Thursday, April 29, 2010

Five Things Gordon Won't Say In the Debate

1. I was talking to a lady in Rochdale yesterday...
2. I blame Sue.
3. I agree with Gillian.
4. Does anyone know how to switch this microphone on?
5. Some of my best friends are from Eastern Europe...

18 comments:

Peter said...

If he is really smart, he could say he went to Rochdale yesterday, and met some youths on a community project or whatever it was. get a laugh if his timing is right, and a big win for him. Worse luck.

startledcod said...

He's more likely to say those than:

1. The decision to sell the country's gold in the way I did was wrong and cost you all about £9bn. Sorry.

2. The decision to run sizeable annual deficts whilst the tas take was at an all time high was, in retropect disastrous. Sorry.

3. PFI is actually a very dishonest way of keeping Government debt off balance sheet and is dishonest in stating the level of UK debt. Sorry.

4. My 1997 raid on occupational pensions was a mistake as it has taken £100bn out of those schemes and left many people facing a bleak retirement. Sorry.

5. I now recognise that the damage that my policies, which I dreamt up in 1994, and dogged pursuit of them are hopelsly flawed. I now realise that the damage I have wrought on this country is of a lvel that Osama bin Laden could only dream about. Sorry.

Alan said...

...and yet if he were more human, he could get away #1 or #4 as a joke.

I could certainly see Dave or "I agree with"-Nick doing this if they were in the same boat.

As it is, he will remind us that:

insults relating to bigotry have reduced by 23.4% in real terms during his time - when adjusted for Northerners - and will reduce further his five-year plan reaching a low of 7.3 bigot insults per thousand voter encounters in fiscal year 2015/16.

George said...

Sorry.

PIENOMICS said...

Spot on Startled Cod.

I'm still at a loss why DC and the Tories haven't buried Brown over his disastrous stewardship of the economy.

In my view they've played too safe. Big mistake. The electorate know the finances of the UK are dire.

If the Tories had been more honest about the dreadful state of the country's finances they would be over the horizon and out of sight.

pete-s said...

My favourite 5

I am the worst chancellor ever!

I told RBS/HBOS to take unnecessary risks to make funds for the treasury.

I doubled Sir Freds pension to keep him quiet about my dodgy deals.

I wanted the immigrants for low wages to defeat the unions.

I already had £500B debt before the crunch, you just did not notice me doing it.

longrun2 said...

My snide comments about young Dave's education encourage bigotry: he couldn't have got a first-class degree from England's best university when I failed to get into Scotland's best university without some measure of ability and willingness to work.

[Footnote for Labour trolls - the poster was surprised at the age of 16 to find that he had, by accident, acquired the entry requirements for London University, but decided to hang on for a year and try for something better]

Simon Lewis said...

3. PFI was a Lamont idea

4. Lest we forget the pension holidays during the Tory governments? Why is that never mentioned?

Michael Heaver said...

When I said bigot, what I really meant was focusing on the economy, increasing growth, and insuring that we don't go into a double dip..

Thatsnews said...

Or he could say: "**** the lot of you! I am joining the BNP!"

wild said...

Cameron needs to apologise for the British Political Establishment (both Conservative, Liberal Democrat, and Labour) for letting the country down.

He should point out that Brown calling somebody who dares even to mention that problems caused by mass immigration a "bigot" is a good example of how politicians are not listening.

He should note that the push for a Euro Federalist State by the Liberal Democrats, against the wishes of the majority of the British people, and even though the European Parlimanent is a byword for corruption, and the Euro is widely predicted to collapse) is simply another example of politicians ignoring (indeed having contempt) for the wishes of the public.

He should apologise for being posh, and too slick (I am serious about this - I have spoken to people who agree with him but will not vote for him because they think he is too "slick" and reply that although the Bank of England Governor has claimed that the times ahead are going to be so tough that any government who sorts it out is likely to be out of power for a generation, love of a country, love of a country that was once a beacon of liberty and prosperity for the world, leads him to want to be given a chance to restore faith in politics, and politicians, with a vision of the State as a help not a hinderance to people having the freedom to live their lives in their own way.

Gallimaufry said...

From wikipedia:

"A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices.

The correct use of the term requires the elements of obstinacy, irrationality, and animosity toward those of differing devotion."

Our Dear Leader was simply imposing his own psychological flaws on innocent Mrs Duffy.

Oliver Drew said...

I wouldn't be at all surprised actually if Gordon Brown tried to pull an, "I agree with Gillian" out in the debate tonight, because he'll be trying to turn yesterday into his advantage, and it'll be a monumental failure...

More interesting though is this Kerry McCarthy tweet including real postal voting numbers from the East Bristol constituency...some people think it was illegal. Interesting.

sinosimon said...

1. it started in downing street
2. i agree with whoever i'm talking to until i get in the limo the swivel-eyed bastards
3. all borrowing is simply deferred taxation
4. no-one will lose out over the abolition of the 10 p tax band
5. no more boom and bust......hahahhahhahhaahhaha! nurse the screens

Grand_Inquisitor said...

Brown sure is brazen - "Substance verses Style" indeed??

What exactly was he "mortified" about? I noticed that all Ministers were using that phrase - copyright Mandelson?

Was he mortified because he had been found out?

Anyway, Immigration is a real issue that deserves full discussion. I assume that the squirming about this has to do with all of them in the debate being EU poodles.

Glass said...

Iain, Cameron'e best line in response to a Gordon porky would be;

"He may say that to you now, but he'll be saying something completely different in the car home later."

startledcod said...

@ Simon Lewis

PFI may have been a Lamont idea but did he need to follow it quite so slavishly to such an all-time catastrophic degree. Just because it was Norman Lamont's idea does that make it necessarily a good one - er, no.

The pension funds were in surplus, hence the payment holidays. Does that in a ny way absolve him from the fact that he decimated them, er no. In 1997 we had one of the better funded private pension industries, GB put paid to that, What is more his raid changed the liquidity of those funds at a stroke meaning that their subsequent realignment depressed the stock market further screwing the funds. Just to make sure he screwed them three ways he then recruited 800k onto the state payroll whose pensions are funded by, yep, the productive part of the economy.

History will judge Gordon Brown as the worst Chancellor we have ever had.

longrun2 said...

In reply to (or in support of) startledcod:
prior to Brown's raid on pension funds, the Inland Revenue would not allow them to have surpluses of more than 10% and more than two-thirds of their investments were in UK equities because the supply of gilt-edged stock was limited and insurance companies were virtually compelled to hold substantial quantities of gilt-edged, so Brown's raid tipped the large majority of schemes into deficit. As in the late 1970s, the fall in any company's share prices caused its pension fund deficit worsened the pension fund deficits in other companies ...