Thursday, August 31, 2006

Hammers Enter the Big Time

I have spent the whole day in a state of nervous exhaustion, constantly refreshing the West Ham Website Homepage to see if it really could be true that the two best footballers in South America had really signed for us. Other Hammers fans will know the meaning of the words 'just like my dreams, they fade and die'. We all expected it to be some massive hoax that Carlitos Tevez and Javier Mascherano had signed for us, but signed for us they have. This deal reminds me of the one that brought Ossie Ardiles and Ricky Villa to Tottenham in the late 1970s. It gave Spurs a huge boost and this really could propel the Hammers into the big time. But let's not get carried away. Oh sod, it let's. Have a look at this video of Tevez, and tell me youre not just that teensiest bit jealous that he hasn't signed for your team.



Some useful phrases (courtesy of the West Ham mailing list) for our new Argie Argentinian players...

"el pastel doble y tritura por favor amor" - "double pie and mash please luv"
"Así que usted ha hecho página tres?" - "so you've done page 3?"
"mejor marca mina un shandy" - "better make mine half a shandy"
"yo siempre he admirado a chicas inglesas" - "I've always liked English birds"
"estoy aquí como la parte del trato de Carrick" - "I'm here as part of the Carrick deal"
"he soñado de jugar delante del corral durante muchos años" - "I have dreamed of playing in front of the Chicken Run for many years"
"fuera Brown!" - "Brown OUT!"

22 comments:

chris doidge said...

There's a strong fishy smell about the deal... only holding them at WHU until they're ready to graduate to Chelsea? (it's rumoured Abramovich is the money man behind their agents MSI)

Andrew Woodman said...

Still can't believe that. All Derby have done is sell 2 of our best players with no one coming in.

Will they settle though? Remember Faustino Asprilla.

King Babar said...

Too good to be true. As a Brentford fan, I don't care who West Ham sign but it seems that there's some dodgy financing going on that Gordon "Enron Accounting" Brown would be proud of. Have West Ham really bought them, or are they leasing them? Or have West Ham given up some equity in the club for this? Everytime a club spends beyond its means it ends in tears. Enjoy Tevez whilst it lasts but you probably didn't need to sign him, surely with all the talent up front you've already got, it's enough. Where's the money come from for the "transfer" and the salaries?

Skuds said...

I am still pinching myself and can't believe it is true.

The way things go with us I would not be surprised if they both suffered metatarsal injuries during Sunday's friendly against Brazil... but until then lets enjoy it while we can.

David B said...

This is so all dodgy I can't believe Prescott isn't involved somewhere in the deal. Of course, this is just sour grapes coming from a Liverpool fan. :)

ian said...

If you want a suspicious looking deal, I'd look at the idea that someone would pay money for Pascal Cygan.

La Boheme said...

There's def. something dodgy about this. Who are their agents? Are they the same company that wanted to buy West Ham?

Bob Piper said...

Spurs first match with Ossie and Ricardo in the team was a home match to Aston Villa. Villa thrashed the southern softies on their own mud heap, 4-1. Well... what a turn up for the books. West Ham's first fixture... with two South Americans in the side who will be hyped-up to the eyeballs by the London media is.... at home... to.... Aston Villa!

Watch out Daley... we're coming to burst your bubbles too!

Richard Bailey said...

Plus you've got the whole Argie thing going on. I know, forgive and forget and all that.
Also not all South Americans enjoy playing football in Newcastle in January in a blizzard!
Also, great forwards tend to be well supported in midfield. I trust you are confident that you have the service that he will need to thrive.
I'm neutral on all this so just looking forward to watching. Love the intrigue though!!

Iain Dale said...

So Bob, will you be coming to the Villa game at Upton Park? Very happy to treat you to some jellied eels...

jaspercat said...

WHO?, the footballing experts in my house are suitable impressed though.

Tone made me do it - he's a bad influence said...

Nah, I've heard all those rumours -there really is nothing dodgy about our owners.

PJD said...

Fair play to West Ham, as a United (Manchester version) fan I am absolutely gutted... there has to be some kind of MSI/Abramovich shenanigans going on!

Enjoy it whilst it lasts...!

eeore said...

He'd be alright if he had a left foot.

Seriously though, I reckon this is part of a take over deal by MSI. The same two players moved to Corinthians when MSI took over there.

There does appear to be an Abramovich connection with MSI, but it reamisn to be seen if his alleged 15% holding would lead to a conflict of interest in any take over. It appears not to break rules in Europe, since he is involved in CSKA Moscow.... but Chelsea and West Ham play in the same league.

But as I say, it only alleged that he holds a 15% stake in MSI.

Still, you have every right to be happy, if it really is true that they have signed.

ian said...

http://sport.independent.co.uk/football/premiership/article1223091.ece

Next week, George Bush bombs West Ham after hearing their Iranian owner has two new weapons.

Bob Piper said...

No, Iain... it's on the box! We are not all wealthy media luvvies, you know. Jellied eels sound about as disgusting as faggots and peas (the last time I mentioned faggots and peas on my blog I had a record number of hits in the day, mostly from leather clad folks on the west Coast of the USA... so have this one on me, Iain).

PatrickF said...

Not meaning to pour cold water on your happiness, but spurs only finished 11th the season they signed Ardiles and Villa... and at least they stayed longer than a season

Giovanni said...

Tevez and MAscherano are being "parked" for a season in West Ham by Chelsea, who currently have reached the ceiling of extra-EU players they can have on squad. Why do you think they were trying to sell Drogba to Milan a couple of weeks ago? West Ham will have them for a season and get them acclimatised to the Premiership and next year they will go blue.
So maybe West Ham will reach the Champions' League qualifiers this season, maybe even win the Uefa Cup...

Mr Eugenides said...

Tevez is a sensational player; Mascherano could actually prove to be the more influential signing. He's better than, say, Michael Carrick.

There is, as has already been said, a fishy smell to this. I would not be surprised to see both players at a certain London rival by this time next year. A year to acclimatise to English football will do them a world of good, and reassure prospective buyers that their investment would be a wise one.

Ernesto said...

Picture this; Tevez (who looks as mad as a meat axe) is introduced to Iain in the players' lounge at the Boleyn;
HT; Hola Sr Dale, comprendo que Senora Thatcher es una amiga de tuyo? ( Hi, Iain, I gather that evil witch Thatcher is a mate of yours?)
ID; Si (yes).
HT; Mi hermano esta un marinero en El Belgrano...(Our kid was a sailor on the Belgrano...)
ID; Gulpo! (Gulp!)

Anonymous said...

Very droll, Ernesto!

BTW - did you post as Ernold Kovacs in a different life?

Julio César Fernández said...

Tevez is the best that is in spirit of game in Argentina. Not like it?