There's Only One Peter Hitchens

As you know, I have had my differences with the Mail on Sunday's Peter Hitchens. He's a talented writer, but I find his attacks on the Conservative Party repetitive and unoriginal. 'Useless' seems to be the only word he can ever find to describe the Conservatives. Funny once, but not every week. However, I am going to come to his defence.

Various blogs have been graced with a Commenter calling themselves 'Peter Hitchens'.
I must admit that even I, who have met Peter, didn't immediately realise that this poster was someone else. The 'unreal' Peter Hitchens has taken up residence on Guido's blog and become a bit of a fixture there with his pithy, often amusing but sometimes rather abusive, posts.

But the 'real' Peter Hitchens is far from amused. He often gets emails from people who believe that the 'unreal' Peter Hitchens is really him. Are you with me so far? He asked Guido to delete posts from his imposter, which at first he did, but then he changed his mind.

The 'unreal' Peter Hitchens then started his own blog. And earlier this week posted THIS, explaining that the 'real' Peter Hitchens had turned up at his flat. Guido Fawkes has expanded on the post HERE. The 'unreal' Peter Hitchens asked me to write about it too but I decided not to until I had spoken to the 'real' Peter Hitchens, which I did this morning.

It's quite clear that Peter Hitchens is quite disturbed by these events. In the past he has had a stalker, and what the 'unreal' Peter Hitchens has done has made the 'real' Peter Hitchens feel stalked. Knowing that feeling all too well, I have a degree of sympathy with him. If it's never happened to you, you cannot imagine what it's like. Hitchens told me...

If you haven't had your name stolen in this way, you might think it funny. If you have, you'll know it's not. Imagine someone writing obscene letters, signed in your name, to all your neighbours and work colleagues, your children's teachers and the owners of all the shops you use, and you might have some idea of what it feels like. I think I am entitled to take reasonable action to find out who is doing this, so I can ask him - on equal terms - to stop doing it. It is claimed in this person's defence that this material is a parody. But surely parody has to mimic the style and mannerisms of its victim in a witty fashion. Most of what this person writes is just coarse and he ceaselessly uses lavatory-wall language, something any reader of mine knows that I loathe."

Peter Hitchens knows the identity of the 'unreal' Peter Hitchens, as do I. I know that the 'unreal' Peter Hitchens has no malicious intent and I have told him that (the 'real' one, that is). I also know that Hitchens found out the address of the 'unreal' one through perfectly legitimate means.

So having spoken to the real Peter Hitchens I contacted the 'unreal' one, who, to his great credit, was shocked at how the 'real' one had interpreted his words. And to his even greater credit he has agreed to call himself 'The Hitch' rather than 'Peter Hitchens'.

They'll be calling me Henry Kissinger soon... Actually, better not. I might have Peter's brother on my case.

More from The Hitch HERE.