Saturday, May 10, 2008

Top Ten Nightmare Jobs in Politics

10. Being Geoffrey Robinson's accountant
9. Being Michael Portillo's mirror
8. Being the person who sets Harriet Harman's or Grant Shapps' computer passwords
7. Being Boris Johnson's diary secretary
6. The Tory economist who decides how to share the proceeds of growth
5. Being John Prescott's speechwriter
4. Being John Prescott's interpreter at EU summits
3. Being Gordon Brown's mobile phone
2. Being Nick Clegg's Y Fronts
1. Being Chancellor of the Exchequer when Gordon Brown is Prime Minister

Do feel free to suggest your own...

53 comments:

Anonymous said...

Being Melissa Kite's sub editor

Anonymous said...

Being Gordon's pschoanalyst

Daily Referendum said...

Being Gordon Brown's anger management therapist. Whoever it is must be working overtime at the moment.

Daily Referendum said...

The Lib Dem's EU policy strategist.

Anonymous said...

being tony blair's masseuse

Anonymous said...

Being Cherie Blair's dentist.

Anonymous said...

Being Theresa May's chiropodist.

Anonymous said...

Boris Johnson's stylist

Anonymous said...

Being Tony Blair's confessor

Anonymous said...

Writing witticisms for Jack Straw to deliver.

Anonymous said...

Maintaining "Iain Dale's Diary"

Oops!

Anonymous said...

Being Iain Dale ;P

Anonymous said...

Prime Minister, Home Secretary, Chancellor in an economic downturn.

Anonymous said...

Ken Livingston's gardener

Anonymous said...

Being General-Secretary of the Labour Party(apparently)

Anonymous said...

Being Gordon Brown?

Anonymous said...

Being Her Majesty's Prime Minister

Anonymous said...

Being Hazel Blears' yellow pages

Anonymous said...

Being Ken Livingstone's gardener

Anonymous said...

Being Iain Dale's police liason officer

Anonymous said...

Being Gordon Brown's political agent

Anonymous said...

Being Gordon Brown's dentist. Imagine trying to work with that jaw going ito spasm, and all those bogies stuck to his teeth.

Anonymous said...

hilarious - your best top 10 yet. But gotta go. Dr Who is on. And he has a daughter!

Anonymous said...

Being John Prescott's dinner, knowing you are in for a round trip.

Anonymous said...

Being the Labour Party's beauty therapist

Scipio said...

being Iain dales Blackberry?

David Anthony said...

1. Being Chancellor of the Exchequer when Gordon Brown is Prime Minister


1a . Being Prime Minister when Gordon Brown is Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Anonymous said...

being Iain Dale?

Anonymous said...

being the PMs official spokesman

Peter hains Tan applier.

Anonymous said...

Being Verity's straitjacket

MikeyP said...

Being John Prescott's jock strap. (or any of the MacMafia's)

Anonymous said...

Ken's gardener defo wins. poor guy, imagine the whining!

Anonymous said...

being Mrs Gordon Brown

Anonymous said...

Being a decent human being

Anonymous said...

1. Being LibDem's leader
( sqeezed by the other two parties
and standing at an obsure place in the House of Commons muttering questions)
2. Being LibDem's spin doctor
(figuring out what they stand for)
3. Being PPS to 'so what' Balls
( listening to the crap he dishes out)
4. Being Red Ken's newt
( sick and tired of his attention after Boris kicked him out)

Laurence Boyce said...

Being Ann Widdecombe's fitness trainer.

Anonymous said...

Being Verity's carer.

Anonymous said...

August 31, 2007 4:46 PM , Laurence Boyce said...
"Anyway, all I really want to say is that if Boris Johnson becomes Mayor of London, I shall kiss Donal Blaney's arse."

Philipa said...

At one time Boris Johnson's diary secretary was the very fragrant and utterly professional Melissa - you should ALL be so lucky!

Don't believe me Iain? Ask Boris..

Laurence Boyce said...

Hey Mr Anonymous, that's really funny. Please make sure you say it every time.

Anonymous said...

August 31, 2007 4:46 PM , Laurence Boyce said...
"Anyway, all I really want to say is that if Boris Johnson becomes Mayor of London, I shall kiss Donal Blaney's arse."

Laurence Boyce said...
"Hey Mr Anonymous, that's really funny. Please make sure you say it every time."

We are still waiting for you to act on your promise (or a grovelling withdrawal would do).

Laurence Boyce said...

Really? Who's "we"? Donal certainly hasn't been in touch. I'm not quite sure what to say. I actually wanted Boris to win in the end (having totally forgotten my promise before Dale brought it up). Perhaps I'll send Donal a small gift. The sayings of Nelson Mandela maybe.

Anonymous said...

You have an instant gap in your top 10, Iain; Portillo is not a politician. Or have you somehow not noticed that he has held, and sought, no political office or position since 2005?

Anonymous said...

Following Verity's theme,
1)Gordon Brown's manicurist. No nails and, urrgh, where has that index finger been?

2) Eric Pickle's chair.

Anonymous said...

A Hansard writer after a John Prescott speech.

John Prescott's Diary Secretary.

Anonymous said...

Working for lazy Boris Johnson.

Anonymous said...

Dave H - Or a Hansard writer trying to get hold of Ed Balls to ask him how he wants his comments to appear in the verbatim record ...

Anonymous said...

Des Browne's almost invisible role at the Scottish Office as Wendy and Gordon bypass him 100%

Anonymous said...

1)Being Ed Balls' psychiatrist.

2) Being David Milliband's moustache.

Anonymous said...

Being the Lib-Dem candidate for London Mayor

Bishop Brennan said...

No.10 IT man (needing to fix all those keyboards Gordy breaks)

No.10 typist - being shouted at all day by Gordon the Moron

No.10 cleaner - having to sterilise the whole place after seeing where Gordon's finger has been...

Ed Balls - well, just for being exposed as a ****er to the whole nation, instead of just the Westminster Village

Ed Balls - for the 'services' he has to render to Gordon

But...

It has to be Alistair Darling - for taking all the flak for his predecessor's cock-ups! Worst job since Norman Lamont...

Best job - those who have to count Labour votes in by-elections. Money for nothing!

Labour Rigged Glenrothes said...

being Wendy Alexander's press officer

Anonymous said...

Bishop Brennan said...
"Best job - those who have to count Labour votes in by-elections. Money for nothing!"

Pathetic.