Sunday, March 29, 2009

My UKIP 'Hidden Agenda'

So, Stuart Wheeler has been summarily shown the door by the Conservative Party. Good. Actions have consequences, as Mr Wheeler (as he will now forever remain!) must have known. No responsible political party could have allowed one of its donors to give a large amount of money to a rival political party and turned a blind eye.

But apparently, I have a hidden agenda in all of this. It seems I called for him to be expelled so I could help UKIP survive. Obvious, innit. Well, that's what a site called Political Gossip reckons...
We understand that Iain Dale is callling for Stuart Wheeler to be 'kicked out' of the Tory Party for his 'treason'. Mmmmmm. Iain Dale knows full well that all this is likely to achieve, is the driving of Mr Wheeler into the hands of UKIP - the Leader of which is a 'close friend' of Iain Dale. After all, we were all confused in this office at Mr Dale's effusive comments towards Nigel Farage - but we understand that a few meals and drinks together have placed these 2 individuals at a different 'operating level'. According to a Nigel Farage critic, 'Nigel was never fussy about the company he kept'.
Hilarious. Yes, Nigel Farage is a really close friend of mine. So close that I have met him all of, let me see, yes, three times. And on none of the occasions did either of us have a meal or a drink. I'm sure that we'll put that right soon though. Cos we're bosom buddies, don'tcha know.

A few days ago someone quite well known texted me saying: "I read the papers and read about this person with my name, who is a complete stranger to me." With the reaction to my shortlisting for the Orwell Prize and this sort of thing, I am beginning to know how they feel.

UPDATE 21.40: it gets more hilarious by the minute. Come crackpot anti-Farage UKIP website reports this...
Iain Dale would seem to have more than a reasonable interest in the well being of Farage. Could the stridency of Iain Dale's dismissal of Stuart Wheeler be founded on Jealousy or spite? Clearly Iain Dale seeks to damage The Tories in the long run and is seeking to push Stuart Wheeler into the arms of Farage - I would presume that foolish as Stuart Wheeler may be with his petty cash he is not as dumb as Iain Dale would wish him to be to comply with his underhand behaviour.

I think I need to lie down. Just wait till they read my GQ profile of Farage, which is out next week. That should really set the conspiracy theorists away with the fairies.

23 comments:

canvas said...

The truth is not many people really care about UKiP or Nigel Farage.

or Wheeler for that matter.

John said...

Some people will see conspiracy everywhere.

Tim Ireland has no doubt just stained his shorts with a white sticky substance in anticipation of the inspiration he is about to receive on this through that somewhat shabby looking tin foil hat of his.

JuliaM said...

That, along with the thought of Jackboots Smith watching porn with her repellant hubby, is an image I didn't really want in my head...

*applies mindbleach*

Beowulff said...

It's good if they have kicked him out because it will help some of us make our minds up who to vote for when and if we get the opportunity.

JPT said...

Party politics above the good of the country.
Traitors one and all.

ukipwebmaster said...

Keep up the good work Iain.
;-)

Twig said...

Sounds like good news for UKIP, but
it won't affect Tory funding, Stanley Fink will make up the shortfall from pocket change.

Oldrightie said...

"Party politics above the good of the country."

It's what Labour are for.

Dick the Prick said...

Soz bud, genuinely, but I caught a bit of homophobia in the first nom de plume para.

Anywho - don't blame you for welching on GMTV - 'we'll send a car' err... and a bottle of champers and some darned good freefallers in the green room? No, sod off then.

Helen said...

"Party politics above the good of the country."

It's what Labour are for.


And what Conservatives are for. Not that anybody really doubted it. What makes anybody think Stuart Wheeler cares one way or another about his party membership?

Helen said...

"Party politics above the good of the country."

It's what Labour are for.


And what Conservatives are for. Not that anybody really doubted it. What makes anybody think Stuart Wheeler cares one way or another about his party membership?

Doug said...

Iain, damn you're good. You should offer your services to MI5 or MI6 and use you counter-intelligence skills against Britain's enemies.

Or perhaps you should adopt an alter ego and take your skills to street. May I suggest you become the Pink Knight.

Dick the Prick said...

Yeah, re-reading it just to check - who are these people?

I like Farage too - not because I agree with him but because he has a point - who are they fighting and why?

Cheap hack, enjoy yer kip lad in your tidy house.....

mutleythedog said...

Those movies are rubbish anyhoo - there is far better on the interweb! See my blog for links. By the way I wrote about you...

denverthen said...

Loonies to the left of him, nutters to the right of him.

After Poll's attempted fudge of Jacquie's porn and nulab sleaze generally - and then her slur on old Wheeler (which you tore down nobly, btw), and now U-KIPPERS up in arms (or is that fins), I wonder how you manage to stay sane.

Maybe you don't.

Christ, this country need a general election so very badly.

Conand said...

'Clearly Iain Dale seeks to damage The Tories in the long run'

Hahaha that really is completely mental nonsense.

Doing well on R5L Iain, good stuff! I like the dude calling for Jackboot to sack her husband.

Dick the Prick said...

Clearly those who don't knoe Iain Dale should be afraid...

To Despraging Illiterate and Chrisis pall - their hope has ended in some shite that makes their daddies cringe, and their mommas.

Little and tiny men faking the code that honour held thier betters better.

I'm from unions and trade and yet I am sad.

Trixy said...

There are a few nutters out there who run a couple of anti-Farage websites and they're also, let's say, rather 'straight laced' on other matters too.

The general rule is that if they and their little pals attack you, you're doing something right.

But don't expect them to let facts get in the way of their arguments. A couple of episodes of 'The World at War' is normally all they need for inspiration.

niconoclast said...

The Conservatives have never apologised for taking the UK into the EU and they are in a permanent state of denial about it.Rather than admit their mistake they attack the only party that promises withdrawal from the mess they got us in.In psychological terms this is known as 'projection' and one if its most accomplished exponents is of course none other than Mr Dale himself.

Simon Gardner said...

Trixy said... “...a few nutters out there who run a couple of anti-Farage websites...”

Links please.

Paul said...

Thanks, Iain, if it was you got Wheeler chucked out, we will welcome him with open arms at UKIP, and all the other Tories pissed off with your spineless leader.

But I don't see conspiracy here, just incompetance. Of course, if you chuck Wheeler out, he will come where his money is more welcome. You are just too dim to work that out for yourself from first principles.

I don't think you do eat and drink with Nigel Farage, he's a bit fussier about who he sits down with than to break bread with Tory eurowets.

Anyway, for whatever reason you said it, we thank you from the bottom of Independent hearts.. and for the record, I'm happy to buy you a drink anytime, now we have exclusive access to Mr Wheeler's donations from now on.

Paul Wiffen
UKIP London chairman

Iain Dale said...

Paul, well if that's the way your party works...

Do enjoy my profile of Nigel in GQ, out tomorrow. No doubt it will further enrage the conspiracy theorists.

Simon Gardner said...

Paul said... “Thanks, Iain, if it was you got Wheeler chucked out”

I very much think it was. Central Office (or whatever it’s now called) was keeping it’s head down over Wheeler for 24 hours...