Monday, March 05, 2007

Get Your Chipmunk Merchandise Here!

Now I swear I am not making this up, but you can now buy Hazel Blears merchandise, including a NUTS ABOUT HAZEL sweat shirt for a mere £16.80. I particularly like the prominent imprint. Does this mean that the 'chipmunk' motif might be appearing soon on the merchandise? The Hazel Blears shop is HERE.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

How many have you ordered, Mr Dale?

Would they be the 'skinni-fit' or the 'Hooded Sweat'...

Anonymous said...

Can one buy the complete android head with the ginger permawig and the preprogrammed optimism circuitry as well? I was thinking of fitting one to my cat, Mrs Rochester.

Daily Referendum said...

How about:

Hazel - Nuttier than squirrel sh*t

uk-events said...

Worth it for the comedy value but:

1). Who would want to give the Blears money?

2). Wouldn't it stimulate her over active ego convincing her that someone actually supports "it"?

A said...

Oh sweet Lord. I really have seen it all now!
That stuff is going to send every chipmunk within a four-mile radius into a frenzy!

Glass House said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Border Reiver said...

She obviously thinks this is a good idea. Quite how she thinks that jives with the position she aspires to hold we can only hazard a guess. She's obviously got a screw loose.

Pedant said...

Go on. Please tell me it's a windup.

Anonymous said...

'Chip munk' is actually an accent distortion thing - they mean 'Cheap Manky'

Anonymous said...

Available with large arm holes for bingo-wings.

anon and on and on said...

Erm.. shouldn't that shirt read

"Nuts TO Hazel"?

PJ said...

'Spreadshirt' who provide the merchandise are of course a foreign internet start-up based in Leipzig & based on an American business model.
How very NuLabour

Anonymous said...

As good as the merchandise section is please read the rest of the site. I haven't laughed this much since Lord Levy offered me a peerage.

In the "Hazel" section - the edited highlights are (please try to imagine the music from the Hovis ad playing in the background for full effect) :

I grew up in the 1960s in Salford in a traditional working class street, with children playing outside terraced houses, and neighbours who looked out for each other. My Dad was a fitter in a factory. He was a union man, who always paid his dues to the AEU.

When we were little, they filmed the classic black and white movie ‘A Taste of Honey’ on location in Salford . . . My Mum, being a proud working class woman, scooped us up, put us in our Sunday best, and we appear in the film as the best dressed street urchins in Britain!

I grew up with a strong sense of social justice – life just didn’t seem fair to me. At 14, I saw a homeless person eating dinner from a rubbish bin, and I was angry that someone had to live like that.

My first [Union - quelle surprise] meeting was in a the back room of a pub where the pigeon fanciers held their meetings. We were discussing the evils of Thatcherism, while pigeon feathers floated around us.

I had to face up to my own defeat by 800 votes after three recounts. I was devastated. I remember my Mum saying – the way you make steel so tough is by tempering it [and life is like a box of chocolates . . .].

I am the first person in my family to go on to higher education, never mind to t'[he] cabinet table.

My socialism is a product, not of academic seminars, but of my experience: from t'[he] streets and estates of the inner-city.

With tears in my eyes I had our Whippet, Sadie Keir Hardie Blears - a unique creature with a beautiful ginga fur - put down to make a coat for our Johnny so he could march to support Arthur Scargill fight the police state (must check with Tony whether we're for or against that now) without feeling ashamed he were less well dressed than the privileged Tory Lord's in t' Stately Home.

He painted kids with nowt on their feet . . . and he painted Matchstalk Men and Matchstalk cats and dogs . . . the big ships sail through the alley-allio, the alley-allio . . .

Ok - I made the last two up but, let's be honest, they don't seem out of place.

Support this worthy crusade by purchasing this traditional working class keepsake, made with the sweat of the brows of the proletariat (in China - so that's alright as it's a Socialist utopia) "The Deputy Leader of the Pack" mousemat

Anonymous said...

On first reading I truly thought this was a spoof but now that I see that it's genuine I am stunned in amazement.

And these are the sort of folks who decried William Hague for his baseball cap?

What planet do they live on?

Who would be seen dead buying or wearing such crap and tat?

Ian should offer a prize to anyone documenting the most (any?) public sightings of said merchandise.

Anonymous said...

Why so unkind to Hazel?
Why not "Tories for Hazel"
She stands tall in the Labour party and would bring enormous panache and style to the parliamentary team.

Duncan Borrowman said...

Trying it on for size http://tinyurl.com/yswg7k

Anonymous said...

Oh, come on ,it's less than twenty quid - don't be 'mingy' !

Anonymous said...

Where do you start. It's like something out of a scene from a Monty Python sketch. Lets be honest there aren't that many democracies in the world where an extra from the Borrowers decides to become Deputy prime Minister. Makes you proud to be British

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't mind putting my nuts about Hazel.

Let's face it, at least she's not a minger.