Tuesday, July 15, 2008

How to P*** Off Lobby Journalists Part 94

Remember how Gordon Brown achieved the impossible last October when he managed to alienate the print lobby by not taking any of them to Basra, and then alienate the broadcast lobby by giving the election exclusive to Andrew Marr? Well, I am told he's about to make history repeat itself.

This weekend the PM embarks on a four day trip to the Middle East, which involves two overnight flights. The Sunday lobby have been told they will be dumped in Kuwait and will have to make their own way home. And the rest have been told they will have to decamp in Israel on Monday and make their own way home from there. The rumour is that the PM's plane will be full of frightfully important business people, although I have to admit I haven't been able to verify that.

Her Majesty's Press is by no means amused. It would never have happened under Tony, seems to be the popular view. They are already speculating about the kind of plane they will have to endure on this trip. Those with gallows humour have laid bets on a World War II Dakota.

37 comments:

bj said...

Can't imagine Special Branch will be too pleased by your revealing the PM's movements in advance. Even in rather vague terms as you have done....

Harry Basset said...

Broon is unworthy to fly in a WW2 Dakota, they carried men of courage. Also the EU have put a stop to the carriage of passengers in Dakotas.

Anonymous said...

This has shades of the Obama coc*-up of a similar nature...

http://blogs.suntimes.com/sweet/2008/06/news_organizations_complain_ab.html

Of course, John McCain is rumoured to be thinking of adopting a strategy of dumping the travelling press corps altogether - one wonders why ?

Anonymous said...

bj said...
Can't imagine Special Branch will be too pleased by your revealing the PM's movements in advance. Even in rather vague terms as you have done....


Brilliant!!

Anonymous said...

Brown seems to like spending his weekends travelling - Saudi Arabia a few weeks ago to increase world oil production, G8 last weekend: no wonder he looks knackered the whole time.

wrinkled weasel said...

Since Neu Labour have cancelled the replacement for The Royal Yacht, and have no plans for a Prime Ministerial/Head of State aircraft, I expect we shall see them on Easy Jet anytime now.

Even tin pot dictators have their own 747s. God. What a crappy cut-price country this is turning into.

New Labour has become a byword for lowestcommondenominatorism. It's symbolic colour is no longer red. It is beige.

Zeddy said...

Oh the poor poor darlings.

I suggest that the lobby puts its collective foot down and refuses to attend any more of Gordon's events.

Not only would it show Gordon that they won't be messed with, it'd save the rest of us from journalism which exists to enable politicians to anonymously stab each other in the back.

Can anyone give me 3 reasons why the lobby pack shouldn't be disbanded and told to do some proper work? 3 ways in which they contribute to national well-being?

Clive said...

where is the plane from this time Russia? The last two junkets were in a French and an American plane.

British planes not being good enough for the Clunking Fist it seems.

Anonymous said...

Do I care that the biased press are P***** Off?

Do the majority of people who read your blog? I doubt it!

Perhaps it would be fun if they were all kitted out with parachute's and thrown out over Afghanistan.

Now, it would be far different if it involved you dear Iain!

Zeddy said...

***Can't imagine Special Branch will be too pleased by your revealing the PM's movements in advance. Even in rather vague terms as you have done....***

I suspect that Special Branch have already worked out that no terrorists wanting to spread despair and suffering in the UK would dream of killing Gordon Brown.

the_beekeeper said...

happy birthday!!!!

Rog said...

Unlikely to be a Dakota Iain...

Vintage planes permanently grounded.

Bloody ludicrous, and not a thing we can do about it.

Yet another reason why we'd be MUCH better off out.

Newmania said...

I wonder Iain if the personal attacks on Broon have gone too far. John Major’s (superb) interview , on shagger Marr, was a powerful critique of Brown precisely because he avoided the knock about stuff even expressing some sympathy for a PM lashed by the Press...( ok reasons for this clear I know ). How I wish this tremendously sane voice was more in evidence
Anyway the Press at this point have their blood up and their story , why would he cooperate ? His bogey eating awkwardness is , in my view , preferable to Mazola Blair and irrelevant to the fortunes of the country

Time to be lofty and statesmanlike for a bit perhaps ?

David Boothroyd said...

Surely no professional journalist would allow a perceived personal slight or inconvenience to affect their neutral reportage of important political developments? Surely only a base and corrupt profession characterised by irresponsibility, self-deception, solipsism and selfishness would stoop to such levels?

(PS People queue up for the privilege of flying in a Dakota, and quite right too, it's a marvellous aircraft)

hatfield girl said...

An infinitely elegant, hand-crafted Comet is the thing to fly in.

Paul Linford said...

Surely no professional journalist would allow a perceived personal slight or inconvenience to affect their neutral reportage of important political developments?

Remember the opening night of the Millennium Dome, David? National newspaper editors and their wags forced to queue at train stations in the rain? The reputation of New Labour never quite recovered.

judith said...

Why on earth would they bother to go in the first place?

McBroon will drone out the same old, same old, nobody is interested since he is completely ineffective - why don't the bloody journos (BBC included) stick to their own mantra of not using planes etc 'coz of global warming, innit, then they can just sneer at the No 10 press releases.

Uncle Roger said...

to Hatfield Girl,

Ah, De Havilland!

Lola said...

Why the bloody hell take them anyway. Stick him in a Hercules with some squaddies on the way to a tour of duty in Iraq. He might just learn something.

David Boothroyd said...

Paul, it's a rare day you've left your irony detector off.

Anonymous said...

...An infinitely elegant, hand-crafted Comet is the thing to fly in.

The converted Comets into Nimrods - those jets the RAF is still flying 40 or 50 years later and have a habit of blowing up by themselves!

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Dakotas have been banned by the Elfunsayftee mob. They have some sharp edges, lots of rivets and the cockpit door is made of tin, so ragheads can burst in. Hence it's demise.

I just hope that Shidas Touch Brown wishes all the journalists a safer onward journey.

Anonymous said...

Oh those poor lobby correspondents. For once Brown's done the decent thing and treated them like the lying scum they are.

Having witnessed how they operate first hand (basically agreeing a common line across all papers to cover their own backs and appease their own egos), I can't help but think it would be better if he dumped the parasites in Iraq rather than Kuwait.

Anonymous said...

May I recommend to our great leader, the man of courage and fortitude. R101.

An Airship would be the ideal craft for this man of wind!

Good reading. 'Sliderule' by Neville Shute. the great man worked on the R100 which was a resounding success (mainly because it was built by private enterprise and the R101 was a nationalised effort!

So it is the R101 for Brown.

Astro-Turf Lawnmower said...

I flew in a Dakota last month, beating the EU legislation which grounds such aircraft by a few weeks.

Still here to tell the tale, having had a wonderful flight over the Bristol Channel. Can you hear me Eurocrats, I flew on a Dakota last month and am still alive!

Broon's Talking Bawgie said...

Endorse the Nevil Shute book about R100 and the council version, R101.

The funniest thing about the R101 was that when the council "finished" it, it basically didn't fly because it was too heavy. So the council cut it into two, welded another section into it, then welded it back together.

You can actually see that cut 'n' shut job, I believe, in this wikipedia photo:-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airship_R101

It's laughable really - the only reason the thing was the biggest airship of the day was because they didn't build it properly.

neil craig said...

Any politico who can gratuitously piss of so many journalists can't be all bad. As you said it wouldn't have happened under Tony.

Anonymous said...

P**sing off lobby journalists might be bad tactics for a politician, but it's a damn fine thing to do in the wider scheme of things.
They print press releases and allow themselves to be manipulated by scheming ministers briefing against colleagues.
While not as worthy of robust disrespect as politicians themselves are, the professional welfare and self-esteem of lobby journalists is unimportant and is no concern of mine.

Iain, please give other tips on how they can be p**sed off.

Kevyn Bodman

Anonymous said...

Come on Ian, I care sod all from Brown and will dance in the streets come May 2010 when Dave has to start sorting this mess out. But why should the lobby journalists not fly on a scheduled flight now and again ? - it may just make them remember how us plebs have to travel and the business men taking "their" places may just sell stuff abroad, employ more plebs and pay S***loads more tax - considerably more use to UK PLC than a load of media types.

Alcuin said...

Why can't the press (particularly the BBC and the Graun) decamp in Gaza instead of Israel. After all, it's a democracy, isn't it, and they keep telling us what nice people live there and what horrid people live in Israel.

Unsworth said...

"How to P*** Off Lobby Journalists Part 94"

Most of them should be p****d on...

Unsworth said...

"How to P*** Off Lobby Journalists Part 94"

Most of them should be p****d on...

Anonymous said...

zeddy - this is the funniest thing I've read all day !!

Newmania - You have made a point well expressed elsewhere that when even John Major is feeling sorry for the way you are running the country, the exit door cannot be far away...

But let us please hope that the Tories see sense and go up to Glasgae' and persuade enough voters not to vote for the SNP so that Gordon is not ditched, JUST YET.. and within a few short months it will be so close to the General Election that they will have to stick with him to the bitter end..

Anonymous said...

For once I have to say WELL DONE GORDON.

I am absolutely p*ss6d off with journalists being taken everywhere that the PM goes at the taxpayer's expense.

Icarus said...

A Dakota (DC-3)has been flying over us in Lutterworth - from Coventry airport for the last few days.

Lithgo said...

Oh they should lighten up, theres no persecution here. What do they expect, to be chauffer driven and pandered to at the tax payers expense?

If thats what they want they should have gotten into politics.

Anonymous said...

"I am absolutely p*ss6d off with journalists being taken everywhere that the PM goes at the taxpayer's expense."

They rarely go free. They do have to pay something. I think it might be the equivalent tourist class fare on a commercial flight.