"I was at an event recently where I was introduced to a huge hog who was called Boris. But he was nothing like our Boris - at least the pig had its hair brushed" - Tory leader David Cameron, on his higher education spokesman, Boris Johnson.
"I was brought up as a Labour voter and it was euphoric when they got into power. I didn't realise it wasn't New Labour at all - it was the Tories dressed in red" - Noel Gallagher, of the pop group Oasis.
"If Iraq is too dangerous for Harry, then it's also too dangerous for Tom and Dick" - Barry Horne of Dunstable, Beds, in a letter to the Daily Mail.
"Look at this smoking ban coming in soon. Ridiculous. This country is run by dull people" - Yorkshire-born artist David Hockney.
"The Government's foreign policy has been worse than a crime. It has been a blunder. Then again, some may argue it the other way around" - Former Tory Foreign Secretary Sir Malcolm Rifkind.
"Do not use for drying pets" - Advice notice on a microwave oven.
14 comments:
Is that the same Malcolm Rifkind who as foreign secretary was so opposed to stopping genocide?
The quotes are so good you posted them twice!
Harry is good even if not original!!
The Bizarrantennae picked up on this one:
"Do not use for drying pets" - Advice notice on a microwave oven.
Don't pets dry themselves?
"Do not use for drying pets."
An iron - can't remember the brand - has a tag attached, "Do not iron clothes while wearing them."
Did you know, on the side of a can of Coke, there is a free helpline number?
"Oh, I've bought this can of Coke. Now what?"
I'm sure it's an urban legend, but there was this story, in the early years of microwave ovens, about the housewife who dried her soaking wet cat in the tumble dryer and then finished it off in the microwave...
The Tom/Dick/Harry one is excellent, as it bangs the nail on the head of the one thing Labour didn't need any reminding of at this time.
The David Hockney quote, and his performance some time back on the Today programme makes me smile, but I fear when it comes to fags, and the fact that it isn't just one's own health which is at risk, that I can't agree with him.
Hmm.. interesting to see what Snopes has to say on this, as I remember at school hearing a teacher refer to a 'poodle in the tumble dryer' story.
It seemed to involve the lady [story always seems to involve a lady] trying to sue the manufacturer for not putting a warning on the side.
No doubt at least one of these has a grain of truth in - it's a big world out there.
My personal favourite warning is on a 'hot air paint stripper' which chucks out air heated to several hundred degrees centigrade [trust me, I'm not making this one up]..
'Do not use as a hair dryer'..!
Boris's enormous fan club do not want him to brush his hair, we love Boris as he is.
Auntie Flo'
Interesting that Cameron should use the word 'hog'. It's originally an English word, like 'fall' for autumn. It was carried to the US by the Pilgram Fathers in the 17th century, where it survived, but like fall, it died out in the UK.
David Hockney's belief that smoking makes you, somehow, not dull is pretty pathetic.
There are all sorts of selfish pursuits that we ask people to moderate because of their detrimental effect on others.
I can't wait until I can go to pubs in England without breathing other people's poisonous fumes.
What country is Hockney talking about? He's been an LA icon since before I was born.
"David Hockney's belief that smoking makes you, somehow, not dull is pretty pathetic."
That's not what he said. He said banning it is the act of dull people. He could have used a stronger word than "dull". Bossy, interfering, fascist, totalitarian?
Loved the comment from DC about Boris and the hog. One of the papers suggested this meant DC didn't like Boris Johnson - whereas surely every Englishman knows you would ONLY say something like that about someone you liked!
Besides, one Bullingdon boy wouldn't slag off another.
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