Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Lunch with Gordon ... Or Was It?!

I wasn't told who the lunch would be with. I was just to be at the restaurant at a certain time. A bit strange I thought, but curiosity got the better of me. A few minutes after I arrived a burly looking man approached the table and said, 'he's on his way', but before I could ask him 'who' was on his way, he departed. A few minutes later I got the shock of my life as Gordon Brown walked up to the table and sat down. Cheery, jovial and very easy to talk to, you could say I got the shock of my life.

The trouble is, I can't remember anything he said, because the whole thing was a dream...

Sir Martin Gilbert said in an interview this weekend that he has only ever dreamed about Churchill twice. It's very rare that I ever dream about politics, but last night's dream about Gordon Brown was incredibly vivid. When I woke up, I thought to myself, 'I must write that up now'. But I couldn't be bothered to get out of bed to so so... and sure enough, a few hours later most of the detail has gone.

UPDATE: Paul Linford has the real story. This is what he left in the comments. It made me laugh out loud...

I may regret this....but I think it was almost certainly a dream of the future.The date is 2021. Iain Dale, having served successively as Culture Secretary and Home Secretary in William Hague's two-term Tory Government, has defeated Esther McVeigh in the Tory leadership election to become Britain's first openly gay Prime Minister.While preparing to move into No 10, he is contacted by a Downing Street official with the information that a "senior personage" would like to meet him privately, away from the prying eyes of the media. This turns out to be Sir Gordon Brown, KG, who following his triumphant victory over David Cameron in 2009, went on to become one of Britain's greatest Prime Ministers before retiring ahead of the 2013 election which propelled Mr Hague to power.During the course of the lunch, the 72-year-old Sir Gordon passes on the benefits of his accummulated wisdom as the towering figure in late 20th and early 21st century British politics, while satisfying himself that the man preparing to occupy his former role is up to the ask. Afterwards, Sir Gordon incurs the wrath of the Labour leader, James Purnell, by letting it be known that the meeting has taken place, and declaring: "Mr Dale will not let the country down."

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is this classified as a dream or a nightmare?

Anonymous said...

Oh Iain, do get out more.

Anonymous said...

is Ned your partner?

Anonymous said...

I trust it wasn't a 'wet dream'!

Anonymous said...

Iain, you really shouldn't eat so much cheese before bedtime.

Anonymous said...

If only we could ALL wake up and find that GB was just a dream...

Newmania said...

Iain seriously , you must read Diary of Nobody , its a comic masterpiece and it will cure you of ever re telling your dreams again.


This is not the first time

Anonymous said...

Do you think that Gordon Brown dreams of dinner with Iain Dale?

Anonymous said...

Most of us can't remember what Brown has said once he's said it so that's not necessarily a sign that it was a dream!

Are you sure it didn't really happen?

Ed said...

Brown would never have lunch with someone outside his nanocircle!

Anonymous said...

Don't worry Iain!Even an event caught on video can be misrepresented in 'history':There was a piece on the toppling of Saddam's statue in Baghdad and it covered the 'central figure' (!)a thickset chap in his thirties?.This chap took a sledge hammer to the base of the statue and was the focus of press attention (according to the piece).I watched the entire live coverage of the toppling and I saw something much more interesting.A man in his sixties?,wearing a 'jenna' hat - one of those white pill-box hats with the central crease.Together with a young boy of maybe 7 or 8.The man attacked the statue's base with a sledge hammer.He then directed (imo) attempts to climb the statue.After several fruitless minutes,he walked toward a suited,very stern man of western appearance.This 'westerner' had his hands on his hips and a face like thunder.I took his attitude to be 'what the hell are you playing at'!Of course the heavy equipment the Americans had standing by then took over.When the statue was eventually toppled,it's decapitated head was ridden by the boy with the 'old man' in close attendance.I'm sure the 'westerner' was CIA/FBI.The 'central figure' to me was always the 'old man'.The (unreported) story was the attempt to choreograph the occasion.If you have a chance to watch the full morning's coverage of the toppling (perhaps on fast forward!)you'll see what I mean.It all took place in clear view of the camera but 'history' records another as the 'central figure'.Marvellous really.

Tapestry said...

It's a trick of the subconscious. When you know someone is downright evil and they pose a major threat, it is normal to dream that they are friendly nice people. You've been warned.

Newmania said...

I wonder if later in the dream there was a wooden horse designed for rocking and perhaps some unsuitable attire for a grown man.
Perhaps it was not a dream but a vision of ...

"The Grail" ( Cue angels singing)

Mr Eugenides said...

You dreamed of Gordon Brown last night?

Comment moderation is wise, Iain...

The Hitch said...

I bet he left you to pick up the bill and stole the spoons.

Anonymous said...

Brown usually outs me to sleep! I'll get my coat...

Little Black Sambo said...

Making Cocoa for Kingsley Amis

It was a dream I had last week
And some kind of record seemed vital.
I knew it wouldn't be much of a poem
But I love the title.

Wendy Cope

Anonymous said...

I can recommend some psychiatric help, if this dream reoccurs.

Newmania said...

Last night I dreamt of Gordon Brown
I travelled to a distant Town
And sat alone upon a chair
To met the Scots mouth breather there


He came dressed in a perky tie
Smiled and “accent -ess” said “hi “
We chattered like a pair of apes
About how children get in scrapes

But as I left I turned to see
That he thought he was rid of me
And back his false face quickly peeled
SO the Lizard was revealed

He screeched in horror that I saw
And barred my way out to the door
Some men in black said when I woke
I would forget the lizard bloke

Last night I dreamt of Gordon Brown
He just came in, and then sat down.
Something else , I had to say.
But now its faded quite away

Bum bum BAAAAAAAAAAA !!!

Anonymous said...

This dream is about the doubts, confusion - and guilt - eating a way at you, Iain.

You've been fraternising with the enemy in your mind, as in...bloody nora, Broon's reinventing himself...what if he wins in 2009...2008...2007 - EEEK!

It wasn't your fault you tell yourself, you were mislead into it. You weren't to know the enemy would prove to be so seductively likable.

However, as in the dream where your auntie symbolised Maggie, this is also an upside down world populated with substitutes.

For dining with the enemy also means fraternising with the enemy's clone, heir or messenger and thinking...my God, he's turning into Blair...just as Broon's turning into DC...I'm Conservative, get me out of here!

A worrying double inversion.

Little wonder that it gave you the shock of your life....twice :)

Anonymous said...

Does your 'Auntie and Maggie' dream provide the solution, Iain?

The double inversion couldn't occur if Auntie and Maggie were fused instead of cloned.

David Anthony said...

Cilla: 'Alright Chucks and welcome to Blind Date! Contestant number one, how would you wine and dine your lovely date here?'

Brown: 'Er... well, to begin with I would set out our five relationship test that must be met to measure our mutual compatability. Er... then, I would order for us both a standard meal from a set budget of £40 assuming that interest rates remain below 2.5% from now until the designated date of said date. Er... I would ensure that our mutual rate of compatability and happiness grew at a steady rate of 3% over the course of the relationship, with key tests laid out at a set number of viable half-termly periods.'

Cilla: '.....ok, moving on to Number Two.'

Anonymous said...

A psychiatrist might worry about the daily motion powering the Doughty Street podcasts. Nothing to do with the hot air.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if Gordon used to dream of Granita?

Paul Linford said...

I may regret this....but I think it was almost certainly a dream of the future.

The date is 2021. Iain Dale, having served successively as Culture Secretary and Home Secretary in William Hague's two-term Tory Government, has defeated Esther McVeigh in the Tory leadership election to become Britain's first openly gay Prime Minister.

While preparing to move into No 10, he is contacted by a Downing Street official with the information that a "senior personage" would like to meet him privately, away from the prying eyes of the media. This turns out to be Sir Gordon Brown, KG, who following his triumphant victory over David Cameron in 2009, went on to become one of Britain's greatest Prime Ministers before retiring ahead of the 2013 election which propelled Mr Hague to power.

During the course of the lunch, the 72-year-old Sir Gordon passes on the benefits of his accummulated wisdom as the towering figure in late 20th and early 21st century British politics, while satisfying himself that the man preparing to occupy his former role is up to the task.

Afterwards, Sir Gordon incurs the wrath of the Labour leader, James Purnell, by letting it be known that the meeting has taken place, and declaring: "Mr Dale will not let the country down."

Anonymous said...

Gordon Brown won't get a KG, he'll get a KT, since he's a hootsmon. As indeed will Blair, perhaps.

Hamish McGlobbie

Anonymous said...

Drea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream

When Broon gets blue, in the night
He picks his nose 'til it shines bright
Whenever he wants to, all he has to do is
Pick and lick and
Drea-ea-eam

You'll get worms, says Mrs Broon
Don't touch me, ya slimey cloon
But Broon aint bovvered, while he sings this little
Tuuu-uu-uu-uu-uun

I can make you mine, bogies devine
Anytime night or day
Only trouble is, gee whiz
I'm pickin' my nose away!