Strictly An Evening With Ann Widdecombe & Iain Dale

On November 29th, Ann Widdecombe and I are doing our latest theatre evening in Clacton. I've been thinking about rejigging how we normally open the show. Someone has suggested this...

Widders Conquers Strictly (Yes, I Know I'm a Week Late)

I've only just seen this. Words almost fail me. But as Brucie would say, didn't she do well?

Fisk: Why Ann Widdecombe Should Go to the Vatican

I don't know who Andrew Brown is, but I have just read his ridiculous blog on the Guardian website which asserts that Ann Widdecombe is wholly unsuited to be the British Ambassador to the Vatican because, er, he doesn't really like her. Personally I can think of no one better for the position, and if it offered to her I hope she accepts.

You see, Andrew Brown doesn't think Ann Widdecombe can be a diplomat because, er, she tends to say what she thinks. As if that were a fault. What he fails to understand is that she understands the concept of collective responsibility and mission fulfillment. No ambassador is there to represent themselves. They are there to represent Her Britannic Majesty. Widdecombe is perfectly capable of articulating views she may not agree with - she did that often enough while a Home Office Minister and in William Hague's Shadow Cabinet. I feel in the mood for a fisk... (my comments in red italics). Brown writes...

The British ambassador to the Holy See is someone whose job is to understand and mutually interpret the attitudes of the Vatican and the British government and to broaden their mutual sympathy. I can't easily imagine Widdecombe expressing anyone else's opinions, yet that is one of the central skills of diplomacy.
Piffle. Just because Brown can't imagine Widdecombe taking a brief, it doesn't mean that she can't. Indeed, history demonstrates she can. She can be as diplomatic as anyone if it is required. And I'd like to see anyone better places to understand and intepret the attitudes of the Vatican and be able to convey them back to the Foreign Office.
Purely as a piece of symbolism, there is something in this appointment to upset most people.
For 'most people, read 'most Guardian readers'.
For the Vatican, there is the fact of a woman who won't hesitate to tell them what to do;
Oh really? Widdecombe may be many things but she's not thick. She will completely realise thaty telling the Vatican want to do isn't part of the job descroption of a British ambassador.
but she won't, when she does so, be representing any significant strand of British opinion.
Says who? A man who thinks he represents a significant strand of British opinion - in Islington.
Since she left the Church of England in principled disagreement over women priests, she clearly represents a minority opinion among British Christians.
Does she? She represents many Anglicans who despair at the way their own church is going. And she also represents hundreds of thousands of British Catholics.
Her contempt for Anglicanism doesn't really fit her to explain the religious landscape of this country.
I know from personal discussion with her that she feels absolutely no contempt for Anglicanism. She left the Anglican church out of conviction. That does not mean she is contemptuous of it.
For secularists she is anyway anathema, rather like the post she is proposed to fill.
Another outrageous and unjustified assertion. I know many people of no religion who greatly admire Ann for the strength of her convictions. I am one of them.
Within the Catholic church, as a prominent straight single lay conservative, she forms part of a minority of, oh, about two.
I think that was a passing attempt at satirical humour. Best he doesn't try that too often if it is as incisive as this example.
She is certainly not the candidate of the Bishops' conference,
Well if Brown is so well informed about the Bishops' wishes, perhaps he'd share with us who their candidate is. He can't because hasn't got a clue. And why should an ambassador be appointed by virtue of whether they are approved of by bishops?
but she has also been attacked by the conservative Damian Thompson, who calls her the rudest woman in Britain, and the liberal circles around the Tablet think she would be a catastrophe.
Liberal circles around Islington, he means. And Damian Thompson thinks she's the rudest person he's met. He should get out more. David Aaronovitch is one of the rudest people I have met. But I think he probably make quite a good ambassador.
This is not an appointment that could be made by anyone who thought Britain's relationship with the Vatican was something that really mattered. After all, Melanie Phillips is not going to be our ambassador in Washington.
Ooh, another lame attempt at humour designed to persuade Guardianistas that Ann Widdecombe really is the spawn of Satan. Don't worry, Andrew, they already think that anyway without any help from your poisonous little keyboard.
Now it may well be that the whole thing is a joke, a rumour got up to please her. She must fancy the job or she would have denied the stories more vehemently than has happened. The superficial advantage for the British government of having her as ambassador in Rome is that she would be in Rome, and not underemployed in the House of Lords. But no one in the House of Lords can make very much trouble, whereas diplomats who can't manage diplomacy can damage their country's interests.
Facile. It is usually the House of Lords which causes trouble for most governments. As for the last comment about diplomacy, this is one sentence where Brown and I can agree. Where we disagree is thaat Ann Widdecombe is perfectly capable of using diplomacy to achieve positive ends. She always says that her proudest moment in politics is when she freed a constituent from prison in Morocco. By which she means she got him out, she didn't spring him. This involved delicate and diplomatic negotiations with the Moroccan government, all carried out by her in her capacity as an MP, not a Minister. She even travelled to Rabatt twice, at her own expense, to do it. Don't insult her by saying she is not capable of diplomatic achievement. This case (which I have considerably shortened in description) is proof of that.
There is only one decent argument for her appointment: even though she's an amateur, she can't be less diplomatic than the supposed professionals who produced the memo suggesting that the Pope endorse a brand of condoms when they were asked to plan for his visit. Nor is she likely to run off with a journalist or even a gogo dancer as recent ambassadors elsewhere have done.
But wouldn't it be great if she did? (I knew you;d enjoy reading that bit, Ann!).
But if we are to have an ambassador to the Vatican at all, we should have one who knows something about diplomacy, and not just foreign policy.
And we will. So all is right with the world and God will be in her heaven.

Iain Interviews Ann Widdecombe for Total Politics

In the new issue of Total Politics, out today, I interview Ann Widdecombe. The interview has made a few waves in the papers this morning, with the Telegraph concentrating on her view on candidate selection and climate change and the Mail relishing the possibility of her appearing on Strictly Come Dancing. In the interview...

• Reveals she is going to write a detective novel and has started writing her memoirs
• Says: “If I am offered it [a Peerage] I shall take it.” But says she does not want to be a Minister in a future Conservative government.
• Says: “I came into this place as a Member of Parliament, I leave it as an employee of the House of Commons… I think we’re going to have a third rate parliament.”
• Accuses the government of pushing through parliamentary reforms “which are the equivalent of the Dangerous Dogs Act”.
• Says that “there has been an attitude in the Conservative Party for some time that grey hair isn’t worth anything.”
• Says that MPs who lost in 1997 have been “treated with contempt by the Party”.
• When asked if one should kiss on a first date she replies: “It depends what sort of kiss one is talking about. I don’t wish to go into that any further!”
• Says Conservative Central Office told her association that they were not selecting her successor on merit. “One of my association asked the Central Office Agent: “Are you telling us we may not select on merit?” and with admirable honesty the Central Office agent said ‘yes’.”
• Warns the party not to “blindly” sign up to the climate change agenda. “There is a deep unease that we are rushing into a theology. Those who asked questions are ‘deniers’. We are rushing into a theology imposed by the equivalent of what has become the mediaeval church and no one’s allowed to question it. And even by questioning it you’re doing the world a massive disservice and bringing it under perdition. A lot of us are very unhappy.
• Reveals she may accept an offer to go on Strictly Come Dancing next year.
• Says she would like to present Have I Got News For You again, having previously said she wouldn’t.
• Accuses fellow women MPs of looking for sexism in politics but denies she has experienced it much.

You can read the full interview HERE.

Widders Sniffs the Labour Air

The Press Association is reporting that Ann Widdecombe is seriously considering standing as an interim Speaker until the next election. While she has not yet made a formal declaration, she is clearly up for it, but says she will wait until she has ascertained whether she would have any support on the Labour benches. I first suggested her for the position of Speaker several years ago and if the situation were different I'd unreservedly support her for the job. But love her as I do, I can't help but think that an interim Speaker would be a mistake. The public want reform of the system now, and aren't prepared to wait until the next Parliament. Any interim Speaker, whether it is Ann or someone else, would not be in a position to implement a meaningful reform programme.

Or maybe that's the wrong judgment. Maybe a figure like Ann Widdecombe, who commands huge public recognition and popularity is just the sort of figure to knock a few heads together and be seen to be doing so.

What Do Widdecombe & Currie Have in Common?

What should I make of the fact that I get emails today from Ann Widdecombe and Edwina Currie announcing they both have new email addresses? Just askin'...

Reminds me of a wonderful afternoon at the Tory Party Conference in 2002 just after Edwina had published her diaries. Ann was doing a signing on the Politico's stand and was doing he rbest East End barrow boy selling act. "Get your Clematis Tree here. Very clean novel. No sex, no violence, no swearing. Buy it for Granny for Christmas." At just that point we had a delivery of 500 copies of Edwina's book. I covertly placed a big pile of them on the desk next to Ann. Eventually, she cottoned on and pulled a face. Her sales patter changed somewhat. "Very clean novel," she shrieked, pointing to her book. She then pointed with a disdainful look on her face to Edwina's book. "Very dirty diaries!"

It must have worked. During the course of the week we sold 500 Widdecombe novels, but only 14 of Edwina's diaries. Actually, her book was an excellent read and was about far more than just the affair with John Major. If you haven't read it, you should.

Dates with Miss Widdecombe

Several London based readers asked when I would be appearing with Ann Widdecombe in the AUDIENCE WITH ANN WIDDECOMBE series. Delighted to report that we will be appearing at Regents College next Wednesday evening, 26 November. You can buy tickets by phoning 0207 487 7540.

We're also going to be at the BIC Pavilion in Bournemouth on Friday 23 January. Ticket details HERE.

Ann Widdecombe & Me: A Public Statement

That got your notice, didn't it? Ann & I are performing our theatre show at two theatres over the next two weeks, so if you fancy coming along, here are the details...

Saturday 6 September, 7.30pm: Barrington Centre, Ferndown Bournemouth. Tickets £16.50

Tuesday 16 September, 7.45pm: Civic Centre, Chelmsford. Tickets £16

When to Ask Ann Widdecombe to Dance...

There's a cracking Daily Politico today with Ann Widdecombe HERE. She reveals ragtime music gets her up to dance, she is her own best friend, Jeremy Paxman is her favourite interviewer, Nick Robinson is her least favourite and George W Bush is the politician she most admires.

Other recent subjects for the Daily Politico include Johann Hari, Bob Spink, Nick Bourne AM and Stephen Pound. The full archive is HERE.

Ann Widdecombe Votes on the Dark Side

I wouldn't want to be Ann Widdecombe if the government squeaks home by one vote on 42 days next week. Her announcement yesterday that she would support the measure came as little surprise, but for David Davis and the Tory whips it is galling to say the least. She parrots the line that if the Police want it, the Police must have it, which is always the last refuge of a desperate authoritarian. It is also completely untrue. One senior officer, former Asst Commissioner Peter Clark wrote in the Telegraph this morning to support the case, but if you talk to most officers privately they are either sceptical or downright hostile.

Ann Widdecombe has a track record of going against the grain, speaking her mind and having little regard for the personal or political consequences. She's often been courageous and proved to be right. On this, however, she intends to vote with the dark side. It might be said that her stance has something of the night about it.

Ann Widdecombe Loses It

I have never seen Ann Widdecombe completely lose her temper in an interview before, but in this week's RIGHT ON on Telegraph TV she absolutely shrieks at Andrew Pierce when he continually interrupts her on the issue of MPs' second homes. Watch it in the video box or HERE.

RIGHT ON also includes this week's HEFFER CONFRONTED where Simon Heffer and I discuss Nicolas Sarkozy.

Widdecombe Can't Bear the Bear Hunt

Ann Widdecombe has today given her support to a new campaign to persuade the MoD to stop buying black bearskins from Canada. In the last five years the Ministry of Defence has spent £320,000 on buying bearskin caps for the Queen's Guards. Ann unveiled a shocking new video at the House of Commons today - and believe me, it's not for the faint hearted. More than 200 MPs have already signed an Early Day Motion calling on the government to switch to a modern and humane synthetic fabric, but so far to no avail.

Widdecombe's Party Blows My Cover

Well thank you to all those expressing concern about my whereabouts! No, I wasn't kidnapped by La Widdecombe. I have been out at a meeting in Kent all morning, since you ask. I could tell you what it was about, but I'd have to shoot you [for the benefit of Chris Paul, it was nothing to do with what you think it was to do with - got it?].

I'm not going to blog much about Ann W's birthday do, as it was a private occasion, but I am sure she won't mind me telling you that we were serenaded by Aled Jones and treated to very funny speeches by Simon Hoggart and Ann herself. My stalker was there too. In case you don't understand that, this is what I wrote in the Spectator Diary this week...

At every conference there’s always one person who becomes your personal stalker. You see them everywhere. This year mine turned out to be the 13th Marquess of Lothian, better known to you and me as Michael Ancram. Everywhere I went, he went. Every party I went to, he was there. Why should this bother me? It was I who took to the airwaves and the newspaper columns to denounce his recent pamphlet. I called him a dinosaur, Sir Bufton Tufton and God alone knows what else for breaking ranks on the eve of a conference and a possible election. But we never spoke. Either he hasn’t a clue what I look like (probably) or he decided to blank me (unlikely — he’s too polite). I wrestled with the dilemma of having a chat with him about it all, but then thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie. What a wimp.

Well guess who was sat at Ann's top table and directly in my line of vision? Yup, Michael Ancram. I thought I had got away with it until Simon Hoggart started his speech and retold an anecdote about how Ann used to sell her books at the Politico's stand at party conference: "No sex, no violence, no swearing!" He then added the words "And the man who used to run Politico's, Iain Dale, is here tonight...". I looked at Michael, he looked at me, winked and grinned. He later came over and we had a good laugh about it all. "I thought Sir Tufton had better come and say hello," he opened with. Respect.

UPDATE: Seeing as speculation on certain blogs seems to be running wild, I will tell you that my meeting this morning was with the County Councillor who represents the village where I live. It had absolutely nothing to do with anything remotely of interest to anyone on this blog!

Book Review: The Adoption by Dave Hill

It's a terrible admission but I very rarely read novels. In fact, the last one I read cover to cover was Ann Widdecombe's ACT OF TREACHERY about three years ago. However, one of the guests I regularly invite on to my 18 Doughty Street show is the journalist and novelist Dave Hill, who also writes an excellent blog called Temperama. He's written several best selling novels, and in a rash moment before Christmas I told him I'd read his latest tome called THE ADOPTION. Well, true to my word, I've just finished it.

Now I hope he won't take this the wrong way, but THE ADOPTION is a book which could have been written by Ann Widdecombe. It's similar in content, style and tone to Ann's novels. It revolves around familial relationships and the traumas sudden changes bring to an established family environment. Jane and Darren have three children, but at the age of 44 Jane can't conceive. They decide to adopt and three year old Jody is brought into the family. Jody's mother was an alcoholic and couldn't cope with her. She's a withdrawn child who barely speaks at first.

The book tells the story of how Darren and Jane envelop her with love and how their other three children react to the new situation. Jane is a woman with many insecurities, while Darren is a man who seems to let little trouble him. He provides the stability Jane craves, but at the same time it annoys her. They seek counselling to help their own relationship and their difficulties with their new child.

The story ends with a visit from Jane to Jody's birth mother Ashleigh. Their conversation gives Jane closure and enables her finally to feel that Jody is truly hers.

I have to say I rather enjoyed the book. As with Ann Widdecombe's ACT OF TREACHERY I hadn't expect to. I like to read about real lives rather than fictional ones. My fiction normally only extends to novels with political plots or the horror works of James Herbert - now there's an admission...

My only slight issue with the book was some of the dialogue, which jarred a bit. The conversation between Darren and Jane seemed to be dialogue which made them sound totally unlike a couple who had been together for the best part of 20 years and were deeply in love. At times they sounded more like acquaintances. Too many sentences were laced with each other's names - something in my experience just doesn't happen in private conversations between people as close as Darren and Jane were meant to be. But it's a very small quibble.

All in all I really enjoyed it and highly recommend it to you. You can buy THE ADOPTION for £5.59 HERE.