Thursday, June 14, 2007

The Lovely Miss Lightwater

My second appearance in the Spectator's Tamzin Lightwater column this week. It's the ultimate accolade for politico-media tarts everywhere. I can sleep happily tonight.
Disaster. Dave’s big policy announcement on illegal logging totally ruined by
rogue spelling error and I’m to blame. Can’t believe I could be so stupid as to
add a letter ‘b’ by mistake. Nigel says I must have done it on purpose. Jed says
my ‘Inner Moderniser’ did it subliminally. Either way we now have a v. draconian
policy on illegal blogging which is going to cause all sorts of upset to the men
who live in the chatrooms. That nice Mr Dale sits up half the night deleting
swear words as it is.
A lot of people think Melissa Kite writes this column. After recent events, I think she is the last person who would call me 'nice' - unless, of course, she was being ironic. Hmmm. Paranoia sets in. Back to the drawing board...

UPDATE: Hmmm, 'men who live in chatrooms'. Maybe I take it back. That is exactly what Miss K thinks. Personally, I think the last time I was in a chatroom was in about 1997, but the less said about that the better... JOKE!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

But isn't half the problem that you allow people to swear with impunity on your other blog so you are rather estopped from being so shocked when people do it on this one. A bit like pretending to be really shocked when someone farts if the vicar or your mother is visiting. 'Volenti non fit injuria' as they say in Germany...

Anonymous said...

No coverage of Sheffield United's visit to Parliament yesterday or Gordon Taylor and Sean Bean's comments.?

Iain Dale said...

Anonymous, you mean my West Ham blog? I am not shocked at swearing. I swear myself. But on this kind of blog it is inappropriate and unnecessary.

Warnock. You can **** off! Whistling in the wind...

Newmania said...

Why did you think that Melissa Kite wrote that Iain ? Is it because the little horsey groveller is God mother to D`Anconna`s spawn or because you recognised the rich vein of comedic intellegence for which Melissa is famously the anti-dote,
I think the latter may be right , I look at that bit in the Spectator and I try to imagine a point to it .Half an hour of aimless musing later I am a more relaxed and spiritually fulfilled person . Clearly there is no point , the meditational and theraputic value of wondering is well worth it though.
Admit it , you thought la Kite wrote it because its such superfluous doodling best left in a wallpaper covered excercise book.


Incidentally what is this thing about controlling blogging , that is the second time i have seen it mentioned today . Whats going on ?

Anonymous said...

Melissa Kite ? I was under the impression that Verity was the only person to post on this blog.If not, she is certainly the most prolific poster in the history of prolific posting,ever.

Anonymous said...

There is now a rival Tory bimbo Tamsin satire in the New statesman written by "Tara Hamilton-Miller". Not sure who the real author is.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

There is now a rival Tory bimbo Tamsin satire in the New statesman written by "Tara Hamilton-Miller". Not sure who the real author is.

It's probably Verity.If it's long and boring then it will almost certainly be Verity.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps Melissa was building bridges with you Iain, must be a close reader of the blog to see you are controlling the comments sections

Newmania said...

Tory bimbo Tamsin satire in the New statesman written by "Tara Hamilton-Miller".


Kevin Macguire ( Druggy Dave ...oo hold my sides)..is perhaps the least funny man in a magazine of po faced sermonisers . Tamsin already was satire and the New Staesman should stick to dull and worthy

Steven_L said...

Call me a cynic Iain, but isn't your 18 Doughty St office pretty much next door to the Spectator?

Anonymous said...

Now you know how Canadians feel; we have to do our blogging wearing mackinaws and using handsaws and teams of minute draft horses. And the horses get spooked when anyone starts up an MP3 (I think they're working for the DRM people).