Tuesday, August 01, 2006

EXCLUSIVE: Blair Ditches Promise To Quit

Tony Blair, following John Howard the Australian Prime Minister’s lead, will be writing to all his parliamentary colleagues next month declaring he intends to stay on as Prime Minister and Labour leader and fight the next general election campaign.

The Prime Minister spoke to his deputy John Prescott yesterday before deciding to send out the letters. Mr Blair was also trying to speak directly to the other members of the Cabinet..
After heading to speak to News International Executives and to stay with friend Rupert Murdoch, who has promised to put the backing of his news empire behind Blair’s decision, I can reveal that senior colleagues were urging Mr.Blair to take this decision some weeks ago and are overjoyed that he has clarified his future.

Stephen Byers, a close ally of Mt Blair, said: “This decision will please everyone who has the interest of our great country at heart. Tony is a proven leader whose vision has done this country proud. I am sure he will go on and win the next two or three general elections. The people love him.” Sky's Adam Boulton this morning revealed that Mr Blair had begun informing colleagues. The Prime Minister’s office would not confirm the report but said Mr Blair would have something to say on the matter when he arrived home from his holidays at the beginning od September. The Prime Minister's decision will put pressure on Gordon Brown, who just yesterday was indicating how keen he is for the top job. "Inside every MP is a glorious prime ministership waiting to get out, if only they're given the chance," he said at a launch of a novel by friend and best seller Michael Crichton.

Most Labour MPs will be relieved to hear that the Prime Minister is staying on. Liberal Democrat leader Menzies Campbell says having Mr Blair lead the Labour Party into the next election is his preferred outcome as he would far prefer helping out a Blair hung parliament than David Cameron. "Having Tony Blair as Prime Minister, Vince Cable as Chancellor and me as Foreign Secretary will probably be the best alignment that the country's ever seen," he said.

Ming Campbell is 94. More HERE.


PS Just my bit of fun on a rather boring day (with thanks to Strapworld!)

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

Probably the best thing for the country, given the lame and tired alternatives in Labour.

All we need now is for a real political party to appear on the scene, with politicians who have opinions and principles and are not afraid of being who they are, warts'n'all.

Theo Spark said...

Cherie refuses to give up the 'Good Life'!

Anonymous said...

Presumably the great country Byers mentions is Scotland as the McMafia are systematically dismantling the UK?

Anonymous said...

is this for real? If so it'll surely increase the likelyhood of a Tory (proper Tory, not Nu-Lab tory) win at the next general election.
Can't see anything on Sky news's website about it though.

Prodicus said...

Blimey - this is a scoop. It's not on any other political news feed yet. Congratulations.

Anonymous said...

yes Nick, And Ming really is 94! Oh hang on!

Iain Dale said...

Oh my God, I can't believe you all think this is true. Did you not see this at the bottom of the story...

PS Just my bit of fun on a rather boring day (with thanks to Strapworld!)

Mind you, it says something about your views of Blair that you think it COULD be true!!!

Anonymous said...

God help us now!

Anonymous said...

please tell me that some of these comments are tongue in cheek (like the article)

Anonymous said...

Iain you should not suggest such a thing even in jest. The frigging idiot is likely to pick up the idea and run with it!!

You'll have some compensation to pay out if anyone commits suicide over this.

Anonymous said...

Good job it's a wind up, I don't know which is worse. Having that chronic and habitual liar grinning at me from the television and newspapers, or that ghastly apparition of a gargoyle he's married to.

Anonymous said...

Laugh Iain :):):)

He blogs, he scores!

*grin*

Anonymous said...

I was a bit surprised you felt the need to add the 'PS', Iain, until I saw how many contributors seem to have been taken in despite it.

Anonymous said...

And thank you Strapworld, I hope all your runner beans fall off! :-)

Anonymous said...

Nearly spat my coffee out reading that!

I'll admit I did give it credance until about halfway through - and you're right, it does speak volumes concerning the general opinion of Blair.

Could almost imagine Gordo marching next door with a baseball bat.

Anonymous said...

"Stephen Byers, a close ally of Mt Blair"

Mount Blair? is this some strange exortion to unnatural exercise, the meaning of which we should consult Carol Caplin about? Or is it a Murdoch-sponsored Rushmore replacement planned for Wyoming to be built by the guys who are 'spare' from the Wembley Stadium job?

Anonymous said...

Jimbo, if you want to check out the tongue-in-cheek aspects, you should contact the press spokespersons of Byers, Milburn or mandelson.

Anonymous said...

Latest from FTSE - share prices in cyanide manufacturing companies rocketed at midday, no explanation why yet!

Prodicus said...

You rotter ;-) I nearly broke out the champers at the thought of all the fun to come.

Anonymous said...

Rog said...
Nearly spat my coffee out reading that!

I'll admit I did give it credance until about halfway through - and you're right, it does speak volumes concerning the general opinion of Blair.

Could almost imagine Gordo marching next door with a baseball bat.

He hasn't got the balls!

stalin's gran said...

Trouble is, Iain, it IS entirely believable

Paul Linford said...

You Tories would love it if this were true, wouldn't you?

Anonymous said...

Paul Linford said...
You Tories would love it if this were true, wouldn't you?

2:33 PM

Yes Paul, but just imagine how Real Labour supporters would feel - 'Devastated', springs to mind!

Anonymous said...

Iain,tut tut!

Paul Linford said...

Absolutely, Sammy, but that's why the Tories would love it.

If Blair really had done a John Howard, there would probably be three leadership challenges up and running by now already - Brown, McDonnell, and probably Hain ("there won't be a next time under you") as well. Cue absolute carnage before Blair is forced out Thatcher style, Brown struggles and fails to unite hopelessly divided party, and Cameron strides to victory at next election with 100-plus majority.

No laughing matter, is it?

Peter from Putney said...

Well Iain, joke or otherwise, you succeeded in moving the odds on Betfair's "Blair Switch" market for about 20 minutes!

Anonymous said...

I wish it was true. Anything to save us from Gordies Raj and the Dave factor. He would bury Labour forever as an electoral entity, by which time the Tories could have found a decent leader(preferably one without a bike or a solar panel).

Anonymous said...

Don't frighten me like that Iain

Man in a Shed said...

Somewhere in No11 a party hack is running screaming down the corridor heading to his boss - having not read the bottom of the post. I'm grinning now just thinking about it ;-) .

Ross said...

Although this is a hoax it does have an element of truth in it. If Labour's polls improved significantly I could see Blair trying to hang on to the Labour leadership. The main differnence is that because John Howard is honest and competent he is very popular in Australia wheras Tony Blair is too widely disliked in the UK to be able to carry on.

Peter from Putney said...

O/T... Guido reports that the A-List top-up letters are due today - Are you standing by your front door mat with bated breath Iain?

Anonymous said...

Mt Blair, eh? My dictionary has two definitons of 'mountain':
1. "a large natural elevation rising abruptly from the surrounding level". 2. "a large surplus stock of a commodity"
I wonder which would be more appropriate

Anonymous said...

Well - you jest. I have been saying that something like this is likely to happen for quite some time now...
Basically, Blair won't go until he can leave on a positive note, having achieved something he can then be remembered for and talk about on the professional speaker circuits in the US. How else will he pay for the mortgages?
Since there is no positive note anywhere in sight, he won't be going until pushed - the only unlikely aspect of your news spoof is that he would actually make an announcement about staying, rather than carrying on pretending he won't...

AnyonebutBlair said...

I think this is scarily possible. Look to see further evidence that Brown polls poorly compared to Cameron, Blair suggesting that we skip a generation to someone like Milliband...but he's too young yet so let me stay on to groom the next Labour PM. I have posted before and still believe that Tone n'Cherie will have to be dragged kicking & screaming from No.10...the only thing that will ensure a smooth transition from Blair is a fat Murdoch sponsored payday in the US to pay off his multi-million pound mortgage.

Sir-C4' said...

John Howard is honest and competent

...and a horrid little man

Anonymous said...

I told you to keep us luvvies in power mmmmmm.

strapworld said...

syorkie,runner beans growing nicely and have had a good feed from the heavenly rain.

As Iain says it just shows how low an opinion of our majestic ruler 'Yo Blair' we all have.

I agree with those that think he will try something like this.

Mind you where oh where has Gordon Brown been since the flare up in the Lebanon, strangely quiet or just, in the word of our greatest leader since Churchill, FRIT!

Iain I think you should set up a BROWN WATCH so we can keep a check on the leader in waiting.

David said...

Brown is too scared to say Boo to anyone; time and again he hides when leadership is needed - if he got in he'd be the worst leader since Ted Heath!

Anonymous said...

'Nick' isn't Nick Robinson by any chance...however he will get the 'last laugh' if such a thing comes to pass - and it would be a brave man [Prezza?] who would 'bet the ranch' against it..

Anonymous said...

You bastard! You had me going there.

Martine Martin said...

Iain! It's August 1st NOT April 1st!

Anonymous said...

Nothing that Tony Blair does or says makes any sense unless he always did intend to stay on untill the electorate kick him out. I should imagine right now he sees his own party run my anyone but him as either unelectable or potentialy more dangerous to western interests then Bin-Larden. A real left wing government being guided by its International Imperialist propergander machine the BBC, could really end the world as we know it.

Either get rid of the BBC or start reading the Koran, up to you. No joke you have been warned.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you guys fell for this! Yes, my eyes did a split second saucer impersonation....but...as we all know - read the question fully - always read to the end of the doc, and even if you did not make it to the p.s. the clue is in the 94. May I recommend a small scurrilous rag that goes by the name of Private Eye?
pip,pip ScotsToryB

Anonymous said...

Can anybody name the last time a power-mad megalomaniac 'willingly' stood down?

Anonymous said...

Upon reading this, I felt this irresistable urge to find a rifle and a book repository. When I found out this was a wind up (not hard to guess to be honest!) the urge passed....

Anonymous said...

Do you think maybe Bush said to him: "Yo Blair stay a little longer, it just got more fun to be a world leader, you don't want to leave now."