Following its revelatory front page story this morning about the Conservative Party not having enough women in front line positions - conveniently ignoring the fact that its new President is one Emma Pidding - I can exclusively reveal that the editor of The Times has ordered his own lobby team to get their own act in order. "Our Westminster lobby journalists represent the unacceptable face of male dominance," he wrote in an apology to the Equalities Minister Harriett Harman. "I am taking immediate action to redress the balance of the sexes," he vowed.
New Times political editor Philipa Webster expressed her delight at the decision, while her deputy, Francesca Elliott heralded it as a "new dawn for women journalists." Chief Political Correspondent Samantha Coates, dressed in white Versace, said "it's time for the 'lezzer lobby' (copyright Paul Routledge 1997) to come out of the closet". And in a stinging attack on her male colleagues, Chief Political Commentatress Petra Riddell exclaimed: "I don't half look good in high heels, don't I?"
Meanwhile Alan Thompson and Richard Sylvester are 94.