger/boredom/....
click
Shane Greer really need his anenoids sorted out. He sounds like an Anglicised Alex Attwoood and that's not good. And what's wrong with Richard Bilton? He's a lovely man. And tall.
I'd rather watch Shane than you, Iain. He's very witty and an accomplished presenter.
Judith - Six celebrities to learn brain surgery in six weeks ... laughed out loud. (I'm too far away for them to practice on me! Ha ha ha! ... Aren't I? What do you mean, 'International Brain Surgery Celebrity Knock-out'?)
When I lived in Britain and had the radio on upstairs, and heard The Archers' theme - was that the name of the everyday story of country know-it-all emotionally intelligent shits who talked in no known accent? - I could actually project myself up the stairs, turn a sharp right on the landing and a sharp left into my office all without touching the floor to turn it off before the theme music had faded and the first actor had drawn a bucolic breath.
I was proud of that.
It was personal.
While I can appreciate your stance on (2) Iain, I would say in RB's defence as someone who was at school with him for seven years he's less of a p***k than he used to be.
Question Time chaired by David/Jonathon Dimbleby
And now over to the weather forecast from (a silly, high pitched giggly women somewhere in the UK who then spends half minute in inane chit chat withe two on the sofa back in the studio before giving a patronising forecast telling us to wrap up etc) - Every morning on BBC Breakfast
Well written article, and I agree entirely. Thank you for your fresh point of view. Keep up the good work.
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