Cherie Does it Again...

From today's Evening Standard. Alerted by Croydonian...

It was claimed that while Mr Brown was on his feet yesterday, Mrs Blair walked past the Communication Workers' Union stall and said with a wave of her arm: "This is all rubbish."
She was then said to have turned to two people near the stall and said: "Anyway, you lot should be supporting Alan Johnson". Mr Johnson, the Education Secretary, is being urged to stand against the Chancellor for the Labour leadership when Mr Blair stands down. The incident is alleged to have happened while Mrs Blair was walking through the conference exhibition hall only moments before she allegedly commented "well, that's a lie" on hearing Mr Brown on a TV monitor say he felt privileged to have worked with her husband. Downing Street deny both allegations and insist that Mrs Blair listened to the speech in a side room. A spokesman said of the alleged remarks: "This is clearly not true."

Obviously not true. No siree. Cherie just lurrrrvves Gordon. Oh yes.

Hattip for graphic to Theo Spark.

Des Names New Defence Body, Er, Des

As part of the government's Defence Industrial Strategy (DIS), it was decreed that the Defence Procurement Agency (DPA) and the Defence Logistics Organisation (DLO) - don't they just love acronyms - should merge.

I see from the the current edition of Jane's Defence Weekly that, from 1 April 2007, the merged organisation will be known as Defence Equipment & Support (DE&S). Even by the standards of NuLab, it seems a bit much that the Secretary of State should be naming part of his empire after himself!

The Reading Habits of Mr Matthew D'Ancona

I worry about Matt D'Ancona. The picture of him sitting at his Spectator Editor's desk in yesterday's Guardian shows a bookshelf bulging with left wing political biographies - Gaitskell, Mandelson, Blair, Callaghan, Tony Benn, Lance Price, Ramsay Macdonald. Not a single Tory tome in sight.

However, I suppose I should take consolation that my oft-remaindered tome of Blair quotations is also visible. Anyway, should Matt ever need a recommended Tory reading list he only needs to pop across the road from Number 56 to Number 18 Doughty Street. Our doors are always open!

Respect to Jeff Randall

Jeff Randall tells a story in the Guardian Media Diary of how two BBC producers once tried to stop him wearing Union Jack cufflinks, saying they were a symbol of the BNP. Randall told them exactly where he would like to stick the cufflinks. Respect.

Was LibDem Donation Permissable and Will Courts Force Them to Repay It?

The Times questions this morning whether the 2.4 million pound donation to the LibDems by convicted perjurer Michael Brown was permissable under Electoral Commission rules. Three of the four investors in 5th Avenue Partners were foreign, which raises the possibilty that the LibDems were in effect given a foreign donation. This is The Times's speculation, not mine.

These four investors, who include former Man United chairman Martin Edwards, believe it was their money which Brown donated and they want it back. However, the LibDems have spent the money and couldn't pay it back even if they felt morally obliged to - which they don't.

The next stage is for the four investors to launch a court action against the LibDems. Watch this space.

Bating Ruth Kelly: A Game For All The Family

I used to think that Ruth Kelly was one of the better Labour ministers - that is until she was promoted to the Cabinet. Since then she has proved to be one of the most hapless politicians in living memory. She reminds me of Jeremy Hanley who had been quite a successful Minister of State but when John Major promoted him to the Cabinet he was out of his depth.

Kelly's media appearances are always fun - not because she ever says anything of interest, but to see how much she can say and yet say so little, using as many vacuous New Labour soundbites as possible.

Her interview this morning with Nicky Campbell was a good example. After hearing it you would think Blair and Brown were bosom buddies and all was sweetness and light at the heart of New Labour. Campbell then said sweetly: "The texts and emails are flowing in from listeners as theu always do after an interview with Ruth Kelly." He left us to decide for ourselves why that might be. It's not difficult.

LibDem Donor Jailed for Two Years

From the Press Association...

The Liberal Democrats' biggest donor was jailed for two years today for what a judge branded "very deliberate and pointed" dishonesty. Flamboyant financier Michael Brown, 40, first gave false information in a affidavit and then tricked the authorities into giving him a new passport.

The Glaswegian bonds trader, whose ?2.4 million political gift last year helped the party to bankroll its general election campaign, was eventually tracked to Majorca earlier this year. Dozens of Spanish and UK detectives descended on the villa he shares with his wife Sharon in Esporlas, on the island's west coast, and arrested him as he celebrated his 40th birthday, London's Southwark Crown Court heard. A few hours after he was led away, guests had been due to arrive at a party he planned for himself. The goatee-bearded multi-millionaire, who also owns another villa on the island as well as a home in Dover Street, Mayfair, central London, pleaded guilty to one count of perjury and another of passport deception.

And The Ferrets Played On...

GORDON BROWN to TONY BLAIR: "I'll never believe another word you ever say to me."

CHERIE BLAIR on Gordon Brown's view of his relationship with Blair: "Well that's a lie."

Dispatches Special Tonight on Cash for Peerages

This evening at 8pm Channel 4 have a Dispatches Special on Loans for Peerages. I've been sent a brief extract of the transcript on the part of the programme which compares the voting records of Peers given a working peerage by Tony Blair...

TONY BLAIR‘These are not honours, they’re working peerages, reserved for party supporters, Conservative supporters, Labour supporters, Liberal Democrat supporters. In my view, it is absurd to say that if someone supports a political party financially – helps it pay its bills, run its election campaigns – that they should be debarred from being party supporters for those places reserved specifically for party supporters.’

COMMENTARY: We decided to put the Prime Minister’s claim to the test. Have the life peers that he has brought in done the work that he expected of them. We commissioned some research into Tony Blair’s working peers. ‘Let’s start off with Lord Levy; a busy man. So what’s his attendance record like? How did he do this last year? Well, out of 63 sessions, he attended 35 – just over half. Not bad. Then let’s look at his voting record for the same year – what was it like? There were 67 votes and he voted in only seven. That gives him a voting record of just under 10 per cent. I have to say, for a man with a job, not taking it too seriously. Now for working Peers who donated money to the Labour Party. Here’s Lord Paul. He runs a large steel conglomerate. Let’s see what his attendance figures are like for a year. Out of 63 sessions, he attended 57 times – 90 per cent attendance. ‘Let’s see what he’s done in his voting record. Well, there were 67 votes taken. He only voted 24 times. Only 36 per cent per cent of the time did he vote. But still, he appears as the Blairite ideal. ‘Lord Grabiner, a top QC, attendance record 2004-5, out of 65 sessions, attended three. Only 5 per cent of the time. And how does that work out with his voting record. Out of 67 votes taken, he voted once. Not a great working record.

Next we looked at the overall performance of labour donor peers. On average attended their place of work only 40 per cent of the time. And they have bothered to vote only 25 per cent of the time. They may have jobs not honours, but they often don’t apply themselves with honour to their jobs.

But life in the upper chamber can lead to a top job – sitting on an important committee or even as a minister. Lord DRAYSON donated more than £1m, including £500,000 in 2004, nine days after he was given a peerage. He is now a defence minister. Lord GOLDSMITH gave a comparably humble £6,000. He is the attorney general. Lord SAINSBURY – well, he’s thought to have given the party up to £12m. And he’s a science minister.

Tune in to Channel 4 at 8pm

Cherie Knifes Gordon

That'll teach me to pop out for a sandwich. Guido is reporting that Bloomberg is reporting that Cherie walked out of Gordon Brown's speech. Apparently she called him a liar. Always nice to get the conference off to a good start, isn't it?

Where's Lord Cashpoint When You Need Him?

The Sero Blog has a post on the state of Labour's finances HERE. Oh dear.

He quotes page 51 of the NEC’s Annual Report,

Furthermore the party has entered into discussions with its other lenders to re-schedule the repayment of loans amounting to £12.4 million.

Yes, I'll bet they have. Those would be the same loans which came as news to the Party's Treasurer, Mr Harriet Harman. I wonder if he's involved in the re-scheduling discussions. Or is that still under the bailiwick of Lord Cashpoint Levy. In the words of Lord Gnome, I think we should be told.

Are Some Blogs Becoming Part of the Media Establishment?

Richard North, who runs the excellent EU Referendum Blog with Helen Szamuely, doesn't like me very much. I'm learning to cope with that, but it doesn't stop me being nice about his blog. It's consistently informative and illuminating but Richard is annoyed that I didn't give it top billing in my Top Blogs list. In hindsight it probably should have been higher, but he seems to delight in detecting a conspiracy where there is none.

Today Richard has posted an interesting Blog entry HERE on how he thinks the mainstream media are cosying up 'established bloggers' and are shutting out the likes of er... Richard North. It's actually quite a thought provoking piece, although to describe Tim Montgomerie's ConservativeHome as "semi-approved" or me as a "safe pair of hands" is stretching anyone's credulity.

Sparks Are 'Dicked Around' by the BBC

Having seen Sparks perform their song DICK AROUND on Jonathan Ross on Friday Night (link HERE) I was astonished to get an email just now from someone who tells me that BBC banned the song from their breakfast show this morning, despite having Sparks in the studio. Bearing in mind some of the output which the BBC puts out in the early morning on Radio 1 and elsewhere quite what they were thinking of is anyone's guess. Who do they think listens to BBC London anyway? Ron and Russell Mael were quite clearly embarrassed but they were quite rightly insulted that they had been asked to get up at 6am and then not havge their song played. So what should have been an interesting discussion ended up as a 15 minute discussion on being banned.

Ron Mael mreacted angrily: "The BBC has offocially killed off our single, DICK AROUND, ostensibly through rather childish objections to the title, an innocent reference to the idle life. That a piece of music can be condemned purely by its title without the 'decision makers' even having the decency to oppen the CD case is a travesty and an insult to both os us as the creators of the music and to the listenersof the BBC."

Bearing in mind that Radio 1 and Six Music often play songs with lyrics glorifying knife and gun crime, it does make you wonder what the agenda is here. Sparks fans will no doubt remember the song NOW THAT I OWN THE BBC. If only...

To see what all the fuss is about you can watch the YouTube video HERE. Visit the SPARKS Website HERE.

LibDem Donor to be Sentenced Today

LibDem donor Michael Brown will be sentenced today having plead guilty to perjury and passport related offences. More when I get it...

Attention Conservative Bloggers

As you know, this year there will be a Bloggers Stand at the Conservative Party Conference, which will feature Tim Montgomerie from ConservativeHome, James Cleverly, Jonathan Sheppard from Tory Radio and myself. We'd like to involve other bloggers too, so if you are attending the conference and have a blog could you let me know by email or in the Comments please.

Blogspotted!

This early morning commuting into London again has taken a bit of getting used to. I had grown rather attached to getting up when I wanted to (which wasn't at 7am!). Today none of the car park ticket machines were working. Not unusual.

I was standing on the platform listening to my iPod (Gordon B would be proud of me) when a man approached me and asked how my new TV project was going. It turned out that he is a reader of this blog and also lives in my village.

I was quite taken aback to be honest. I'm not used to talking that early in the morning! Anyway, I thought that this deserved the invention of another term to add to the growing blogging dictionary. Blogspotting - identifying bloggers in public, especially on train platforms. And I assure you that my blogspotter was neither carrying a clipboard or wearing an anorak!

Gordon Brown Needs the Rampant Rabbit Effect

It has been a very strange morning so far. First of all I listened to a very uncomfortable Gordon Brown being interviewed on 5 Live. As I listened I kept thinking to myself: "This man is just not going to win". Brown just doesn't feel comfortable in his own skin. He keeps inserting little personal anecdotes into interviews to try to make him appear 'normal' (whatever 'normal' is nowadays).

Today we learned that he listens to his iPod while running in the gym. Not an image to conjure up over breakfast. Brown only really hit his stride when talking about foreign affairs. It was instructive that he was plainly taken aback by a 5 Live poll which showed 89 per cent didn't want him as PM.

He also won't be delighted if he watches Newsnight tonight. Frank Luntz has done another one of his focus groups which shows John Reid in a rather good light. I well remember the effect of a similar event a year ago when he single-handedly relaunched a flagging David Cameron leadership campaign. I hope his methodology has become a little more, er, robust.

Media reaction to Brown's speech will be more important than the reaction in the hall. If it bombs, the media will again develop a herd instinct, just as they did last year following David Davis's speech.

It won't be his delivery which fails Brown - it will be the content and lack of vision. Phrases like 'me tooism' are unlikely to have a rampant rabbit effect on the journalistic G-spots. The media are always waiting for the front runner to trip up. Believe me, I should know. Will it be today when they are granted their wish?

Know Thine Enemy

The Guardian has got a quiz HERE to find out how much we know about the man who won't will be our next Prime Minister. I'm rather proud ashamed to say I scored a maximum 9 out of 9. Geek. The results screen says...

You scored 9 out of a possible 9. You are well acquainted with Gordon and may or may not be anticipating his rise to the premiership with relish. Either way, you could probably turn out an adequate The Brown era: what will it bring? piece for several national newspapers.

Never. Hat tip for graphic Theo Spark

Darren Clarke, We Salute You

Darren Clarke's wife died of cancer several weeks ago. No one knew for sure if he would be able to play in the Ryder Cup. He did. Three games, three points. He played a major part in an historic third victory in a row. His wife Heather would be proud. What a great day three days of golf we've had. Some of the shots and puts today were simply unbelievable.

The Tale of the Rampant Rabbit

When I drive home from doing a newspaper review on News 24 I usually listen to Stephen Nolan's phone in programme on Radio 5 Live. Last night I tuned in at a quarter past midnight to be 'entertained' by a discussion about the merits of a rampant rabbit. I have to admit that I had never heard of such an implement but soon came to understand that it is, how shall I put it, something which enables ladies to (as the tabloids would say) pleasure themselves.

It was a strangely compelling 45 minutes in that I kept wanting to switch over to something else but didn't want to miss out on anything! There was a fantastic caller called Anne, who was obviously of fairly advanced years, who had me laughing out loud. She was obviously gagging to buy one but couldn't quite imagine herself walking into an Ann Summers shop. And then this morning, flicking through the Indy on Sunday I spotted an article on the same subject by Rowan Pelling, which you can read HERE. Well, you could if you were willing to fork out £60 to the Indy, which I am not. It's on Page 56 if you have the paper to hand.

The point I am coming to, in a Ronnie Corbett-esque manner, is this. Why is it now socially acceptable to discuss womens' masturbatory aids in polite circles, when if one were to have the same conversation about blow up dolls for men (and God alone knows what else) you would be hung drawn and quartered by the feminist lobby, which no doubt believes blow up dolls are demeaning to women. Well what about the poor bloody rabbits!!!

Imagine, you're a poor little fluffy bunny wandering around a nice country garden, and suddenly you look through the conservatory windows and spy the Mistress of the House.... [end this NOW -ed]

I'll just get my coat...

PS Guido is apparently on the same programme tonight. God alone knows what he will be talking about.

PS I was going to illustrate this piece with a picture of the offending item, but having done a Google image search it's given me quite a funny turn. Must go and lie down. Alone.