Sunday, July 27, 2008

Secret Gordon Brown Memo Revealed

I've just been leaked a secret memo in Gordon Brown's own handwriting. Headed "Post Crewe & Nantwich Henley Glasgow East 'To Do' List", it reads...

1. Smash mobile phone
2. Chew fingernails
3. Blame global economy
4. Listen to what people are saying
5. Take difficult decisions
6. Get on with job
7. Er, that's it.

20 comments:

Slim Jim said...

It was interesting to listen to Harminger on the Andrew Marr show. During her interview with Huw Edwards, she said that GB gets asked for economic advice from lots of world leaders. That would explain the 'global economic turbulence' then...

john miller said...

Isn't number 7 in fact number one and isn't it in someone else's handwriting?

simon said...

You missed one iain:-'To stay in power until i get told to f'k off back to Scotland by the electorate.'

Anonymous said...

Good to hear that you went to see Alan Duncan becoming an 'honest man', something he should have done years ago - it is vitol to show one's support on these occasions to help oil the wheels of friendship with all the family.

Howard said...

Straw will move against Brown at the end of August after the Olympics. The UK can hardly not have a PM at the closing ceremony when it is hosting the next one.

Anonymous said...

Re Number 5. Gordon Brown make a decision???? you are having a laugh old boy. Expect many more months of dithering!

Andy said...

At least he's stopped picking his nose!

javelin said...

Don't you have a scanner?

Anonymous said...

Keep him and their out by landslide, replace him and they are out by an even bigger landslide!.

Who would they replace the Jock with?, the Man of Straw?, Hazel Blears?, Peter Hain?, Douglas Alexander?, David the Marxist Miliband?, Harriet Harman?, TONY BLIAR???, these are all dangerously inept and abysmal clueless communist traitorous morons,

McLabour you are finished, this is the last days of the Scottish Raj.

Anonymous said...

forgot "pick nose and eat it/them" !

strapworld said...

Stop Press another memo found!

From the Great Leader’s Office.
Bunker 1. 10, Downing Street.

25 July 2008.

To all Loyal friends and colleagues,


Have strength my dear one’s, the troubled times will soon be over and I will be praised, by all, for my brilliance in bringing us all out of the global downturn, by making those big decisions and by having the right policies for this Country.

Whilst many have ‘lost their heads’ I will keep cool. I will not rush to judgement and damn those that are being unkind to me. Those that stay loyal know that I am generous. Baroness Toynbee,Lord Dacre, Baron Maguire and Sir Michael White have my undying appreciation.

Whilst I am away with my lovely family I want you all to be alert and ensure that Harriet, whilst getting all the information she requires, does not get all the information!

If Darling turns up for advice suggest he reads the Conservative Party websites for inspiration. I have found both Iain Dale’s and Guido Fawkes’ sites exceptionally good ones for new and fresh idea’s.

I will come back refreshed and ready to give my leadership a new direction. Retirement!


Your Great Leader.

G.Brown (Probably the greatest Chancellor of the Exchequer EVER!)

Anonymous said...

Howard said...
Straw will move against Brown at the end of August after the Olympics.

Is Brown taking place in the Relay?

What is his best event?

Man in a Shed said...

We're going to miss him when he's gone ! ( At least the Tories will ! )

Anonymous said...

8: I will be working hard for "the country".

"The country" = ENGLAND, but the anti-English communist Scot cant even bear to mention the "E" word.

Broon You have NO MANDATE in England, and you are NOT wanted in England!, go back to the Scotch EU Region and be leader there, oh yeah thats right they already have their OWN "Government", "Parliament" (EU Regional assembly) and "Prime Minister" dont they!!!!!.

Bill Quango MP said...

1] Smash 'Wee Wendy' picture mug
2] Chew out Stephen Carter
3] Blame everyone else
4] Stick fingers in ears
5] Take dog for walk
6] Get on with 'The Mail'
7] er, that's it

Anonymous said...

"Getting on with the Job"

Translation:

Signing England's sovereignty over to a foreign power, the EU.

http://www.abload.de/img/broonsjobfinallyyxd.jpg

http://www.abload.de/img/rajcnesbittbfy.jpg

Anonymous said...

THE CABINET WHICH WOULD TRANSFORM THE LABOUR GOVERNMENT
FROM LOSER TO WINNER!!

Prime Minister. Alan Milburn.
Chancellor of the Exchequer. Charles Clarke.
Foreign Secretary. John Reid (Dr).
Justice/Lord Chancellor. Mike O’Brien.
Home Secretary. Alan Johnson
Defence Secretary. John Denham.
Health Secretary. John Hutton.
Environment.F/R Affairs. Hilary Benn.
International Development. Margaret Beckett.
Business/Enterprise/Regulatory Secretary. James Purnell.
Transport Secretary. David Blunkett.
Communities and Local Government. Shaun Woodward.
Work and Pensions. Frank Fields.
Children/Schools/Families. Andy Burnham.
Leader of the House. Harriet Harman.
Parliamentary Secretary to the Treasury/Chief Whip. Max Mosley.
Secretary for Wales/Scotland/Northern Ireland. Hazel Blears.
Secretary for Culture/Media and Sport . Dr. Kim Howells.
Chief Secretary to the Treasury. Shahid Malik.

Anonymous said...

Re: At July 27, 2008 2:13 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

THE CABINET WHICH WOULD TRANSFORM THE LABOUR GOVERNMENT
FROM LOSER TO WINNER!!

Prime Minister. Alan Milburn.
Chancellor of the Exchequer. Charles Clarke.
Foreign Secretary. John Reid (Dr).
Justice/Lord Chancellor. Mike O’Brien.
Home Secretary. Alan Johnson
Defence Secretary. John Denham.
Health Secretary. John Hutton.
Environment.F/R Affairs. Hilary Benn.
International Development. Margaret Beckett.
Business/Enterprise/Regulatory Secretary. James Purnell.
Transport Secretary. David Blunkett.
Communities and Local Government. Shaun Woodward.
Work and Pensions. Frank Fields.
Children/Schools/Families. Andy Burnham.
Leader of the House. Harriet Harman.
Parliamentary Secretary to the Treasury/Chief Whip. Max Mosley.
Secretary for Wales/Scotland/Northern Ireland. Hazel Blears.
Secretary for Culture/Media and Sport . Dr. Kim Howells.
Chief Secretary to the Treasury. Shahid Malik.
---------------------
Are you on prescription medication????????.

Unbelievable.

Anonymous said...

In answer to the question.

Yes..prozac.

but that doesn't make me a bad person. Just slightly confused!

Auntie Flo' said...

You forgot number 8:

Hide from the:

DON'T FlOOD SOUTHWOLD, GORDO!

demo in Southwold on Wednesday.