Sunday, May 18, 2008

It's Official: Boris is Fit

I bring good news for all Londoners. The Mayor has the body of a man five years younger than himself! Perhaps he'd like to give it back ... boom, boom. Seriously, Boris had a medical on Friday - it's the rules apparently. All that cycling and giving up the booze seems to have done the trick, as I can reveal that he passed the medical with flying colours.

Boris apparently has the lungs of an ox, after he breathed out 5.5 litres (maybe I have got the wrong measure there...) of air, compared to the norm of 4 litres. No jokes about politicians and hot air, please.


Anonymous said...

5.5 litres my arse. Anyway air doesn't have a fixed volume like milk or petrol. Have a nice Sunday. Are you taking bets on the by election?
freedom to prosper

stuart said...

Am I the first person to be bored of Boris already? Heavens, aren't I fickle?

The Heresiarch said...

Yes, but have you seen the News of the World? It carries what purports to be an article by Boris, but which reads like a New Labour press release at its most robotic. I know he has to be "on message" these days, but someone seems intent on turning him into a cipher. Can we have the real Boris back, please?

norman said...

Not surprised. The bicycle does it, re: fitness. I have personal experience. I voted for Boris and I want him to be fit to deliver his promises and not let the newt admirer back again!!

Paul Pinfield said...

"It's Official: Boris is Fit" - Shuuuurly some mistake. Shouldn't it read "It's Official: Boris is Fat"

Well, he always looks fat to me. Has no one else seen him running?

Auntie Flo' said...


Earth has not anything to show more fair:
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
Boris so touching in his majesty.

This City now, where Boris is the Mayor.
The beauty of the morning; silent, bare,
Ships, towers, domes, theatres, and temples lie
Free unto the fields, and to the sky.

All bright and glittering in the Newtless air.
Never did sun more beautifully steep
In his first splendour, valley, rock, or hill;
Ne'er saw I, never felt, a calm so deep!
As Boris glideth on the people's will:
Dear God! The newt can do nothing now but weep;
While all to Boris's mighty heart do thrill!

With apologies to Wordsworth

Anonymous said...

Well, that should come in handy if he approves some urban wind farm scheme, eh?

Man in a Shed said...

And why don't we get a medical write up on Gordon Brown. His Psych evaluation should be interesting reading....

But seriously, shouldn't we take the state of mind of the man who controls one of the world's largest nuclear power more seriously ?

He rose to office by avoiding elections, backstabbing and now seems unstable (just ask his ex-mobile phones).

Anonymous said...

paul pinfield you are wrong- Boris is solid and well built.

He is not only fit but he is also hot. So nice to have a fanciable mayor, adds to the gaiety of nations. :-)

Curmy said...

Ian, I've always though Boris was fit, I've fancied him for years.!

pedant said...


It's not "bored of".
It should be "bored with".
Don't worry; you're not alone

Anonymous said...

freedom to prosper 11.27 am said
"5.5 litres my arse. Anyway air doesn't have a fixed volume like milk or petrol."

The volume of a gas is meaningful if the pressure is known. In a Lung Function test the volume is expressed in relation to a standard pressure.

Desperate Dan said...

I'm very disappointed that Boris has caved in over cycling helmets. Helmets are for wimps and Mummy's boys who are over-influenced by Health and Safety Regulations and scare stories put about by the insurance community.

Anonymous said...

Thank god - I'd been sleepless with worry.

canvas said...

Who cares? Let Mayor Johnson get on with his work.

not that herodotus said...

and according to Piers Morgan in the MoS based on an (alledged) conversation PM had with his sister BoJo is hung like Pegasus. No wonder he is so keen to quickly get from A to B on his bike.

Anonymous said...

Must be all the extra marital horizontal jogging.

not that herodotus said...

Anon 4:51 - if only practice helped! Why does anyone even talk to that worm Piers Morgan?

Anonymous said...

But UNfit to be Mayor... and prepared to take on any private sector work that brings in cash.