Sunday, May 17, 2009

Eight Pointless Things About Moi

Tory Rascal has tagged me in the EIGHT POINTLESS THINGS ABOUT ME meme. Only eight? It's what Sunday afternoons are for, innit.

1. My German oral for my final exams at university had to be postponed because the previous day a motorcyclist broke his leg when he hit my car as I was taking three old ladies to vote. It's a long story.

2. I taught tap dancing to Libyan schoolchildren as a summer job in 1984.

3. I once won a pig in a bowling competition.

4. I was once chased by a Hungarian prostitute (female!) and had to flee the country. It's an even longer story.

5. I had all my wisdom teeth removed in one go and felt absolutely no pain.

6. When I met Cliff Richard two years ago I was completely tongue tied and couldn't think of anything to say.

7. I can't whistle, and I have great difficulty in tieing anything, especially shoelaces and ties. If you ever want a good laugh, watch me try to tie shoelaces. I get there in the end, but in a very roundabout way :)

8. I got the slipper at primary school for looking up my teacher's skirt? The psychoanalysts among you can make of that what you will :)

I now tag Charlotte Gore, Bob Piper, Donal Blaney

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

I did 8 things that piss me off. Who started this?

Silent Hunter said...

Oh God no! Not you as well Iain.

Tom Harris is going on about this on his blog as well.

I felt I had to point out that he omitted "being a Labour MP" as one of his 'pointless' things.

CalumCarr said...

Did you look up the teacher's skirt so that you would get the slipper?

Was the teacher male or female?

Silent Hunter said...

BTW Why are you tagging the execrable B O B Piper?

His blog is crap! Hardly anyone comments there; and when they do he is abusive and charmless in his replies.

Surely there must be other Labour blogs that at least have less prurient content posted by someone less 'tribal' . . . you know? . . . some one with a working IQ above 10.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Meeting Cliff.

Ditto. Except that I was supposed to be interviewing him.

Paul Burgin said...

The mind boggles and with some of them we want to know more, but it's clear that a) you won't tell and b) we won't want to know :-)

Dick the Prick said...

8 - that, right there, is why your career in Westminster was prematurely curtailed - you got slippered because you got caught. My English teacher at 2ndary school came dressed up as a schoolgirl for some charity thang - as Quagmire would say 'diggety diggety'.

Like the idea of a mad Hungarian lady of the night chasing you and hurling insults.

Sophia Pangloss said...

I woulda thought lap dancing was banned in Libya.

You old devil, was it a boys or girls school?

Kate. said...

Tell us more about the Hungarian story. If not I'll be up all night trying to work out the details :)

Go on tell us, theres nothing on the box.

Philipa said...

This is just an excuse for you to be a tease. You do love gossip, don't you?

Anonymous said...

Iain, I don't care how long story number 4 is I want to hear it in full please!!!

Ed said...

Well?!

Was she was wearing knickers or not?

You can't just leave us hanging there Iain.
:-)

Anonymous said...

I can't whistle...Stereotype or not, I've yet to meet a gay man who could. And I include myself and my partner.

Martin S said...

I had terrible trouble learning to tie my shoelaces.

My mother realised this was because I was left-handed, so one might she stayed up to learn how to tie shoelaces left-handed. She showed me and I picked it up in only a couple of tries.

Alice Band said...

Re. No. 6, why attempt to say anything: it was your chance to punch him on behalf of the rest of us. (Wimbledon provided sufficient justification.)

Victor, NW Kent said...

1. I ate a banana.
2. I went to a football match.
3. I got flu
and so, boringly on and on about me, mine and memes, whatever the hell those are.

Is there not a place called Twitter for these confessions?