HSBC: I just need to check your postcode.
ME: No you doubt.
HSBC: It's for security.
ME: I don't have an account with you.
HSBC: Well, it's for security, sir.
ME: But I don't have an account with you. Why would you need to speak to me unless you are trying to sell me something?
HSBC: It's for security, sir.
ME: Can I have your postcode please?
HSBC: We don't give out that information.
ME: [bangs head on desk] Exactly.
HSBC: I need your postcode, sir.
ME: Are you completely deranged?
HSBC: If you'd just give me your postcode, sir.
ME: Do you play the robot in Star Wars 4? Listen to this very carefully. I am not giving you my postcode. Why don't you do something innovative, and if you want to tell me something, write me a letter.
HSBC: Well, I need your postcode, sir.
I want to emigrate.