Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Fisking the Chipmunk

My little chipmunk has certainly been busy of late. This morning I received this gushing message on Facebook from Lynne Wells of the Hazel Blears Campaign. I thought it worthy of a light fisk... Mind you, after the last time I fisked, I'm a little hesitant!

Hey all!
Oh dear, not a good start.

There's only a week or so until we'll all be receiving our ballot papers!
I can barely contain myself.

Remember if you're a member of a Trade Union or any other socialist society - you can vote for Hazel more than once!
Whatever happened to that old fashioned concept of one man one vote. Oh, sorry, I forgot. This is the Labour Party we're talking about.

A list of affiliated socialist societies can be found here.
How helpful. Move along now.

I thought you might be interested in this Times article which details Hazel's route to the Cabinet Table. As I am sure you are all aware, Hazel Blears has placed her working-class origins at the heart of her campaign.
Er, yes. Since she waxes lyrical about her bus driver brother at every opportunity...

Hazel was also on Newsnight last night debating alongside the other Deputy Leadership candidates.
Damn, missed it.

It was a very heated debate and Hazel gave a strong performance as usual.
Natch. But not as strong as Alan Johnson from what I hear...

She stressed her belief that the Deputy leader should be a campaigner in chief for the party, as well as a voice for the grassroots at cabinet level.
But not Deputy Prime Minister, eh?

View the debate here Don't forget to vote for Hazel in the online poll!!!
How could we?!


Best wishes,Lynne
I feel positively tired after that. Well done Lynne!
Photo courtesy of James Cridland

58 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHA - this is good stuff IAin.

She looked hilarious behind her lectern yesterday. Especially as she is about 4 foot shorter than Hilary Benn!

James Cridland said...

If you missed the high amusement... (or even low amusement)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamescridland/520584394/

jilted john said...

She is an utter embarrasment to politics in general. Her only goal is "win the next election", she has no policies, no ideas and no chance of winning anything other than "vacuous oddlot of the decade".

Ed said...

I quite like her "aspirational Labour" stance - so much more positive than the politics of envy.

Now all we have to do is persuade the Tories...

Chuck Unsworth said...

Magic! Absolutely bleeding magic!

Why do these people think we all have the brains cells of some form of pond-life? I get totally pissed off by their folksy, touchy-feely, we know best, punitive, proscriptive attitudes and approach.

'Hey all!' indeed...

And why does having a bus-driver as a relative qualify her to run a bus, let alone act as Deputy PM, Leader or even Dog? My mum's a doctor - would you like to entrust yourself to my surgical skills?

Morons!

an animal lover said...

A Hazel would make quite an entertaining pet - wouldn't you say?

Newmania said...

I am rather impressed with her working class origins actually and D Cameron’s Edwardian style narrow band of close colleagues is unimpressive and has lead in the past to catastrophic error, I happened to notice the problem being aired on Andrew Marr`s history of Modern Britain last night discusiing MacMillan . I wonder if he meant to have an oblique snipe at the Conservatives . The Labour Party are equally bad and the whole business of class exclusion is one the Conservatives are making their own or should be . It would be so much more impressive if they had prominent politicians with the common touch . Davies funnily enough does not have it although he should .

I on the other hand do a scintillating cockney sparrow in the Dick Van Dyke mode . Gor blimey guv give us a shadow cabinet post.. Ooo cor lumme `ere come the the quality ...

*scarpers off*

Laurence Boyce said...

They really should have got her a box to stand on. She looked positively comical. The people of this cüntré . . .

Anonymous said...

I think Guido has the best photo:
http://bp2.blogger.com/_EQc_hLHXONE/RlQbJiH69-I/AAAAAAAAAf0/WaXJxvJj3E0/s1600-h/number_twos.jpg

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to say it but "Fisking the Chipmunk" really does sound rather like a euphemism for something.

glass house said...

Worst...Fisking...Ever

I'm not even sure you know what fisking is if you think it's that.

Colin said...

I watched the 'debate' last night - what a pathetic line-up of two-dimensional nobodies the six wannabes were! Not one of them has any fire in their belly, no real political convictions, no ambiton beyond 'winning the next election' which loosely translates as 'making sure i stay in a well-paid job for the next seven years'.

Paxo looked like he was watching paint dry and the qaulity of the questions he put to the 'candidates' was dismal, quite dismal. Mind you some of them did come from a BBC website viewers trawl so what can you expect? It would have been better to have had a panel of people asking the six some sharp questions and not letting get away with so much hot air that I feared for their carbon footprint!

If this is the best thatthe labour Party can put forward then there's hope for us all yet. But I fear for the country governed by the autistic, flawed Brown with a nobody from this line-up as deputy. Brown lies, bullies, defrauds, obfuscates and will be a complete disaster - and none of these 'deputies' will be able to stop him. It's a complete nonsense to have a deputy anyway - look at the weaste of space (and money) that Prescott has been - living proof that it is a total non-job, non-role with plenty of time to brush up your croquet and chat-up lines!

Chuck Unsworth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ChrisC said...

At least Blears has some kind of life about her.

Was Johnson that good - as many seem to be saying?

Reactionary Snob said...

I liveblogged it last night. What a little hag.

RS

James Graham said...

"At least Blears has some kind of life about her."

It's life, Jim, but not as we know it. She made my blood chill last night, especially when she started blathering on about 'balancing security and liberty' in that chippy voice of her's. Brr!

I do love the Labour concept of democracy. You can have as many votes as organisations you can afford to join. And then they try to make a virtue out of it!

Chris Paul said...

Sadly that's not a fisk or a frisk, perhaps it's a fish?

Anonymous said...

Well said Glass House.

"A really stylish fisking is witty, logical, sarcastic and ruthlessly factual; flaming or handwaving is considered poor form", wikipedia tell us.

Put those hands down Mr Dale - such inane commentary lets down an otherwise intelligent and articulate blog and should be beneath you.

Another Ed said...

Hands up all those who misread the headline and thought for a minute they'd gone to a 'different' kind of site?

Ross F said...

I must admit before Newsnight yesterday I had no idea just how tiny she is. She's a hobbit, albeit a hobbit with some rather authoritarian tendencies.

Confused of South Yorks said...

Iain, could I suggest that you check the definition of "fisking" as that was by no stretch of the imagination fisking the original. The closest you came was with your "Whatever happened to that old fashioned concept of one man one vote." comment. The rest was just snide and sarcastic commentary.

D- Must try harder

skipper said...

Agree Hazel looked dwarfish beside Benn but she didn't even impress with her answers. Johnson and Benn were the stand-outs I thought, though Cruddas must have appealed to grass-roots.

Anonymous said...

I too was at University with Lynne Wells and, while Iain is well within his rights to address *political* points in his post, commenters anonymously attacking volunteers on a deputy leadership campaign is completely out of order.

It's rather cowardly to resort to the comments section of a blog to post attacks about someone you probably had very little contact with.

Anonymous said...

Newmania said... 12:06 PM

Quote: ...D Cameron’s Edwardian style narrow band of close colleagues is unimpressive and has lead in the past to catastrophic error, I happened to notice the problem being aired on Andrew Marr`s history of Modern Britain last night discusiing MacMillan .


Yes, I noticed that as well. Cameron's attitudes are increasingly grating with me.

Iain Dale said...

Anonymous at 2.48. I have deleted those posts. Sorry I didn't spot them before.

Anonymous said...

Did you notice how narrow the age range of the candidates was (middle 50s) with the exception of Cruddas (45).

Interesting that they were (nearly)all educated in the age of free University education. A thing they are quite happy to deny to the current generation.

All in all they were a 'much of a muchness' - no great star standing out. But then again Gordon would not like a rival would he?

Anonymous said...

Now, how about fisking Osborne

Anonymous said...

If nothing else I think you may have invented a new catchphrase." Fisking the Chipmunk, " has a certain ring to it, and is surely a euphemism for something.

I apologise if I may have given a touch of the vapours to any old maids who sometimes visit this site.

achilles said...

I went to public school and university and then worked in the City for 10 years. But I'm now looking for a new job. If I became a bus driver (not badly paid in London), does that mean I would become working class?

Anonymous said...

at least labour members, trade unionists and socialist society members get to vote for a labour candidate.

no greg dyke lib dem/tory grey goop forced down members throats.

Theo Spark said...

Am I the only one who fancies the chipmunk. She has a certain something, especially compared to Harman the ice queen.

BaldockBaldrick said...

Isn't fisking supposed to be constructive? Anyone can follow your lead with this Iain...

My little chipmunk has certainly been busy of late.
(Little chipmunk, how hilarious, hahahaha).

This morning I received this gushing message on Facebook from Lynne Wells of the Hazel Blears Campaign.
(You were on Facebook this morning, do you ever get out? haha, look at me being funny)

See what I mean? Even as a light fisk it's pretty pointless.

Newmania said...

Cough.... Achilles

"You'll never live like common people,
you'll never do what common people do,
you'll never fail like common people,
you'll never watch your life slide out of view,
and dance and drink and screw,
because there's nothing else to do."



errrrm no

Anonymous said...

Did anyone hear the cons economic chipmunk on Today?
How sad can you get.

Newmania said...

http://sexy-witch.blogspot.com/2006/07/marina-baker.html

Marina Pepper of Lewes Coucil and lately Pseuds Corner( ...being the Change) gets my vote as most fanciable political woman. On the flimsy pretext of Theo Sparks post

Mindless sexist bigot said...

Johnson wasn't that good on Newsnight. He's still in major doo-doo for insulting about 100,000 state school teachers last week.

Come to think of it he'd be a FANTASTIC asset for the Tories.

Anonymous said...

mindless.The Tories are knee deep at the moment in "assets" of a similar description.

Anonymous said...

just imagine peter hain as dpm, then gordon brown is taken ill.
The country is bathed in hain's orange tan. Surely the queen would then step in? Wouldn't she?

Anonymous said...

It may be it's the "Bullingdon Boys" that have to be stepped on.

Anonymous said...

theo spark:3.44.

She's perfect for the over 50's blogger.

Charlotte Corday said...

I nodded off while watching the "Newnight" debate (I think Hilary Benn was speaking at the time)but from what I saw of it, I didn't think Alan Johnson came over that well - he rather fluffed his obviously pre-scripted Robin to Gordon's Batman gag.
I'm tired of the "heightism" on this board. Lay off the chipmunk -at least she makes me laugh.
Have a go at Johnson instead; I'm glad to see that Sean T on the politicalbetting site has rumbled Johnson as a spiv.

Eddie Pringle said...

At least the message showed that its sender, and the campaign, are doing their best to be positive about politics and engage with the party's electorate. You didn't "fisk" and find logical inconsistencies - you picked on a poor activist because, in your jaded and cynical way, you didn't like her upbeat tone. Forshame, Iain. Forshame.

Susanne said...

Say what you all like I still hope she gets selected.

She's keep Brown on his toes that's for sure.

Anonymous said...

on the ultra-right Labour blog by Luke Akehurst he's become so frenzied in his fear that Blears might not win that he's taken to arguing that because Ken Livingstone is backing Jon Cruddas that alone is a good enough reason not to have him as Labour deputy leader. He even seems to be calling Ken Livingstone a 'flat-earther'. (see the story '4 reasons not to vote Cruddas.')

Akehurst is a Labour councillor in Hackney! Not very loyal, Luke.

http://lukeakehurst.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

"She's keep Brown on his toes that's for sure."

Surely she'd have to be right up on her own toes to give Gordon any pleasure?

Anonymous said...

"she is about 4 foot shorter than Hilary Benn! "

If Haze wrapped her legs around Alan Johnson's neck they might just overcome Hilary of Harriet.

Anonymous said...

charlotte corday:5.09.

Heightism? I love her for the fact that she is 4 foot nothing!

Anonymous said...

As Dame Edna would say:

"Hazel, my little darling,(Can I call you 'Haze'? - you remind me so much of the mist around Norman when we honeymooned at Ayers Rock. Y'know you'd go down real well in the Northern Territories without ever being brought to your knees by the opposition."

"I could just see you giving a little orange landing-strip perfomance in the back of beyond as you climbed down from the chopper: the sort the ladies of Melbourne could curl their perms to. Not too sure, mind, how you'd go down on Sydney's Bondi, but then there's no accounting for tastes even in Australia..."

Of course it's a shame that you are standing.. you are standing aren't you dearie?.. for that Labour Party. I asked Norm who you'd be standing for in Australia and he said "FerGough Whitlam" at least I think that's what he said because he was talking very quickly at the time..."

"You gave a real spunky performance last night, you ginger little chippper you. I can't inmagine anyone else but you serving under Gordon Brown, I know you'll sort out his number two spot like nobody else could and make all those Lords come clean with their all their money. And I mean that most sincerely ladies and gentlemen. . ."

"Anyway give my love to Cherrree now won't you dear and remember to tell her I'm really sorry about Peter's Fosters. . . that's Mandelson's Con man if you didn't know boys and girls. . .That PERKY little Reinaldo you know he plays so well for your Manchester United - what a wonderful little manager that Fergie's son is isn't he ladies and gentlemen? Pity the rest of the Royal family can't handle the round balls as in such a spectacular manner. But they are still a spunky little pair aren't they? I mean, anyone who has such a busy military career and still finds time so much time to slip into Chelsea or sink a few in Kensington... it's what we need, ladies, isn't it? Leading from the front we call it back here. And where there's a Will there's a way to be coming from behind, Harry dear... remember that."

"And finally. . . just before I leave you, remember boys and girls. . . if Carlsberg made prime ministers they wouldn't leave you with watered down wimp bitter like Camerons."

Anonymous said...

The Chipmunk was great - when I could see her peering over the lectern that is. Such an outlook reminded me of grass blowing in the wind - changes direction to suit the prevailing gust.

Only Harriet could say 'sorry' for the Iraq mess - something that evidently would take Hell freezing over for Hain to do.

Cruddas seemed the best of a mediocre bunch - and even he did not seem fully there when it came to saying who was going to pay for his 'vision'.

But then with Kami-kaze Cameron in full flow I suppose most people are distracted by the sight of his 'spin' world unravelling before their very eyes.

Peter from Putney said...

Until last night, I had no idea of just how tiny Hazel Blears is - it would have been fairer to have had them seated at a table and positioning her next to Benn was just cruel.
We have to assume that her bus-driving brother is able to reach the pedals and to peer over the steering wheel, certainly Hazel would be unable to do either.

Chuck Unsworth said...

Anonymous May 30, 2007 2:48 PM said...
"I too was at University with Lynne Wells and, while Iain is well within his rights to address *political* points in his post, commenters anonymously attacking volunteers on a deputy leadership campaign is completely out of order.

It's rather cowardly to resort to the comments section of a blog to post attacks about someone you probably had very little contact with."

OK Anonymous. Why should your anonymous comment bear any more weight?

As to attacks about (or is that 'on') 'someone you probably had very little contact with', how would you know?

This is merely an attempt to close down comment. Why do you think you should set an agenda? That is 'completely out of order'.

I'm perfectly happy for Iain to publish or not. What ticks me off is when anonymous commenters bellyache about things being 'sooo unfair!'.

You seem to believe that in order for anyone to comment they should have had contact with the person they are writing about. OK then, tell us how much 'contact' is necessary, what form it should take, over what period of time, under what circumstances.

Your position is completely untenable.

mens sana said...

well she certainly is very small

On a serious note, would anyone have predicted 10 years ago that a group of 6 senior labour party figures would all support the building of a new generation of nuclear power stations and all but 1 (or was it 2) support retention of Trident. you have to admit they have come a long way. You equally have to ask if they are reflecting the views of the membership

Anonymous said...

ChrisC said...

At least Blears has some kind of life about her.


Yes, pond life, she has the brain of a newly hatched tadpole.

Snedds said...

It's One MEMBER One Vote Iain, we've not gone for that whole gender specific stuff, it's not a precondition of going far on this side of the House.

Oh, and as one member of a Union, of a Constituency Labour Party and of a Socialist Society, I get three votes. Thats what OMOV is about - it was a big thing about a decade ago, I'm surprised you missed it.

Chuck Unsworth said...

So, Snedds, OMOV, eh?

Is that one male member?

Are you a male member?

Graeme said...

I can't see a mention of the honourable Luke Akehurst of this (Hackney) parish without advertising a link to his 'real' blog ... a work of genius from, I think, Someone In Hackney Labour (positively the only time I will make such a comment). Worth a visit.

PS Jon Cruddas for deputy.

Anonymous said...

Why was Hazel the only one sitting down?