Sunday, February 25, 2007

Hazel Blears Gets My Vote!


It's time for all chipmunks to come off the wheel fence and give their backing to the only credible candidate for the Labour leadership. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Hazel Blears. As Tom Watson MP says (for it must be true) "I would say that this is a very serious bid indeed, that easily eclipses many of the other campaigns so far." She has a super WEBSITE, a profile on Facebook (but only 26 members!), MySpace and Flickr and even announced her candidacy on Youtube. Sadly, despite Dizzy's best efforts, this spectacular video has only been seen by 24 people so far, so I urge all my blog readers to watch it and support Hazel. You know it makes sense.
And we can help her in another way. I don't think her campaign slogan quite works: HAZEL FOR DEPUTY - WINNING FOR LABOUR. Well, it just doesn't make me moist with excitement. And you, dear readers, can do better. I know you can.

45 comments:

Maggie Thatcher Fan said...

Iain, anyone who can say that John Prescott had been a brilliant deputy Leader without choking is fatally flawed.

David Anthony said...

Let's see...

(1)No more tears with Hazel Blears.
(2)Three cheers for Hazel Blears.
(3)She's not all that she appears .. Hazel Blears.
(4)Break new frontiers with Hazel Blears.

And my personal favourite for the feminist's vote...

(5)Burn your brassieres for Hazel Blears.

Anonymous said...

I have a sneaking regard for Hazel Blears. When I asked her why the life of an English cancer patient is worth less than that of a Scottish cancer patient, Hazel answered along the lines of, 'I don't know'.

She hasn't flinched from putting other, highly critical reponses on her blog either.

However, Hazel has remained part of this rotten government. She has not resigned in protest at the erosion of our civil liberties and our services in England. Nor has she stood up against the many injustices the people of England have to stomach on a daily basis. And, tellingly, she hasn't screamed blue murder against the huge salaries, pay increases and tax free pensions that nulab have awarded politicans.

So, sorry Hazel, but along with the rest of the nulabbers, goverment wise, you're goner come the election.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you need to re-shuffle Doughty Street so that you film people in the kitchen making a cup of tea, or having a cup of coffee and a choccie biscuit, and using the studio as the 'Green Room' - Absolutely priceless!

I hold no brief for Hazel Blears as a politician but any girl that has hair that red is just a little bit foxy..

Anonymous said...

"Avoid the tears" VOTE BLEARS

Praguetory said...

Yep, I've joined Blears for Deputy on facebook. In my recent poll where I asked who would make the best Deputy (from the Tory perspective) Hazel walked it.

Anonymous said...

Copy Hazel and "Inject" a smile into your life.

Anonymous said...

Stand tall with Hazel.

Anonymous said...

Complete cloud cuckoo land.

It's nice that she shows us where all our taxes have gone - up North.

Londontory said...

Shouldn't we be concentrating on decided who the Euro-Fuhrer is to be?

Anonymous said...

As a Labour supporting Addick living in Kent - have come to both your blogs to get you up to date comments on yesterday's match - for once you appear to have been silenced. Looks like both your footbal and politics will soon be conducted in the 2nd Division (or whatever it is called nowadays).

PS I expect your support for poor Hazel will also be the kiss of death!

Anonymous said...

Anyway, looks like she's already got Dorneywood, so why would she want two?

Anonymous said...

How monumentally pathetic was that performance?

I will have to read it later as the speed of delivery didnt allow me to shout "you silly c**t' and hear the start of the next sentence.

I thought she did get one message accross that should resonate with voters "I want to build on the success of the last 10 years"

I would not allow someone of that standard to mow my lawn. I hope all those cheering supporters in Salford were served with ASBO- i personally found them very offensive.

How can Bliar worry about his legacy when his govt is made up of utter fuckwits like her, jowell, hewitt and Beckett?

Ever Ready said...

Is it intentional that her logo looks like a life bouy - you know the sort that are along promenades that you wpuld through to somebody drowning?

Anonymous said...

that old Smokey Robinson number...

Blears of a Clown

campaign poster with Blears on a lead and Tony handing it to Gordo dressed as John Reid

Letterman said...

She's a politician's politician if ever there was one, she's good at what she does (staying on message against all logical argument) but should she run the country while Gordie's away?

forthurst said...

What is that appliance next to the toaster? I think I may need one.

Anonymous said...

What a team Hazel & Ian McCartney would have made!

Newmania said...

A red top wot will win it for Labour

Where there are fears there should be Blears.....

Five more years with Hazel Blears

This is better
Save your carreers support Hazel Blears.

That should appeal to the cynical scum bag Labour Party

Anonymous said...

Anon 4.02 What a great idea!Could herald the return of limbo dancing as a sport.

Anonymous said...

Hazel & Ian limbo dancing-fantastic idea.They'd walk it!

Machiavelli's Understudy said...

"Hazel Blears- Who gives a flying fuck anymore, anyway?"

Works for me.

no longer anonymous said...

I think Guido has it spot on when he compares her to Comical Ali. She claims that everything is fine and nothing is going wrong for the government even when its own supporters accept that there are problems. She should be forced to explain why she is such a liar.

AllBloodyTaken said...

For all you nuts out there Hazel 'chipmunk' Blears is the one for you.

Good slogan or what..?

Lerxst said...

Clearly you've provided the slogan yourself - "Hazel Blears - she makes Iain Dale moist"

Patrick said...

I've just poked her on facebook, ooo-er

vote ewok said...

Vote diminutive chipmunk! (ignore Tom Watson though Hazel, he has something of the night about him)

jafo said...

Don't tell me there's a real person called Hazel Blears? I've seen her on TV and thought she was a robot, programmed to parrot certain phrases no matter what the question. Deputy Leader? You're having a laugh!

HolyroodBelle said...

I hear she's stolen a pollster from the Labour party in Scotland.

Londontory said...

In Blear's defence, if she is the post-Blair "aspirational Labour" candidate then I would support her despite her grubby posturing on so many issues.

What this country certainly doesn't need is a Hainite attack on the middle class.

Mostly Ordinary said...

Once you've gone ginger there's no going back!

Rush-is-Right said...

Opposition for Years
With Hazel Blears.

Vienna Woods said...

"There's Only Tears with Hazel Blears"

"Let's say Cheers to Hazel Blears",

"Only Leers for Hazel Blears"

"Have a Beer with Hazel Blears"

....Oh fuck it, none of it works!

DiscoveredJoys said...

If she really believed all the things she talked about in her video she should stand for leader, not deputy.

The fact that she hasn't suggests that she is afraid of that sour vengeful McGordon McBrown, just like everyone else. Plus of course she's not from Scotland.

judith said...

She should stick to her day job as the short half of the Crankies.

Border Reiver said...

Do we really want a Girl Guide as deputy leader of not just the Labour Party but of this country?

And I'm not even sure it is Hazel Blears in the video on Dizzy's site. I think it's Catherine Tate pretending to be HB. You listen to their speech patterns....

verity said...

Hazel: "We must build on our success" - I assume there was no irony there - "and make politics matter." Gosh, Haze, old bean, all my life, I hadn't realised politics mattered until you pointed it out!

Have you been declared legally brain dead yet?

no longer anonymous said...

Hahaha, check out this comment from a Hazel fan on Facebook:

"as a tory you can go F@*k yourself. Gordon Brown and Hazel Blears have far more appeal than all the stuck up toffs on the tory front bench."

Not if the latest opinion poll is anything to go by! And while I accept Brown probably has some popular appeal I find it hard to believe Blears does, especially with her laughable attempts to defend everything New Labour does and has done.

Londoner said...

I never thought I'd be able to say that Benn is the most sensible candidate for Deputy Leadership.

I used to think "Blears" was just a dyslexic spelling of Blair. But I suppose it might be comforting to those who'll miss the B L A R. Those high ceilings at Dorneywood would be wasted though, and they'd be the expense of buying a cut down croquet mallet.

Seriously, she's a total lightweight. Surely the one thing that Brown really does need is someone prepared to stand up to him when necessary. Blears absolutely won't.

garypowell said...

It really does not matter because She ant going to win and if she does she is a political castrati and will not be in the job for long.

The Tories are on the march. When opinion polls give a consistant Tory lead for a year which they now have its over for New Labour. They would also have to be insane not to believe so.

We will get our vote out Labour will not, its as simple as that.

machiavelli said...

"Hazel - full of creamy goodness"*

*Hazel Blears promises not to abuse her position as Party Chair to access your party membership records and contact you during the deputy leadership election; nor will she use Party communications to portray herself in a positive light to the detriment of other candidates. No, honestly.

barnacle_bill said...

Is she for really?
Or does being in NuLabor make you more susceptible to CJD?
As most of the more prominient NuLabor tosspots are exhibiting symptons of mental illness.

Roger Thornhill said...

"Endure a stream of rancid disingenuous political clap-trap with Hazel Blears" doesn't quite have that snappy ring to it...

"Hazel Blears - taking BS to the next level."?

"Hazel Blears - such a convincing fraud, she may even believe it herself"


I just want to say I have NO sneaking regard for Hazel Blears. Compare her to a liar and you would not get a cigarette paper between them. Utterly contemptable in all aspects. I consider her a vile, obnoxious, poisonous, wicked, venal, twisting lowlife without one ounce of integrity.

When I get off the fence, I will let you know my verdict.

Roger Thornhill said...

She should stick to her day job as the short half of the Crankies.

Perfect fit for Gordon, then.

william norton said...

Given the increasingly presidential charcater of politics and the need to humanise robotic candidates, how about one of these for a slogan:

HAZEL: you'd be nuts not to

HAZEL: it takes a nut to lead the fruitcakes

HAZEL: political Duracell

None of the above are actually true, which makes them perfect as slogans.