Seeing as I am spending most of the day transcribing the two and a half hours I spent with Ken Livingstone on Tuesday, I thought I would let you entertain me throughout the day (and, let's face it, divert my attention) by putting words into my mouth. But only decent ones please.
I think you'll enjoy the interview when it comes out in a couple of weeks. Let's put it this way. You can't spend so long with Ken without him saying something controversial.
37 comments:
"Say what you like, I think Cabernet Sauvignon is better than Merlot."
Not a caption:
That finger of yours is actually wagging at the man Iain ... gosh.
"Ken, I know you prefer newts but frankly, hamsters do it for me every time......."
You know Ken, you really should run for mayor of Tonbridge.
ID "How are you finding your new job Ken? Its nice to meet the chef.I do love going to Ken's Cafe before the game. You get the toast just right!"
E.T. phone home.
They could be twins!
Iain: Indeed Ken, but it wasn't it Kropotkin who said that it was the societies where the practice of mutual aid has attained the greatest development, are invariably the most numerous, the most prosperous, and the most open to further progress. THAT's why I'm a Tory.
"Ken, I don't know how to tell you this but that Japanese sign behind you actually says 'Vote Boris for Mayor' "
Iain "Let's demonstrate 'matching and mirroring' for the cameras, that's how the sophisticated interviewer puts his interviewee at ease/off guard"
Ken "Sod that. I've been doing this for thirty years. The only person who ever caught me off guard was that bloke with the giant telephone, Dom Jolly or something like that"
"Tell me Ken, how easy was it to be Mayor of London and an actor in Coronation Street at the same time?"
Iain Dale: "Pull my finger"
Ken Livingstone: "No"
ID: How tickled I am to be here.
KL: I'd rather Boris kept my seat warm for me than you spanking my rear end.
Ok .. I've got one. A German, a Mullah, a Rabbi and Hugo Chavez go into a bar...
Iain: 'Ken, there's a piece of glass stuck in your head. Doesn't it hurt?'
Ken: 'The trick is, not to mind.'
Ken stuns Iain by revealing that he turned to newts in order to distract himself from his obsessive crush on Margaret Thatcher and her sexy legs.
"You can't spend so long with Ken without him saying something controversial."
Isn't that his whole raison d'etre?
Anyway, caption:
"Which Twin has the Toni?"
(and yes, you do have to be a certain age)
Reasonable man 1 - bl@@dy Marxist
Reasonable man 2 - bl@@dy Thatcherite
"Isn't male-pattern baldness a bitch"?
"Yeah."
"OK; Israel, Chavez, Lee Jasper, Boris, the third runway, Gordon and your leadership bid are no-go subjects, but I MUST have a Harriet quote .."
Iain " Are you sure that is just a Newt I can feel".
And in political history, the lunch at Kens will remembered as the "Granita" moment when they agreed to join forces to take over the government.
The only fully visible Kanji on the top row of the picture behind Ken's head means "Wind".
Rather appropriate.
So, Ken... You are telling me you that were really only ever in it for the money? And that's why you resigned from the Lambeth Young Conservatives?
And then, you'll never believe this Ken, but on the Front Bench, in full view of the TV cameras, Gordon ATE it.
And then licked his finger clean!
Iain, are you now copying Guido Fawkes with running a Friday Caption Competion so that you can go and have a long Wet Friday lunch?
ID: So let me get this right. You did have a tin of guacamole yesterday but you don't have it today and you can't remember what you did with it.
Well done, Vulpus_rex: "kaze".
I'm sure there's a "bag" ideogram hidden there somewhere…
ID "What this I here that Ken's Cafe doing a special on green custard?"
KL "We call it crème mandlée".
"John M Ward said...
Well done, Vulpus_rex: "kaze".
Sadly the only other completely visible one means "moon" which doesn't have quite the pleasing connotations of bag.
Hey, Ken, have you seen the Dolly Draper Downfall video, yet?
or
"There's a vacancy in Stoke........"
Ken: And have you taken that vile Jonathan Cook's vile profile picture down yet Iain?
Iain: Vile? What's actually vile about a man's face being superimposed on an anatomical drawing of a woman's genitalia in this way? And leaving it on my family orientated blog for weeks? I'd never leave offensive material once it was pointed out? What's vile about this?
Ken: What's vile Iain? It's Dolly Draper's face is what.
PS 1: Derek/Ken - only joking.
PS 2: Iain/John - serious point.
Two hours later
Now here's what's wrong with the buses....
"You are awful, but I like you."
HT: Dick Emery.
het the free national geographic fleece on! i got my sister a subscription for her birthday and you got a free fleece!
het the free national geographic fleece on! i got my sister a subscription for her birthday and you got a free fleece!
... and the bear said
"You didn't really come here to hunt did you ?"
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