Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Unfunny Joke No 94

A Brummie goes for a job interview wearing a polyester shirt, bright flares and big boots.The interviewer says "All you need now is a kipper tie."The Brummie replies, "That would be love-lay, two sugars, ploise.”

20 comments:

Expat (and former brummie) said...

Scientists are using bloggers rather than rats for experiments - three reasons - (i) there are more bloggers than rats in the UK, (ii) the scientists become less attached to the bloggers than to the rats, and (iii) there are some things even rats won't do for free publicity.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps, I have no sense of humour. I thought it funny enough to laugh out loud, then another laugh, and a final laugh.

mark williams said...

Slow news day?

Praguetory said...

I need to dig out an old book for you Iain. It's called Book of Brum which helps outsiders with Brummie. One phrase I recall is mekyaselfatum

rallies said...

The Ferrari F1 fired their entire pit crew yesterday. This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's "Work for the Dole" scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters. The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech equipment. It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by Ferrari Management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.....

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for! At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 5.8 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the McLaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Coulthard's girl-friend in the shower.

Tom Tyler said...

Tony Blair to Brummie party donor: "Thanks for that dona- , errm, I mean 'loan'. I'll make you a peer, now"
Donor: "Aw, busting! I'll have some ice with it, please!"

Anonymous said...

The old ones are the best ones.

Anonymous said...

I love the phonetic spelling of 'ploise'- it takes me back to Birmingham

Johnny Norfolk said...

Thanks Iain I just told it to my wife and she is not speaking to me now.

So a result then. !!!

Odessa Calling said...

Still its better than having to listen to him crow about West Ham, though they did do Chelsea a favour on Sunday.

Newmania said...

I don`t feel much like laughing at the moment but this nearly did the trick.

Dr. Fell said...

There may be trouble in Paymaster General 'Red' Dawn Primarolo's house this Xmas: Dawn's husband Ian Ducat is Regional Secretary of Unison. In Bristol there is a growing dispute between the local trust and Unison over pay and conditions. An ambulance strike over the Christmas period in Bristol is now being mooted by Unison and Ian has appeared on local tv crying foul.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bristol/6194431.stm

A spokeswoman for Great Western Ambulance Service said: "We remain committed to resolving any dispute with our unions promptly and openly.

"We are therefore deeply disappointed that despite constructive, face-to-face talks with Unison where agreement was reached on seven out of the 10 issues raised, that the union intends to carry out strike action.

Who will Red Dawn side with? Her constituency is in Bristol South.

Some cruel people are suggesting that Dawn will do a 'Jowell' on Ian if the strike proceeds. Dawn has never been one to put principle before personal advantage.

Dr. Fell said...

There may be trouble in Paymaster General 'Red' Dawn Primarolo's house this Xmas: Dawn's husband Ian Ducat is Regional Secretary of Unison. In Bristol there is a growing dispute between the local trust and Unison over pay and conditions. An ambulance strike over the Christmas period in Bristol is now being mooted by Unison and Ian has appeared on local tv crying foul.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bristol/6194431.stm

A spokeswoman for Great Western Ambulance Service said: "We remain committed to resolving any dispute with our unions promptly and openly.

"We are therefore deeply disappointed that despite constructive, face-to-face talks with Unison where agreement was reached on seven out of the 10 issues raised, that the union intends to carry out strike action.

Who will Red Dawn side with? Her constituency is in Bristol South.

Some cruel people are suggesting that Dawn will do a 'Jowell' on Ian if the strike proceeds. Dawn has never been one to put principle before personal advantage.

Ted said...

Iain - have you seen what Theo Spark has done to you!
http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=26500655a1ee194d9c7993eG06121900

Teri said...

Rallies - that was truly funny. We raise kids well in these parts.Lol

BJ said...

No 95:

How do you titillate an ocelot?
Oscillate its tit a lot.

Andrew Kennedy said...

Bang goes any chance of Solihull !

Anonymous said...

i thought that was an ok joke!!!!

Blairs Bribes Bungs Backhanders said...

At election time,a man thinks to himself: 'Just once I'd like to see a politician in a stressfull situation having the guts to tell the truth.' His wish is granted.In a vision he sees a tied up Blair confessing to his dominatrix:'I've been a bad,bad boy.'

Pogo said...

As a Brummie, my favourite "in" brummie joke (if that could be possible) is "What's the difference between a Buffalo and a Bison? That's aysey, yo cor wosh yer ands in a Buffalo!".