political commentator * author * publisher * bookseller * radio presenter * blogger * Conservative candidate * former lobbyist * Jack Russell owner * West Ham United fanatic * Email iain AT iaindale DOT com
Monday, October 05, 2009
Conference Caption Competition
Talking to the New Statesman's James Macintyre at the New Statesman party last night. So, who's saying what?
DALE It is my soul that calls upon my name: How silver-sweet sound lovers' tongues by night, Like softest music to attending ears! MACINTIRE Iain !!!!!!! DALE My dear? MACINTIRE At what o'clock to-morrow Shall I send to thee? DALE At the hour of nine. MACINTIRE I will not fail: 'tis twenty years till then. I have forgot why I did call thee back. DALE Let me stand here till thou remember it. MACINTIRE I shall forget, to have thee still stand there, Remembering how I love thy company. MACINTIRE And I'll still stay, to have thee still forget, Forgetting any other home but this.
"Yeah Iain, that's right, I speak to Obama twice a week on the blower and that's where I get all my top-line Whitehouse policy stories from. Yeah, The New York Times keeps offering me a job because my scoops are so good, but why would I leave where I am?...... What? The New Statesman!"
Iain: I really like Cameron Macintyre: You really hate him that much. Iain: No. I said I really like him. Macintyre: You really detest him do you? That'll make great copy. Iain: I give up! Macintyre: You're launching a leadership bid too. At this rate I'm going to win the Pulitzer. Iain: I'd really like to make love to you James. Macintyre: You're joining the Labour Party! Gordon is going to appoint me Minister of Defence. Iain: James, even you could do better than Ainsworth. Macintyre: You're telling me you support Al Qaeda and giving up politics, moving to Afghanistan to fight with the Taliban. Iain: I need a stiff one. Macintrye: The bar is over there.
ID: Do let me tell you about my latest speaking and broadcasting commitments. JM: I'd love to stay and listen, but I really must dash. ID: Well just let me tell you about my list of the hundred most boring bloggers. You'll never guess who's top. JM: Honestly Iain, I really must be going
M:'I just went outside for some air and got talking to some local lads.When I said my name was Macintyre,they thought I was that investigator chappy and cracked my skull! D:'That's funny! I just skulled some crack!'
*Who threw that? *Ow...THE SKY IS FALLING IN! I must go tell everyone! ID..."Chicken Little"! *"Yeah right"! "Do you have to bring it up every time I see you"? *BALD!!!Moi? nah!Me heads grown *If we'd have gone to Brighton the bloody seagulls would have got me, suppose pigeons make a refreshing change, maybe a cure...i could flog it on ebay.
Woman in background. I've got champagne..I've got champaign...get that waitress...If I stand still maybe no one will notice. Man at side of her...I've just lobbed mine....think it hit that bloke over there...I'm off
36 comments:
Does it look overt if I stand like this ?
I have found that this particular wine does make your hairpiece lift
Iain Dale tried to convince doubting journalist that he has indeed found the Holy Grail.
"James, do you fancy a lick of the ice-cream that someone has placed in my champagne glass?"
Labels: Photographic juxtaposition, Monday Morning Silliness.
You were there. You tell us.
I know I'm going bald Iain, but you're hardly one to talk!
Well, no, I’ve actually put on half a stone..
No honestly, rub a bit more champagne in, and it stops the hair loss. Works for me..
Can’t stay, I’ve got 17 more receptions to go to this evening..
"I do hope this ice cream promotes hair growth"
"I find champagne does just fine for me, thanks."
James, I've no idea where Bracknell is. Do you know?
Get hit by a Nokia, James?
JM: Bet you a tenner you won't use a picture of yourself in your caption competition.
Iain, hi! I see we use the same barber - "short-back-and-sides" Paul at Le Croupiers des Hommes Effeme, Bruxelles.
I should imagine it was a bit like this .....
DALE
It is my soul that calls upon my name:
How silver-sweet sound lovers' tongues by night,
Like softest music to attending ears!
MACINTIRE
Iain !!!!!!!
DALE
My dear?
MACINTIRE
At what o'clock to-morrow
Shall I send to thee?
DALE
At the hour of nine.
MACINTIRE
I will not fail: 'tis twenty years till then.
I have forgot why I did call thee back.
DALE
Let me stand here till thou remember it.
MACINTIRE
I shall forget, to have thee still stand there,
Remembering how I love thy company.
MACINTIRE
And I'll still stay, to have thee still forget,
Forgetting any other home but this.
Etc.
Close ?
James you are as welcome here as a STD at a brothel.
Dale
If I hold your neck like this and squeeze hard for 5 minutes, then you will never be able to write again.
Macintyre
Go right ahead. I just get my articles pre-written by Peter Manddeslon anyway.
Iain Dale: "What has a convicted terrorist in HMP Whitemoor doing a stand up comedy routine and David Cameron got in common?".
James Macintyre: "They both have failed the public acceptability test!".
Yeah, mine's falling out as well Iain, but not as much as yours.
"Yeah Iain, that's right, I speak to Obama twice a week on the blower and that's where I get all my top-line Whitehouse policy stories from. Yeah, The New York Times keeps offering me a job because my scoops are so good, but why would I leave where I am?...... What? The New Statesman!"
Iain: I really like Cameron
Macintyre: You really hate him that much.
Iain: No. I said I really like him.
Macintyre: You really detest him do you? That'll make great copy.
Iain: I give up!
Macintyre: You're launching a leadership bid too. At this rate I'm going to win the Pulitzer.
Iain: I'd really like to make love to you James.
Macintyre: You're joining the Labour Party! Gordon is going to appoint me Minister of Defence.
Iain: James, even you could do better than Ainsworth.
Macintyre: You're telling me you support Al Qaeda and giving up politics, moving to Afghanistan to fight with the Taliban.
Iain: I need a stiff one.
Macintrye: The bar is over there.
ID: Do let me tell you about my latest speaking and broadcasting commitments.
JM: I'd love to stay and listen, but I really must dash.
ID: Well just let me tell you about my list of the hundred most boring bloggers. You'll never guess who's top.
JM: Honestly Iain, I really must be going
So according to Newmania it is Romeo of the Dales and Juliet not very Bravo!
OK, you've got patting your head sorted, but put your glass down before you try rubbing your stomach at the same time .....
did cameroon just shit on ma head. Just like he did to all of us on this EU shite.
Dale: "And who's your other subscriber?"
I am not as talented as my Dad!
"So, you'd recommend another couple of mil off the top, then?"
"Yes, if you want to stop looking like that James Macintyre!"
"But I am James Macintyre!"
"My dear fellow! I didn't realise! I am so sorry for you! Why not try a Guido Fawkes mask, instead?"
If you take out a subscription we send you a free DVD "From Foot to Kinnock - Labour's Wonder Years"
So, "Competition". Anyone win it? Tee-Shirt? Half used glass of champagne?
M:'I just
went outside for some air and got talking to some local lads.When I said my name was Macintyre,they thought I was that investigator chappy and cracked my skull! D:'That's funny! I just skulled some crack!'
Dale: As a so called "progressive" publication, why do you think it's acceptable to take money from BAE who are arms dealers on trial for bribery?
Shoot...what was that?
*Who threw that?
*Ow...THE SKY IS FALLING IN! I must go tell everyone!
ID..."Chicken Little"!
*"Yeah right"! "Do you have to bring it up every time I see you"?
*BALD!!!Moi? nah!Me heads grown
*If we'd have gone to Brighton the bloody seagulls would have got me,
suppose pigeons make a refreshing change, maybe a cure...i could flog it on ebay.
So I said to Harriet " Women need equality like I need a hole in the head..."
Woman in background.
I've got champagne..I've got champaign...get that waitress...If I stand still maybe no one will notice.
Man at side of her...I've just lobbed mine....think it hit that bloke over there...I'm off
Post a Comment