Monday, April 14, 2008

You're a Randy Lot, Aren't You?!

More results from the sex survey. This is the average number of sexual partners each parties supporters reported as having. Again, I have excluded the BNP whose result of 64.4 seemed a little odd to say the least! It does seem that nationalist fervour does seem to induce some form of arousal. How else do we account for UKIP and the SNP & Plaid being at the top of the love league!? I have to say I was astounded at the number of SNP supporters who reckoned they had had more than 250 sexual partners. No doubt someone will come up with a rational explanation...

UKIP 34.37
SNP/Plaid 29.48
Labour 27.37
Conservative 23.54
Greens 17.02
LibDems 16.92
Floating Voters 15.20

24 comments:

Newmania said...

The SNP are the Pictish horde Iain and therefore lying braggarts who in reality ejaculate only on the occasion of finding 50p down the back of the sofa.

Sorted

Anonymous said...

Lots of Scottish inbreeding?

rob's uncle said...

The obvious 'rational explanation' is that more Nationalist supporters who responded [a small actual number, I imagine] pulled your leg than the supporters of the main 3 parties. This survey is amusing but but it tells us nothing at all about what actually goes on, which is no doubt a lot less than is reported.

Ted Foan said...

This sex survey stuff has already become farcical. Just let it drop now, Iain.

Anonymous said...

The Libdems don't seem to be very liberal when it comes to sex...

Anonymous said...

Tumescent results indeed! Surely many were at school with Ananias...and if you really want to hear porkies, ask anyone about his/her sex-life...as for those with political leanings, could you possibly choose a more mendacious group to survey?

Tapestry said...

the SNP? those long drunken kilt-attired nights...

apparently the ultimate nationalists, the Nazis, were a big gay scene pre-war and many Brits popped over for a bit of the action. maybe nationalism combined with socialism brings on the gay element. Without the socialism, OTOH, nationalism is clearly hetero.

no wonder european populations are falling, throughout a continent devoid of sex, as nationalism is overruled and eradicated.

Anonymous said...

One explanation for the number of sexual partners for Scottish Nationalists is that they included the sheep.

Anonymous said...

SNP think they are being screwed by 50 Million English people.

Either that or they are aware that they are screwing 50 Million English people.

Unsworth said...

" I have to say I was astounded at the number of SNP supporters who reckoned they had had more than 250 sexual partners. No doubt someone will come up with a rational explanation..."

It's a side effect of consumption of large quantities of alcohol and going to bed early - both to keep warm in those harsh northern climes.

Scipio said...

SNP. Sheep?

Anonymous said...

"I have excluded the BNP whose result of 64.4 seemed a little odd to say the least!"

Of course, were it true then there would be a much greater attraction to joining.

Alan Douglas said...

... a sexual partner multiplied through the prism(s) of a cut-glass decanter, not to mention its consumed contents, would explain everything ...

Alan Douglas

Anonymous said...

OK, I lied about the 250+ people. What's the odd 248 or so between friends, eh!

Anonymous said...

Hmm. Based on the results of this survey, in 50-100 years' time the followers of the Religion of Peace(TM) will need to hire all the mobile cranes in the country and buy up every last metre of rope to hang everyone who has had (a) more than one sexual partner and/or (b) sex outside marriage.

Anonymous said...

An unreconstructed Catholic I may be, but I'm genuinely amazed that ANY of the averages are over 10! Maybe I've led a sheltered life. Where do people find the time, and the, erm, energy?

Anonymous said...

Each SNP Politician & Activist is the leader of a clan who are all descended from him/her.
The Dalriad/SNP/DUP Matriarchs of Western Scotland and Northern Ireland are especially fecund.
The numbers of the teaming multitudes of Glasgow are only controlled by specially trained 'Knife Gangs' who regularly cull those not needed for the ongoing conquest of Westminster.
Other measures include ritualized warfare based around the ancient game of 'football'. In these battles pagans (the greens) endlessly fight christians (the blues).
Beyond these loyalties these barbarians pay homage to a High King. Until relatively recent times King Blobby 'The Prudent' Bean I has commanded the loyalty of most tribal groups; however a 'young pretender' in the form of the Sacred Salmond of The Highlands has appeared.
The Sacred Salmond issues proclamations from the bowels of an especially ugly building. Many of these proclamations contain demands for ever increasing tribute from the now powerless King Blobby Bean.
King Blobby Bean meanwhile is hatching an evil plan to neuter his nemesis and his fecund supporters. Blobby Bean found the keys to the treasury of the English Queen; he gave gold to the alchemists of the Great Defra and they produced for him a foul toxin. Unfortunately for Blobby Bean some of this putrid filth leaked out, to the dismay of those still loyal to the English Queen.
Will nothing stop the evil designs of King Blobby Bean?
There is a man from part of a clan that went to live among the English, in the halls of the palaces they whisper his name: Saint David of the Camerons, Noble Lord of Witney. He may be able to save us from King Bean and maybe even The Sacred Salmond. Saint David did touch me once and I was healed of all ills!

I did write these words in the year of our Lord two thousand and eight.

Anonymous said...

or a wind up by the nationalists :-)

Anonymous said...

Maybe the SNP actually just gave fake answers for a laugh? duh!

...regardless we are back to slagging the Scots.

Being a Unionist (pro britian not pro "unions") I find this a bit unfortunate.

BTW Iain what is actually the point of this prolonged sex interest on your blog?

...its as if, after having a laugh about Clegg, your blog has been taken over by heat magazine.

Anonymous said...

Again, rampant anti-Scots sentiment in your blog, Iain. Tell me, are there statistics linking casual xenophobia with low intellect, or are the only statistics people are interested in concerning knobs and how often Liberal Democrat leader use them?

Unsworth said...

@ Libelzebra

Anti-scots? Let's not be too precious, this is two way traffic.

Anonymous said...

Libelzebra?

What a dreadful name youve made up for yourself, you sound like a child. I didn't want to start off a bandwagon of angry defensive people.

BTW Im the Anonymous British person before you Mr ZEBRA.

Yes. Unsworth you are totally right (unfortunate but true)... it is two way traffic.

On the political scene at present you have the SNP blaming England and then you get those English "Democrats" people blaming the Scots... its a joke that far from helps things!

Back to the main point - Iain is looking as if he has taken his blog back. Lets hope there is no sex in politics for a while.

Anonymous said...

its probably the same 250 SNP members who go round screwing each other!

Anonymous said...

Two way traffic, Mr ANON?

I didn't see any anti-English sentiments on this blog. I don't see why you would associate me with the SNP (the last party I would want to be associated with, believe me)...

I just think we should be above hackneyed racial stereotypes.