Thursday, August 31, 2006

And in Entertainment News Today...

I never tire in telling people about my trashy taste in music, and no 1980s group sums this up more than Dollar. So you can imagine my delight when I read in Private Eye yesterday that Dollar's David van Day has signed up to the Conservatives and is standing for a local council seat in the unfortunately named Skidrow ward in East Sussex. He really is a SHOOTING STAR. let's hope he won't need his HAND HELD IN BLACK & WHITE [That's enough - ed].

And in other non political news to annoy my readers today, it seems West Ham have pulled off the transfer of the year and signed the best two players in South America, Carlitos Tevez and Javier Masherano, as well as a young Czech goalkeeper who chose the Hammers over Real Madrid. Wise boy. UPDATE 5pm: Click HERE to find out why I'm a happy Hammer tonight.

PS Sorry for lack of meaningful posts today. Brain is tired. Back to normal this evening (hopefully). What would you like me to write about?

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

Er, there is no ward called Skidrow in Brighton. Think you may be a little confused by the Eye's in-joke terminology, Iain...

vervet said...

"What would you like me to write about?"

Iain - take your pick ... any insider-intel you have on:-

Levy
Knacker of the Yard's progress
Teflon Tony's current invisibility
Two Shags Prezza (ANY subject)
Inside the Beckett Caravan
The scars on Ruth Kelly's thighs ... ooh Matron!
Blunkett's red-top blog

Just can't get enough !

Benedict White said...

I agree with vervet unless you want to update us on how it is going looking for the top 100 Conservative blogs.

I was writing a peace for my blog about taxation but am so emotionaly tired after an argument about immigration and its effects on the poor with some nu Lab nutter who makes Lord Tebbit look like a commie, over on polliticalbetting.com.

Andrew Woodman said...

Weren't Dollar the first to be voted off that dreadful ITV (those words seem to go together a lot) programme about reinventing old singers. If it is I seem to remember him having false looking hair.

ContraTory said...

When The Times reported about various "big club" transfers today, it went on to say,

"However, that [transfer deal] could be overshadowed by developments that may end with two [South American] World Cup stars moving to one of the Barclays Premiership backwaters."

I was at a loss as to which club could be described as "backwaters".

It was obvious really...West Ham!

bt said...

"What would you like me to write about?"

Oooh! Tell us a fairy tale, Uncle Iain!
There's the one about The Emperor's New Clothes, or the one about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or the one about killing the goose that lays the golden eggs.....

Lagwolf said...

Iain well I know people who like far more trashy stuff than you. Then again who am I to talk...I have a soft spot for stuff like REO Speedwagon.

Lawrence said...

How about some in depth analysis on how responsible Mr T Blair is for Sedgefield's coming sixth in the Obesity report published today?

Ellee Seymour said...

Perhaps you can fill us in on how your search for a parliamentary seat is going.

Did you know today is International Blog Day? And yesterday was "have a row day". That's a double whammy for lots of ranters who love to blog!

GFW said...

Any more on Paula Rumpy-Pumpy, JP's best friend.

Adrian Yalland said...

Iain, who the hell were/are Dollar?

Why not write about the best 100 Tory blogs, or my (vain) efforts to get Prescott to justify his son using tax payers money for his own enrichment!

Davidcracknellsonlymate said...

Could you please remove that picture of Julia Hartley Brewer? It put me off my afternoon biscuit.

MorrisOx said...

An apalling, possibly unelectable, lapse in taste there, Dale. Therese Bizarre does look a bit like Bagshawe from some angles, though.

You must be off-colour if this is what you've sunk to. Try an online recipe next time. Prescott tart would be a good start.

Otherwise, stoke the fires on the first resignation of the autumn. Could it begin with a B?

hatfield girl said...

Would you write about Blair's resignation honours list?

Greenham Woman said...

Sooo Desperate. With a planet sized ego. Thats how David van Day comes accross. Perhaps that's the kind of chap you want on side...

Peter Hitchens said...

Apart from hideous taste in music What fashion faux pas did you commit in the 1980s?
personally I went through a phase of wearing leg warmers, I had a pair of leather pants and a suede t shirt that I used to wear with a cashmere scarf wrapped around my throat, oh , and some ankle boots )+:

Tabman said...

I have to agree with this review of a recent Van Day appearance:

"time hasn't been kind to Dollar. Not only does David Van Day think he is still a star, but the music had dated more than anything else that was on offer this evening, and his trousers were a crime against fashion. In fact they were even a crime against kitsch retro 80's fashion."

Very popular in the 80s but deluded but now hopelessly dated? Iain - let that be a lesson!

Andrew Woodman said...

Tony Blair's hair since he came back might be a topic. Looks very blow dried.

Magggie Thatcher fan said...

At least you didn't get Malbranque.As a Fulham supporter I would have been really upset if he had gone to West Ham..... but then Spurs is just as bad.....

griswold said...

Pyschotherapists for Ministers @ £250 per hour.
Menace children and this Govt's futile efforts to be nanny and mother. No bad children only bad parents. Stop subsidising single mothers.
Invisible Shadow Cabinet
Cameron's Blue Book and the vote.
(Thats enough from you Ed.)

Anonymous said...

What's happened to that Orange guy who got suspended for a memorable definition of Islamophobia? among other things. You championed him at the time. There was a big fuss and boycott threats. Where is he now? quietly dumped on the scrapheap? while the relentless pressure to stop any of us speaking our minds has hardly abated.

The Welsh Windbag said...

Iain, slightly off topic - West Ham seem to have signed Tevez and Mascherano. Have I missed something? Is it really April 1st again?

Anonymous said...

What to write about? The Scottish Conservative Party dose it exist? Discuss.

dearieme said...

So, West Ham versus Portsmouth for the Premiership, then?

tonbridgeblog said...

You could write about those annoying pop up and scroll over banner ads and buttons which we see all over the internet and how influencial blogs should resist the temptation of taking them. You could read the article posted on my blog www.tonbridgeblog.com on this subject following the announcement in the news this week about the political blogs getting their heads together to form an advertising alliance:
"Surely this is horrific news and the start of the slippery slope. For the self proclaimed main political blog sites to accept payment will, for sure, compromise there editorial integretity if this Guardian web site report is anything to go by. It may only be a tiny amount for now as they only take sypathetic advertising on their sites, but Tonbridge blog predicts that this will lead to the flood gates being opened up. The reason that this will inevitably happen is, put quite simply, that money talks! Today it will be Green Peace advertising and maybe booker prize winning novels, but sooner or later it will be Gucci Watches, BMW cars, and Davidoff Cigars just as quicky as Gary Lineker can say "Yes!" to Walkers Crisps "...and I think that lots of fat and salt can only lead to healthy young sports girls and boys..." Stop the rot now fellow bloggers before it's too late. Surely the whole idea of a blog site is to get away from the seedy, advertising and sponsorship led, money grabbing world of main stream media and to have pure, untainted comment editorial free from any outside commercial interests. Maybe this view will prove to be just too idealistic, who knows, but that is the line this site will take even when the pips start to squeak. Anyway I have to go now as there is someone from Tonbridge Audi on the phone wanting to discuss banners and scroll overs...."

Anonymous said...

I think "how dodgy is the deal between West Ham and MSI?" would be a good topic.

UK Daily Pundit said...

What's a feeder club?

PJ said...

"What would you like me to write about?"

Why the number of violent assaults in Britain has quadrupled since 1997; and how Bliar ("tough on ...") nevertheless got reelected.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you could write about the need for West Ham to come clean about the transfer fee they paid for the two. After all according to reports in Argentina it would have cost over £60 million to have bought Tevez out of his contract.

Nuke Labour said...

You can't let the sale of Politicos.co.uk go without a post, surely? Doesn't it mark the closing of a significant chapter?

bebopper said...

You probably didn't see them, but IMO two television programmes have been very important in the recent schedules.
BAD LAD'S ARMY (ITV ) apart from being very funny, has some very important things to say about how to deal with young men drifting into criminality. Anyone who watched the cocky young men being reduced to tears and toeing the line after tough army trainng must be thinking National Service might just solve a few problems.

I thought SHOOT THE MESSENGER was a very brave and thoughtful single play about the black community and how they are in denial about how their young men are disproportionately involved in crime and educational under achievement.

People watch television, Iain. An occasional reaction to an interesting programme with political/social implications might pay dividends in terms of widening your audience.

shergar said...

The Hammers are the plain but friendly girl who lets you into the party. Tevez and Co will be offski once they have the lie of the land. Not that I'm a big Chelski fan but I predict Jose might come a wooing around the January transfer window.
Or Pardew had clinched the deal of the century. But we live in cynical times. And this is football.

Up the O's said...

Your brain must be tired if you've
got nothing better than to witter
on about West Ham.

Anonymous said...

How about Tony's "Minority Report" attempt to take people into care before they are born? Is Ms Caplin one of the psychics?

Why he doesn't suggest going the whole hog and intervening before conception I'm not sure...

Cybez said...

Sure we've already got John Prescott from "Tight Fit" and Charles Kennedy from "Bucks Fizz"

Anonymous said...

Iain

I love reading your blog. Why dont you write about that arsehole Blair who seems to have developed the ability of a amazing mega scanning machine that can predict the genetic traits of unborn babies?

Anonymous said...

How about a write-up on Blair's new wizard wheeze, ASBOs for toddlers?

Saw Newsnight tonight - incredible rubbish about how marvellous Reid is. To come back to earth, despite all the revolting spin flannel from the Home Office press "officers", the fact remains that there is still absolutely no monitoring of people leaving this country, absolutely minimal deportation arrangements for illegal immigrants and still absolutely no checks whatever on the criminal past of immigrants coming in. God help us all in what was once Britain - now increasingly a sort of multinational departure terminal for anyone who wants to come here from anywhere for any reason, including to conduct their criminal operations.

richard s said...

ASBOs for toddlers?

ASBINIS (pron. as-bee-nee-s), I think they should henceforth be known...

ugotabjokin said...

electoral ward, east sussex? skidrow ??
I don't think so...

greenham woman said...

Iain, I am horrified by the planned School Census. Given that social services and schools already could give Tony a list of kids "at risk" of turning into thugs, what is the point of collecting 40 pieces of data, every term, on every child at state school? We can't seem to help the kids we already know are struggling. How many thousands of "experts" will it take to analyse the data collected? And just what will they do with it?

jimthechimp said...

I thought David van Day was involved in a coach crash and went mad or something; or was that the blonde bloke from Bucks Fizz who then took over Dollar? Are they same person or are they two completely unconnected people?

Jesus, this is the arse end of the silly season isn't it?

Dawn Hornby said...

When are you going to delete my above message(like I asked you to in that email to you)and this one?