Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Letters to the Editor: No 94

Dear Sir,

I am writing to say how much everyone agrees with the wonderful Jacqui Smith and her brilliant move to bring in ID cards.

I don't want to embarrass Jacqui because I'm sure she's very modest but she really is the best Home Secretary this country has ever had. Even better than that Mr Blunkett who was also very good but not as good as Jacqui.

The only people who disagree with our fabulous Home Secretary are the para-military wing of the unpopular and moribund Tory opposition which now consists solely of a few disgustingly rich old Bullingdon boys and a few old ladies who will probably be dead anyway after another cold winter. Fortunately the Metropolitan Police are dealing with the former under the splendid leadership of Chief Constable Quick.

Finally I would like to dispel the scurrilous gossip about Jacqui being an ex-dinner lady. She was a cookery teacher and could have become Head of Dept if she hadn't moved into politics.

Yours Sincerely

Mr R Timney

Hattip to a comment on Guido Fawkes

UPDATE: It seems a number of people don't get the joke. Richard Timney is actually Jacqui Smith's husband and has been caught out writing to newspapers saying what a brilliant Home Secretary and constituency MP she is, without declaring who he is.

14 comments:

Praguetory said...

ID cards won't prevent taxpayer funded spouses of senior New Labour politicians impersonating members of the public in their local rags.

John said...

Will you be commenting on Guido's latest blogpost Iain?

ZanuLabour after all......

Blue Eyes said...

I would love to get paid £40,000 to write letters, but I'm not sure I could bring myself to "big up" the Home Sec for less than £1m. Mr Timney must be finding it hard to find a proper job. Is this the kind of job that British Workers can get?

Michael Heaver said...

Even for New Labour, that is an amazing bit of spin.

Iain Dale said...

Jesus, it's a pisstake, not real!

Henry North London said...

The letter might be a piss take but the letter author could have revealed he was married to the Home Secretary

Anyway after the shocking revelation that 40% of offences never get investigated by police her head should surely be for the chop anyway

I hear her majority in her constituency is only 2378 or thereabouts

Marginal seat? Perhaps a by election might need to be called if Old Holborn really does give her address out

Blue Eyes said...

UPDATE: Iain it is real! Mr Smith has been writing to newspapers!

Blue Eyes said...

if Old Holborn really does give her address out

Duh. MPs put their home addresses on the ballot. It's not exactly a secret.

Half The Story said...

Does he work for her?

Henry North London said...

Yes hes employed as her secretary at a cost of £40000 per annum to you and me through our dwindling tax revenues

Word verification migun

DespairingLiberal said...

I speculate that she is quite the worst and most oppressive Home Secretary since the 30s? Mind you, she's in the company of many other neo-faschist morons who have held that office.

I nearly threw up when I heard her comments on the radio yesterday about Quick's apologia - she went on about him now being free to return to what really mattered, eg, anti-terrorism work. She seems to have no capability for self-reflection whatever. Has she not noticed that sending his men round to harass opposition politicians might be a huge f***i** distraction from anti-terrorist work???

Or perhaps in her numskull world, arresting opposition spokesman _is_ anti-terrorism work. Jack Straw has clearly implied that several times.

We are really just a few steps from the Stasi state she so admires now.

Richard said...

For chrissakes, I have a real, difficult, specialised job for which I had to pay tens of thousands of pounds (increased by nine thousand by this government) for my own training. My responsibility is huge, for both very difficult commercial issues, for public relations and most of all for safety, dfor people's lives. I don't get paid that much. What on Earth do these people think they are?

Henry North London said...

member parasites all 646 of them

Roger Thornhill said...

Dinner Lady?

I took Jayquacky for an assistant HR manager in a cardboard box factory.