Wednesday, April 09, 2008

What the LibDems Say About Sex & Politics

Here is a random selection of comments left by the 350 LibDems who have so far taken part in the Cleggover Political Sex Survey. Enjoy...

"Well I quite fancy you - if you were straight as it is, I think you are a good gay role model."

"The 'frequency' question needed a write-in box: If I'm in a relationship, which was the case twice in the last year, it's somewhere between a few times a day and a few times a week. If I'm not, it's not at all for months on end. So I averaged at once a month, but that's a misleading answer. As usual, a Tory failed to realise how to ask the right question."


"Someone should write a book about the link between political ambition and sex drive -- I say this having slept with politicians of the opposite sex of all three parties. Much better than the apolitical masses!"

"Its like a sexual version of Cluedo: Sarah Teather, over the woolsack with a feather duster."

"OK, well, Chatham House rules - quote this if you like, but my name doesn't get associated with it. (Not that you actually know my name or anything about me, at least I hope not.) I'm a male Lib Dem student. I was at a political debate at a student society, and afterwards we were having some wind-down drinks with guest speakers and the committee. A certain male Lib Dem MP, in his 40s, had been a speaker, and we started chatting. It was initially about student politics etc, we had a bit of a disagreement on the smoking ban (he supports it, I think it's illiberal bullshit). The questions got more and more, er, unpolitical; this fellow started asking questions about my opinions on other (male) members of the student society. I think the fact that I was gay had already been mentioned in some context, I don't make any secret about it. So yeah, this guy was asking if I fancied the president of our debating club (I didn't), in retrospect an odd question but I was drunk and it didn't seem weird at the time. So I milled around, chatted to more people, got more drunk, the night went on. Our society had booked this MP a hotel room for the night - we usually do that for guests who have to come a fair distance late on - and not knowing the city, our yellow-feathered friend asked me if I could walk him back to his hotel, since I knew my way around town. I didn't think anything of it. We got as far as the road when he asked me if I wanted to come up for a drink (that's when the penny dropped, god I was being slow wasn't I ...) I did a Brown, I'm afraid. Bottled it. Didn't really fancy him in the slightest though. And why bother? I mean, I've actually bedded a couple of players from my uni's rugby team, they were über-fit and had six-packs and are officially straight (hah! hardon says otherwise). Way more risqué than some podgy middle-aged MP. Why the f*** am I telling you this, you're a Tory, and this is my private life. Call it Clegg Syndrome. Meh."

"The freedom to express my own sexual feelings is part of such a great ideology that only the Liberal Democrats can bring."

"I clicked yes to "affair" but as I'm in an open relationship it doesn't really count as being unfaithful. I've only ever done it with permission, and sometimes even with my committed life partner present and participating."

11 comments:

David Boothroyd said...

At the next election the Lib Dems should hand out posters and badges with the slogan "Nick Clegg! Make me no. 31!"

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't surprise me if the gay Liberal Democrat association gave out badges with:- 'I'm a gay Liberal Democrat! Nick Clegg- make me number 69!' Cough...

Anonymous said...

That's the best from the Lib-dum section?

Anonymous said...

Everyone knows that Libdems are great lovers - they are so good at coming last.

Anonymous said...

I feel ill.

Anonymous said...

More of this, please. A little mild titillation keeps me going during the day.

Scipio said...

I wonder if your annonymous gay Lib Dem poster went to Essex University between 1996 and 1999, and if the anonymous MP was the member for Winchester?

In which case, I remember the event.

But who the hell were the lads from the rugby team. Wasn't me for sure!

Anonymous said...

Everyone knows that Libdems are great lovers -

They don't believe in first past the post

Anonymous said...

Is David Laws in his 40's?

Anonymous said...

Adrian Yalland, Mark Oaten was born in 1964, so he wasn't in his 40s between 1996 and 1999. And he was elected only in 1997, so it should have been between 1997 and 1999.

But it still could have been Mark Oaten, if the incident happened after 2004.

Machiavelli, David Laws was born in 1965, Stephen Williams in 1966 and Simon Hughes in 1951 (the incident could have happened in 1990's). But Laws actually isn't podgy, so I don't think it was him.

Scipio said...

Anon: You are right - can't be Mark Oaten as they were discussing the smoking ban.

Mark Oaten did speak to the University Lib Dem society (who out of courtesy invited the other political societies to attend - we all got on really well despite the political differences), in about 97/98ish. He was rather good - I liked him a lot, and agreed with lots of what he said. But then he is an economic (and clearly a social) liberal.

However, we also had Stephen Twigg the following week, speaking about the EU, and who after some rigerous questionning from me tried to tell the audience that he and I 'were in borad agreement' on the EU, to which I loudly retorted that pretty much everyone in this room (who all knew me and my views well) know that 'you and I' are about as likely to agree on Europe as Tony Benn and Margaret Thatcher are likely to agree on Nationalisation.

The room collapsed and he wasn't impressed.

He then started talking about how real patriots would be pro-EU, to which I reminded him that real patriots would know which way up the Union flag would go (the Labour Society decided to hang a union fag from the rostrum - but upside down). The room collapsed again.

I then reminded him that an upside down Union Flag was in naval terms, a sign of distress, which was very applicable for Labour's policy on Europe - and Mr. Twigg in particular. The room collapsed a third time!

I did give him a bit of a hard time, poor chap. He was new and green and nervous. Nice guy though - not at all up himself. All the girls fancied him. Lots of the boys did too!

I think Iain shold do a post on expereinces of MPs speaking at Universities.