Friday, September 03, 2010

A Statement Issued Against the Advice of Max Clifford


In order to avoid any unwelcome publicity, Mr Iain Dale (North Norfolk 2003-5) and Mr Ashley Crossley (Falmouth & Camborne 2003-5) wish to announce that they will be sharing a room for two nights at this year's Conservative Party Conference. They wish to confirm that neither is employed by the other, nor would they consider indulging in any form of hanky panky even if the other were the last man alive on earth. Well, that's possibly a slight exaggeration, but it's best to be careful, isn't it? They further wish it to be known that their civil partners are fully aware of these events but despite their best efforts they have been unable to book the next door room together.

Mr Crossley confirms that he has never had a relationship with a woman. Mr Dale wishes that he could say the same.


Shibley Rahman said...

Hope the discussions at the Conference go well, and that your Party has a nice time this year. The conference, in my humble opinion, should indeed go well, because the Conservatives are beating convincingly the Labour Party in the opinion polls.

Dr Shibley Rahman
@RedRose Shibs
Primrose Hill

Antisthenes said...

"Mr Dale wishes that he could say the same."

Why are you heterophobic?

John Hedges, said...

Very good. And very wise. ;)

dizzy said...


kris said...

are you out of your mind?

He's hawt!

"He's the last man on earth". Blah, blah.

Sure, Iain. Sure.


Chris said...

Good for you - sharing a room is a great way of cutting costs.

As long as you don't start paying him out of the public pocket for a job he's not qualified to do... oh wait, you never made it into Government did you? My apologies.


Anonymous said...

Presumably the next door room was booked by Ashley Fitziain and iain Fitzashley.... :-)

Anonymous said...

Great statement.

Also 'Hanky panky' is a very underused term.

I hope the Conference goes well.

Lord Blagger said...

Are you going to be employing him without advertising the job for at the public's expense?

George said...

Double or Twin?

I think we should be told.

Will you dine together?

Breakfast together?

Whats' the arrangement for one of you being tired and emotional after a late night?

This is bit a slice, off the salmagundi of choice questions and facts, that are required, if not mandatory, to avoid the red tops and Guido.

................................. said...

This must mean you two are gays!

Village Bookworm said...

Ooooh, you are awful!

Gordon Brown said...

I've slept in the same room with 15 men under the age of 25, on a regular basis. That's my record. Beat that William! ;-ppp

Gordon Brown said...

PS Iain, to be serious for a moment, I think you're missing the point. If you were foreign secretary, married and sharing rooms with men on a regular basis, I would be asking questions.

Pogo said...

nor would they consider indulging in any form of hanky panky even if the other were the last man alive on earth

But what if he turns out to be a "nine-pint Princess"??? :-)

Bill Quango MP said...

Never say never old man.
I woke up at conference one morning beside Geraldine Dreadful!

John said...

It doesn't matter as long as you don't laugh and wear sunglasses

Adam said...

You're just going to be sharing a room eh?

But not doing anything you say?


I bet you'll be watching each other doing things though you right pair of kinkers ;-)

Anonymous said...

OK its clearly cards on the table time.

I admit it (this is no drill) - I have actually slept in the same bed as a hairy Yorkshireman. Not implying anything pejorative about Yorkshireman since now that I come to think about it I also once shared a bed with a Mancunian.

I also on numerous occasions have shared rooms with other men. Some of them even bought me the odd pint.

Quite frankly I think cutting down on my carbon footprint in this way is quite laudable.

But if you want to make any inference then ... well, go ahead make my day.

Robert said...

Will Willaim Hague be joining you and offering the vacant position of spad?

Ed the Shred said...

Who was the woman? I think we should be told. :-)

James said...

Max will not be happy with this turn of events, has he been in touch to give you advice yet???

DespairingLiberal said...

I've searched this blog really hard to see if there's anything about Andy Coulson and phone tapping. How strange. Not a word. I wonder why that is? It's odd, because I thought this was the page of one of the main independent political bloggers who always insists he has nothing at all to do with Tory Central Office.

I'm certain the stony silence on this subject is wholly unrelated to Mr Dale's numerous appearances on a well-known Murdoch-controlled TV outlet.

killemallletgodsortemout said...

".....nor would they consider indulging in any form of hanky panky even if the other were the last man alive on earth...."

Are you insinuating that he's a triple bagger?

Gallimaufry said...

"...he has never had a relationship with a woman. Mr Dale wishes that he could say the same."

Not very gentlemanly, Iain. What was so wrong about the lady or ladies in question? If someone wrote they were glad they had never had a gay relationship wouldn't you accuse them of homophobia?

Iain Dale said...


You don't really get humour, do you?

This post is satirical. Could you not understand that?

Gallimaufry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gallimaufry said...

I'll see your satirical and raise you Ephraim Hardcastle. :-)

Marcus said...

I wonder whether in rushing to the defence of Hague you are in danger of overlooking the impact these events will have had on Myers.

This isn't remotely comparable to you agreeing to share a room with a friend. Hague was a high-profile senior politician, twice the age of Myers, and his employer, inviting him to share a bedroom when - if your interview with Tory Bear is to believed (at 7.22) - other staff were sent to a separate cheaper hotel.

If they are lovers, fine. But if not, then I think Hague has failed miserably in his obligations as an employer - both to Myers and to his other staff. You don't put an employee in a difficult situation by asking him to share a room when he may not feel able to decline, and when it should be obvious (to you) that the risk this entails is a possible later appearance on the front pages of the tabloids. Nor is this odd sort of favouritism in room allocation likely to go down well with other staff, particularly when Myers was simply a driver/gopher. Likewise giving Myers a job at the public expense when he is less than obviously qualified for the post and when it took Hague over the standard allotment of SpAds. And, of course, Myers has now been resigned, and no doubt the tabloids will continue to crawl all over his life...

I think you have badly misjudged both this and the Coulson story, and like others I wonder if you are going to be a less effective - and less interesting - blogger now that the Conservatives have power.

Maino de Maineri said...

You're missing the point. No one really cares what William Hague did do or didn't do with a younger man. What we might care about is his habit of appointing such people, without any seeming qualifications, to positions at public expense, and his apparent need to tell the world about his wife's miscarriage (Why?)
There may be a bit of tory infighting going on about this, but he is in a position of importance and should act accordingly


I have to say the prime minister has behaved impeccably too.
There, he was, photographed with his "personal trainer" in Saturday's Daily Telegraph.
A guy who charges 80 quid for 30 minutes of his "services"!
And before anyone could think anything was untoward, the PM had got his rebuttal out instantly.
He was so quick and so comprehensive it made the front page of the very same paper.
Not only had the PM whipped out his wife to appear with him in Downing Street.
But there was also a lovely newborn daughter!
I am sure that will put all our minds at rest!