Saturday, October 02, 2010
Geraldine Dreadful MP Writes ... to Her Constituency Labour Party
As you'll know, at the end of last month, the Labour Party took an historic right-turn to the left with the selection of Ken Livingstone to be its candidate for Mayor of London. The opportunity to offer a distinctly new, unprecedented, novel and vibrant direction for London is immense, and shows the kind of new thinking in the Labour Party of which I am so immensely proud.
The naysayers will point out that Mr Livingstone has already been rejected once by the electorate, and that he has already done the job and therefore offers nothing new. But those naysayers are mostly fascists, racists and anti-semites, much like the people supporting the hated Blairite Oona King (can someone in the comms office check this and make sure Ken hasn't called another journalist a Stalagsoberkommandant?).
In addition, as well as the delightful news about the inspirational Ken, of course, we have a new leader. Ed Milibrother is the next Prime Minister, securing an enormous 1% victory over his plotting Blairite brother David Milibrother, who has now sloped off, like the running dog he is, to South Shields.
Some of the other candidates were very good; Diane Abbott ticks so many of our diversity boxes (TV career, makeover, sent her kid to private school), she should really have done better than she did, and it was a pity that the one working class candidate, Andy Burnham, polled so poorly. Perhaps it was just as well; as a party we're all about aspiration, and Ed Milibrother represents just the sort of down-to-earth proto-middle class pre-shaver all teenage boys desire to be. Ed is a dream come true: it's like having Adrian Mole as party leader.
So, you can see, the future for the Labour Party is immensely bright.
We have followed the time honoured tradition of a quick repair to the left in the wake of electoral defeat, which has always worked out well for us in the past.
Yours in comradely solidarity,
Geraldine Dreadful MP
Hattip: With grateful thanks to Ben Archibald of Nabidana.com