PC Bloggs, in her ever helpful way, tells us about the top ten remarks that will guarantee you a ticket...
1. I pay your salary.
2. Haven't you got anything better to do?
3. I'm going to miss my flight now.
4. Please don't - I've already got 9 points.
5. I've got three babies in the back, don't let them see this.
6. My wife/child/aunt is dying in hospital!
7. Someone else was driving. He ran off that way.
8. While you're here, I'm being harassed by my neighbour.
9. I was too busy talking on my mobile phone and didn't notice the speed.
10. The accelerator was stuck on.
I must say that the line "I've just been slagging off John Prescott on Newsnight and I am rushing home to watch it on TV, officer," always seems to work for me...
UPDATE: Mars Hill Blog takes this on a stage further and gives the Policeman's likely response to each of the above HERE.