Thursday, June 07, 2007

Desperately Seeking Susan's Keys

Yesterday, Nadine Dorries wrote on her blog that she keeps having what she called "Susan" moments. Those who watch Desperate Housewives will know what she means. Essentially she is accident prone. She recounts the tale of how she 'mislaid' something white and lacy (ahem) in a car park...[enough - ed]

It seems though that Nadine had a premonition, for in another 'Susan' moment Nadine has lost her car keys, office keys and home keys. She tells me that last night she got into her house via the dog flap at 1am. And furthermore she has enlisted the help of the Whips Office who have sent out an urgent email to all Tory MPs asking if they have seen Nadine's keys. It's just as well they have mostly all gone back to their constituencies, otherwise they might be asked to turn our their pockets.

And in a public service announcement, should you have come across a set of keys tied to a purple and white ribbon with a portcullis on it, do let me know and I will put you in touch with their rightful owner. The things I do for Miss Dorries...!

UPDATE: Panic over. Keys found in my glovebox. Handed in at a train station. A nation breathes a collective sigh of relief!

16 comments:

simonh said...

"The Tory MP who dropped her knickers in a car park". That's got to be a story for somebody....

Anonymous said...

I think it's highly unlikely that another MP would have the keys to Nadine's flat. Isn't it?

Anonymous said...

She should use that Card Protection Plan for keys, you know, the one where if someone finds her keys they just put them in the mail box and they get sent back to her.

Of course, that isn't much help for the right-now...

Anonymous said...

Surely 'Mrs Dorries' ?

Anonymous said...

As a fellow clumsy bugger, my sympathies go out to her. Being male I don't think I can have 'Susan moments', but I have them in all but name.

On her blog she mentions flicking a plate onto the floor using a menu. While I don't think I've ever done that before, I would think that during one meal out in five I always end up somehow flipping my cuttlery onto the floor. It's not just annoying because you have to get them replaced, and because you look like a tool. But also because people think you're drunk, and I don't bloomin' drink!

Anonymous said...

You know you've just advertised the fact that her dog flap is big enough to crawl through? I'm guessing a lot more of her white lacy things will go missing now.

Anonymous said...

Knowing that her keys are up for grabs, Jack Straw isn't going to get any work done today...

The Hitch said...

why was she carrying a pair of knickers through a car park?
Surely the correct drill is to either wear them or have them secured in some kind of bag?

Anonymous said...

You fancy her, don't you ?

Anonymous said...

Are we to be told why she was carrying her knickers in a car park? I would enjoy being taken for a walk and having my tummy rubbed by her.

Anonymous said...

If I find her keys can I have the frilly white items in return please?

Mog said...

Nadine and Iain sitting in an Audi
K I S S I N G

When the dirty deed was done
They were together as one

Without her frillies did Nadine flee
As naughty Iain hung onto her key

The knickers they were never found
The key? Well Iain keeps coming around

Nadine and Iain happy but poor
At least Iain now has a key to her door.

Anonymous said...

Come on, Iain. It's time you came out and admitted it - you're in love with this woman.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

She should watch Suburban Shootout instead of Desperate Housewives......

http://www.suburbanshootout.com/

Unsworth said...

How big is the dog, then?